January 13th, 2005

Y U NO JULES VERNE?
  • omgrhi

I now wonder what that would actually sound like...

"I hear this horrendous noise coming from Danny's room -- it sounds like he's being violently ill or something. I get up to go and investigate, reasonably certain that I am going to find him lying on the floor with his intestines being torn out by wolves.

Turns out he's attempting to recreate dialogue as spoken by someone with a frozen ice-branch stuck to their mouth, so that he can phonetically write it into the book.

*facepalms*
"
-laurenmitchell knows a lot of strange people.

PS: Apologies if this posts twice. LJ is being sucky.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Girl

Hehe.

I woke up at about 7 p.m. ate the last slice of cold pizza that I’m guessing Lou got for lunch, and watched tv. Nothing was on, so I went to the default Disney channel and that movie the Cheetah Girls was on. Am now highly inspired. In fact, after this, I am going to go directly into my backyard and shove my dog into a big hole in the ground and see how long it takes the entire city of Houston to get to my house. I should probably do my hair though, as it’s bound to be breaking news.

--ladyspeak in a Friends Only post.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
fritters

Classes are definitely back in session

aromenis expresses her annoyance at people who can't talk quietly.

"Dear Loudass Girl in the Union Computer Lab:

Honey, this lab is small SO YOU DON'T NEED TO SHOUT. *Especially* if the person you're talking to is all of one foot away. There is a problem if I, being a complete stranger sitting here for less than an hour, know not only your COMPLETE sexual history, but ACTUALLY KNOW YOUR EXES BY NAME. I don't *care* if David has a dick that won't quit, I don't *care* if you wanna do it til the sun comes up, THIS IS A FRICKIN COMPUTER LAB. Please, your gossip makes me nauseous and I think the guy sitting next to me wants to kill you.

Love,
Ann

PS - Michael didn't dump you because he has commitment issues, he dumped you because you are the MOST AURALLY OFFENSIVE HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET. Maybe if you drop your voice down to a throaty whisper, or better yet, NOT TALK AT ALL, he'll come back. But David sounds like fun, too."

Internet ridiculous

(no subject)

In the comments of this post on mock_the_stupid

witherwings7:
it is, in fact, George W Bush, not Stalin, who is president of the United States at the moment.

What's the difference? J\k but still ;)

active_apathy:
Reports suggest that Stalin was in possession of:

1. Brain x 1
2. Literacy x 1
3. Independent thought x 1
4. Assassinated political opponents x ?



This just amuses me on so many levels. Always fun to mock the current president idiot-in-charge.
Tania pratfall
  • tania

(no subject)

tengukun, from a locked post, with permission:

So I had a lesbian sex dream the other night.

No, don't get excited. It was overrated at best. I would have expected my gay dreams to involve Angelina Jolie or someone hawt, but instead I got a 300 lbs bulldyke that looked like Chris Farley. ~_~;;

Bulldyke: *husky voice* Who's your daddy?
Crow: C_C;; You, apparently.

But whatever. We started to get into it, when I randomly glanced over at the window and there's my mom with binoculars.

.....

At which point I woke up with a jolt and a shudder, completely not-horny.

I swear my subconscious hates me.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
po3 doll//calm

(no subject)

avdi, on energy drinks in this post:

These energy drinks that are all the rage these days don't so much energize as they do reanimate. Into the sleep-deprived body of the drinker they install a demonic mockery of life, effectively turning a corpse into a twitching corpse.

Hee.
  • Current Music
    Crystal Method - Born Too Slow
Shock
  • libram

(no subject)

toujiron: Okay, so just before she left for class this morning, Marissa and I finally tried the jones Soda Holiday Pack. Turkey & Gravy soda, Green Bean Casserole soda, Mashed Potatoes & Butter soda, Cranberry soda, and Fruitcake soda.

Every single one of them is absolutely disgusting. XD We paid almost fifty bucks for this shit. And somehow, it's worth it.

The others are just nasty in general, but the mashed potato stuff actually tastes like mashed potatoes. It nearly made me throw up on the spot. XD NASTY STUFF.

I've got the good stuff.

I want to start hanging around outside gyms and Weight Watchers wearing a trench coat and stop people as they come out of there. "Psst. Hey." Look around carefully; open one side of the coat. "Want to buy a rice crispies treat? The first bite's free."

For an extra treat and a higher price, I'll have them with chocolate chips, too.
~neversremedy here.
Caroline Trentini

(no subject)

This is one of the times when the comments on a metaquote turns up another gem - kind of a two for one offer. In response to this

The war in Iraq is almost exactly like getting your dick stuck in a Chinese Finger Puzzle. There's no way out, and everyone is laughing at you.

from liddle_oldman, there was this exchange:

silent_sybil: ... and there was no reason for your dick to be anywhere near that finger puzzle in the first place.

van: Perhaps a Bush enticed it there?

through the window

(no subject)

   metaphor123 describes what he’s been up to today:

9.00am.
Created universe about five minutes ago; 'apparent' age, 4.5 billion years. Gave everyone intact memories of childhood etc. Unhappy with speed of light - may revise.

   Read about the rest of his day here. Work safe.

   

thoughtful

Ipod bribery

First post from a lurker:
In reply to one of my many posts about how the Ipod and its various incarnations are constantly on the front page of the New York Times web edition (surely there must be some monetary bribing going on), artdavis had this to say:

Your subsciption now integrated into OSX... The Big Apple iTimes!

(no subject)

Over in ohnotheydidnt: At a sleepover when she was a kid, Ashanti (the singer) and her friends played "light as a feather, stiff as a board." She is now convinced the occult is coming after her.

jujubes78 believes in the occult-slumber party connection:

And then we chanted over this bowl of water... and it turned into a magical liquid, and when i put my sleeping friend's hand in it, she like, totally peed her pants!! I <3 The Occult!!!!
spotlight

(quoted with permission from a locked post)

When ahneta talks about art:

I wrote that my interpretation of SuperLambBanana, "or SLB, as I will jauntily abbreviate it", was that it was a foreshadowing of the future of genetic engineering: "one day we will amalgamate the main course and dessert in one easy-to-rear animal".

(picture for reference behind cut)
Collapse )
  • Current Music
    2004 Movie Soundtrack - All I Ask of You (Reprise)
Thrilling Heroics

As promised to Kate...

Not metaquotes-able, but deal. The following exchange occurred during lunchtime today.

Kate (on California seceding from the Union): We'd be like the teenage daughter that moves out of the house but comes back to raid the refrigerator and do laundry.
Me: Hell, my aunt goes to my grandparents' house to raid the refrigerator and do laundry, and she's 55.
Kate: YES! We can be the 55-year-old aunt!

My brother had seven teeth pulled today. I came home during 4th period, just in time to help my mom dress him and brush his teeth, and nearly carry him to the car. The reason for his incapacitation was that the dentist directed him to take a rather large dose of Valium an hour before the surgery, and it knocked him out almost completely. As he was going down he stumbled around the house uttering monosyllabic exclamations and otherwise mumbling to himself. Then he collapsed on the couch, raised his head and slurred, "Now I know why they abuse this stuff." And off to la-la land he went. I'd be interested in seeing what this kid's like when he's drunk.

Auditions went well. I doubt I got a part, mainly because I don't project well and I lost my focus, as I have a lamentable tendency to do. But my scream kicked ass, I am proud to say. And in any case, if I'm not cast, I'm still doing tech. What what!

On a happy note: I woke up this morning feeling like shit, but somewhere during third period it alleviated enough for me to ride home on my bike and eat a banana. Now I'm feeling almost like my old self again, although my gut is still complaining a bit.

Tomorrow I get to go for blood tests at 8:00 in the morning. I hate having blood taken, I really do, but the tech is quite competent and I've accepted that checking cholesterol is a necessary part of life. So that's that.
Benedick

(no subject)

gale_storm in a post here about her problems uploading files this morning:

My connection would suddenly get dropped, I'd reconnect and transfer about three files, then it would get dropped again. Or the FTP client would crash. Delightful fun all around. It went a little like this:

Gale: (uploads three files)
Server: (disconnects) Ha!
Gale: (reconnects and uploads three more files)
Server: (disconnects) Double ha!
Gale: (reconnects and uploads three more files)
Server: (disconnects) The number of files you may upload shall be no more than three, so sayeth me.
Gale: (reconnects and uploads three more files) Come on.
Server: (disconnects) Told you.
Gale: (reconnectsand uploads three more files) Please?
Server: (disconnects) I fart in your general direction.
Gale: (reconnects and uploads four files) I thought you said I couldn't do more than three?
Server: (disconnects) I had something in my eye.
FTP Client: (crashes)
Gale: (starts up client again, reconnects and uploads one file) Come on, please.
Server: (disconnects) Displease me again, petty human, and I'll start deleting them.
Gale: (reconnects and mutters curse words in at least three languages)
Server: (hangs indefinitely)
FTP Client: (crashes)
Mistful Dreams

"Qui ont bien plus de mystere que la lumiere de la lune..."

This will totally only be appreciated by those who have seen/heard Notre-Dame de Paris, but--

I wrote a Fleur-de-lys/Esmeralda drabble, here. erinpuff commented on it, remarking that she wished there had been "OOC girlsnogging". I assured her there would be in a future installment, and that I had already found a way to justify it.

To which she replied, ...please tell me she's not going to snog Esmeralda's corpse. O_o Only Quasimodo can do that..

Well, it was hysterical at the time.
  • Current Music
    Vivre - Notre-Dame de Paris