Metaquotes

indriya, as found here.

Post subject name: Thailandalicious

What it's like to go through PMS
by toastedtuna

    My favorite part of the 28 day cycle is when menstruation is trying to get started, and I get the whole 'I'm gaining weight but still need to eat everything in sight damn these cramps anyway hey are you going to eat that I wish this thing would get rolling already so I can stop checking to see if it's here and why didn't I buy that chocolate cake yesterday leave me alone can't you see I'm crying over the fact that you left the twist tie off the bread again damn these pants won't zip looks like I'll just wear sweats for the next week why are these lame Jello Pudding Snacks the only chocolate in the house no give it to me I'll eat it damn these cramps anyway no I'm not crying about the bread you insensitive clod I'm mad because you went to Taco Bell and couldn't even bother to run to the liquor store next door and get me a candy bar and damn these cramps anyway Jesus I'm 38 years old and still getting zits WTF... thing.

Heh, could you imagine moving into a fandom housing estate: you'd have militant OTPers knocking on peoples doors with leaflets Jehovas Witess style, the canon purists on the corner complaining about the dreadful racket those slashy smut writers across the road kept making, and of course those fickle crossover fans who can't be bothered to move in on a permanent basis, and so sleep on other people's fandom!couches.

- dreya_uberwald in lower_tadfield, in this thread.

from this post by tanah:

amaze your friends! gall your enemies!

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[In regards to the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum Celebrity Nativity Edition:]

....it seems silly to get into a tizzy over something as harmless as a waxwork nativity scene. If anyone should have had a problem, it should have been those who really do worship at the altar of celebrity. Consider the following:

- Why no celebrity portrayal of the infant Jesus? Why not Verne Troyer of Mini-Me fame or Julia Robert’s baby Phinnaeus?
- Why Prince Philip amongst a group of world leaders? I mean, really, what’s he do?
- Speaking of world leaders – George W. Bush as a wise man? Huh?
- There’s no more appropriate angel that Kylie Minogue, but why not portray her in one of her clingy, rubbery concert outfits? I may not convert, but I’d start believing in angels, boy howdy.

-- docnuke

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petshopboy1983 writes in his almost always funny LJ, a checklist against...
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Courtesy of bisky.

There is this ... amusing Italian pr0n movie called "Hamlet". And, yes, it is *that* Hamlet, just done with more naked people and explicit sex than one sees in the stage version.

The version we have is dubbed in English, and there's one line: "I want to make you moo like a cow."

ETA: If you spray a lightbulb with water just right wrong, it explodes. ... I did not know this.

-- firesignwriter

Quoted with permission: stroppy_prof's comment in this post in dot_gimp_snark about people who say stupid things when they find out she has MS:

"And while I'm about it, no, I don't 'look disabled'. But then, you don't look like a moron. Funny, that."

setissma is having a bad day. After inhaling a soda, she points out that

The worst bit is, searing nasal pain does not actually make the low point of my day.

delusory:

Um, seriously, dude. Typing at a keyboard is nothing like violently hanging up the phone on someone: the person you are typing to cannot sense how violently you press down on the keys. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU END YOUR TYPING STORM WITH A NICE, EMPHATIC "WHACK!" It does nothing, trust me.

sclerotic_rings in customers_suck trying to explain to a parent that it must have been her children who used her credit cards to pay for long distance calls and new ringtones for their phones:

I not only pulled Occam's Razor from its scabbard but waved it over my head, screaming "Blood and souls for my lord Arioch!"; what more do you want?

From a locked post (my post, namely), in regards to the game 'Pimp: The Backhanding' combined with a red mage costume for a con:

Forsooth, mine homie! Whyfor dost thou present thineself entirely upwards in mine grill? --plasticchimera

[x-posted to ubergeeks and metaquotes]

From murnkay

Ok, who wants to print up a bunch of black stickers with white text that says "This is not an exit" and put them on pay phone receivers all over?

And see who gets the joke.

[Edit: http://www.livejournal.com/~murnkay/699536.html]

lazypenguiness in childfree community...


"And I really started to accept the fact I'd never be in a relationship because want I wanted would not exist, since guys are just as bad as girls about the "OMG, I want a boy and a girl." (which always makes me think... "geez, it's not pokemon, you don't HAVE to collect them all)."

In response to this picture:

Memorial services for Wiley E. Coyote, super genius, will be held at 8am on January 13th at Acme Funeral Co.

-33mhz,

brooding_soul waxes lyrical about his favourite euphemism for, ahem, enjoying his own company.

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He *is* awesome :D

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And unrealted, genkischuldich writes:

From now on, the BBC are going to handle complaints using this chart:

Do you know what the show is about?

Yes, campaigners have told me everything I need to know to complain about this show.
->You have no case. Please try again later.

Yes.
->Continue.

Have you actually seen the show in question?

No, but I'm going to bombard you with 47,000 letters and calls anyway.
->You have no case. Please try again later.

Yes.
->Continue.

At what point did you become offended?

From the moment after I heard the warning all the way through to the end, two hours later.
->You have no case. Please try again later.

I accidentally tuned in half-way through. Also, I don't own a TV guide in any form.
->Congratulations! You are eligible to file a complaint! Alternatively, you may threaten everyone's families involved and bring a lawsuit.

shrike posts on mock_the_stupid about a young man who highly opposed seatbelt laws and who, ironically, died because he was not wearing a seatbelt.

Amusing comments ensue:

"I love that he says 'only' 6100 lives are saved by seatbelts every year. Because 6100 is such a tiny tiny number. Why, I could fit that many people into my living room! I killed 6100 people with an axe last year - fortunately, no one noticed! I have 6100 toes, I think I shall go buy dainty footwear!"
—maryavatar

"The second article quoted him: 'There seems to be a die-hard group of non-wearers out there who simply do not wish to buckle up no matter what the government does. I belong to this group.'

As it turns out, they are actually a die-easy group."
—rachelmap

kazumi here:

As usual, it was 12.30 last night and I was writing a paper but all I could think about was SEX. If this paper were about SEX, I'd get an A+. In conclusion... SEX. Yup. Being a seventeen-year-old is wonderful. How about some more SEX to get your attention?

Now I've heard you can get TV dinners featuring eel on Buford, but I'm never that hard-up for eel.

--pacotelic on acquring unusual meat in the atlanta area.

and on the same thread:

i cook rabbit pretty often here in atlanta. and always for easter sunday dinner.

--laurent_atl