It rained a couple days ago, and now we're ankle deep in mud. There was three inches in the latrines. Not only is merely going to the bathroom a chore, just getting there requires a production. The mud is gooey and makes sucking noises when you pull your foot out.
Oh, great. They want to count heads because we're in a war zone. Later....
So, before the luck runs out, I would like to just put it out there that I would like a guaranteed job in September, $10,000, and a boyfriend with a hot accent. Thanks.
--schuyler has had a string of awesome luck.
From a comment iamshake made on a locked post:
How do hedgehogs mate? I mean...OW. And how do Mommy hedgehogs give birth to babies? It's hard enough squeezing a marble out of a pinhole, but if the marble is covered in sharp things...*shudder*
I'm picturing THAT hedgehog conversation...
"Not tonight dear, it's only been 6 months since 6 needle-covered gumballs tore their way out of my hedge-gina."
According to www.belief.net Pat Tillman is the most inspiring person of 2004.
You really can't argue with that but...guess who else joins the ranks of Curt Schilling and guys like Christopher Reeve...A RACE HORSE! SMARTY JONES MADE THE LIST! A HORSE A GODAMN HORSE! HOW THE HELL IS INSPIRATIONAL! LOOK AT HIM RUN IN A CIRCLE AND EAT A BUNCH OF OATS! I THINK I'LL GO ON A HUMANITARIAN MISSION!
"With their sharp, bony back plates and spiked tails, stegosaurs have great difficulty when making love. The male quickly learns that becoming an adult involves pain and a fair amount of blood. Among the more promiscuous females it became fashionable to file their sharp parts down until they became smooth, but their conservative elders considered this the mark of the harlot ... more."
-- thelittleshadow, in which she also details just how much she thinks about the impending zombie plague and her according preparations.
Cut for stupidity, grammar abuse, and plain offensiveness. Includes my original comment she's replying to,
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I think it's the lard and mayonaise sandwich that gets me every time.
I have realized that zombies are my #1 end-of-the-world scenario.~3jane here.
I live in a geologically stable area, far from oceans and major centres which could be stuck by nukes/terrorism/mass riots/likely invasion. But, see, it only takes a few walking-dead people to wreck a lot of havoc. I figure if 10% of the local population (roughly 220,000) was zombie-fied ... I'd be fucked. Then all the people who live in gated communities would laugh their asses off at me. Unless they were zombies too. Then they wouldn't be able to get out and I could laugh at them a bit, because I really hate those gated communities.
I lost a bit of sleep last night to a Resident Evil-inspired nightmare. This is interesting, as the game didn't scare me nearly as much as it annoyed me. I'd understand if my nightmare involved a strict, arbitrary inventory limit, but I guess nearly getting mauled by the evil dead isn't very pleasant, either.
Though I suppose it's funnier if you've played the game... *shrug* So, in case you think that's lame, I'll give you this one (from the same person) too, on his baccalaureate:
I would like to know why it is that when I hear the minister pray, "May God give you superhuman strength," my mind immediately inserts, "and X-ray vision."
Well, I found them amusing, anyway. Okay, so I'm a dork. *slinks away*
Ah brain, shall I compare thee to a manly roll in the hay? Thou art more porny and filled with smut.
*goes back to lurkerville*
From rolypolypony, which sparked a huge debate in her journal, but mostly just made me piss myself laughing...
Any day can be made better by a full 15% by getting the chance to roar like a dinosaur at a child you don't know.