December 24th, 2004

[Contemplation] Deep silent complete
  • jesskat

(no subject)

a_hollow_year: I'm famished.
havelock: Good thing we have oatmeal.
a_hollow_year: Wah!
havelock: We can't afford to eat out every day for two weeks.
a_hollow_year: Why not?
havelock: Because someone isn't pulling their weight around here.
a_hollow_year: ...
havelock: ...
havelock: Do you see what I did there? How I just guaranteed that I wouldn't get any for two weeks?
a_hollow_year: Oh yeah. I see what you did there.

-posted from a_hollow_year's journal

Because this just demanded to be qouted . . . or archived . . . or . . . or something!

Well, in the most jaw-dropping mpreg I ever saw, in which Paul McCartney (Beatle era) was impregnated by a Sue, her ovum mixed with his sperm, went back into his penis, traveled up into his abdominal cavity and just attached itself to random organs and started growing.

The baby was delivered, BTW, in a three-day operation in which the other Beatles and the Sue sat around the operating room and ordered takeout. (Alas, I can't provide a link, because the archive it was hosted on seems to have gone out of business).

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ljuser=sailormac>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<i>Well, in the most jaw-dropping mpreg I ever saw, in which Paul McCartney (Beatle era) was impregnated by a Sue, her ovum mixed with his sperm, went back into his penis, traveled up into his abdominal cavity and just attached itself to random organs and started growing.

The baby was delivered, BTW, in a three-day operation in which the other Beatles and the Sue sat around the operating room and ordered takeout. (Alas, I can't provide a link, because the archive it was hosted on seems to have gone out of business).</i>
-<ljuser=sailormac>, <a href="" target="_new">here</a>
  • Current Music
    God Help the Outcasts-Heidi Mollenhauer
agent may is unimpressed

Merry Xmas from a Brit-in-Australia!

To all of you who celebrate Christmas - have a happy, merry or utterly-pissed Christmas. To all of you who celebrate something else, have a good one, whatever it is. To all of you who think the season's greetings should be changed to "Happy Holidays" or something PC and non-discriminating, bollocks to the lot of you. I'm a bloody atheist and I'm celebrating Christmas, so why can't you?

Mind you, I plan to celebrate Christmas recovering from a monumental hangover in front of the telly and season 3 of Farscape, so I'm hardly going for the traditional approach.

--philf talks about his summer holiday plans.
PR || Cosmos

Here's a last-minute Christmas recipe!

Note: to foster the appropriate German Christmas atmosphere, put, er, Wumpscut on your CD player while you make the cookies.

1. Bring molasses and spices to a boil in a pot.
2. Add baking soda. Watch in mild consternation as mixture foams up to top of pot and acquires strange souffle consistency.
3. Drop in pieces of butter, 3 at a time. Watch them vanish into depths of brown foam goo. Stir randomly and hope unseen butter is completely melted before adding more.
4. Mix in one large egg, then flour and salt.
5. Knead dough. Become strangely and unhealthily fixated on kneading soft, scented, warm dough. Mmm, knead it a little harder, baby. That's right, just like that... ooh, I'm melting in your hands. Or maybe that's just the butter.
6. Roll out unnaturally soft, flaccid dough and cut shapes using "charmingly" misshapen star cookie cutter.
7. Carefully move cut dough onto parchment sheets, further deforming cookies in process. Slowly realize that overall holiday effect has gone from Trans-Siberian Orchestra to Limp Bizkit album. If you get my drift.
8. Bake. Watch cookies poof and blob.
9. Attempt to remove cookie sheets from oven, with much difficulty. Do the Dance of Help Help, I'm Broiling My Face Off. Cool cookies. Eat.

  • Current Mood
    bouncy bouncy

(no subject)

Taken from quovadis27 about seeing people he knew from high school with engagement announcements.

I sneer at everyone who appears in the Engagement Announcements section of our crappy paper, as if it's some kind of personal affront. It's always either the hopeless romantic who would have married a ficus tree if it were willing, or it's the one who causes you to stop and shriek, "SHE graduated?!", the one who was smoking Marlboro Reds on the swingset in fourth grade. And they're always standing next to some industry standard G-funk, wearing a thick titanium chain under a t-shirt that doubles as a tablecloth, and a dark, omnipresent penumbra on his upper lip. I'm tempted to grab some microwave popcorn and turn on Divorce Court, expecting them to materialize any moment with three bratty "whoopsies" in tow.

It's Christmas Eve, and I'm sniping at happily married couples with bitter, semantic potshots. This is what my life has been reduced to.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Seriously.
  • divabat

(no subject)

othercat battles with FireFox:

OtherCat: Okay, what the *hell* is wrong with you, that you don't see , #299C39 and #218429 as green?

FireFox: Dumbass, those ARE green.

OtherCat: Then why aren't the table borders green?

FireFox: I dunno, maybe it's your html.

OtherCat: Why do you have a problem with my html, IE doesn't have a problem with my html.

FireFox: I'm not IE, duh.

OtherCat: *glares* Okay, then, why don't I see if any colors work...(inserts new colors into the html)



FireFox: Nope, still gray.

OtherCat: Okay, maybe it's the tags. What's this? < BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#299C39" >

FireFox: The hell? Why're you putting "LIGHT" on the end of BORDERCOLOR?

OtherCat: Um? Because there's two colors, one LIGHT, the other DARK?

FireFox: Don't bother with that, just put in BORDERCOLOR, I'll take care of the rest.

OtherCat: Okay. < BORDERCOLOR > Hey, it worked!

FireFox: Duh
  • marumae

Serious quoteage

Whilst describing her final opinions on Metal Gear Solid 3, kinneas stated this (in this post):

"What you've come to love you must fight to not hate."

I personally loved that quote and I thought I'd share, thinking it was quoteable.
  • Current Music
    Enya-Shepherd's Moon album

first time poster.. this was to odd to let go

in reply to this in my own lj:

i am proving to be much more anal and stressful in regards to cleaning and unpacking than my roomate is, i admire her for being able to sit and take it easy.

caprinus saw it tasteful to reply this:

That's three months of sitting in the living room watching CSI or hiding in her own, quite orderly room, cybering on IRC, while studiously ignoring my all-encompassing failure as a house-keeper -- a mess of such epic proportions that to even acknowledge its existence would have surely taken her sanity, sort of like admitting there really IS a monster in your closet and discovering not only is it a monster, it's an unholy union of a ghostly gelatinous Cthulhurhinoceros covered in fimbriated leeches slowly, suckingly digesting a still-living, writhing and silently screaming mime, whose joined-at-the-testicles Siamese twin is a clown and has just died from 3-rd degree bacon grease fire burns; and all this while Celine Dion sings "God bless us everyone" from under the bed.

and yes, i really do listen to Celine Dion during the holidays. that is all.

  • Current Music
    king arthur soundtrack
  • kimera

from madkrazyghetto:

I led a very repressed childhood in which I thought "idiot" was a bad word, and didn't start to swear until January of my senior year of high school. I've got a lot of ground to make up here, and I fully intend to before I'm old and can't say "bitch" without getting electroshocked or something.

On cold, and how we don't have such things where I come from.

In one of my 'WTFOMGCOLD' posts, a Canadian far more accustomed to the concept of 'cold' (and its bastard children, sleet and snow) than I makes fun.

Alex: Hey, look, it's -56 fahrenheit here and we have three feet of snow. That's pretty cool.
Clouds: *snows on America*
Alex: WTF mates?

He has a point. But dude. I'm from Houston.
  • Current Music
    Apocalyptica - Enter Sandman

(no subject)

Originally posted to my journal because I forgot to send it here instead. Here goes.
conuly is no stranger to LJ drama.

And now... the most dramatic post of the day...

Are you ready?

You sure?


Well... okay... I'd better cut this to avoid offending anybody. Hold on...


(cut text=Prepare for the flames, people...)

Okay, so, how do you know when a turkey is defrosted?


Okay, I just wanted to make sure you'd answer the question. But seriously. How do you know?
moments before the wind

(no subject)

snowfox090 in bad_rpers_suck, about the abundance of characters that are declared Japanese because it's omgz teh kewliez!!11!

Japanese people are not ubercool superhuman studmuffins. They are not faster than a speeding bullet. They do not leap tall buildings in a single bound. They are not vengeance, they are not the night. Most people don't daydream about being them. They do not spit acid when they're angry. They are not made of blood ruby studded platinum with inlays of finest ivory.
Starry Night
  • grail76

(no subject)

"The fuck-buddy paradox: Two consenting adults who are not in a relationship per se who engage in carnal acts on a semi-regular basis are fuck-buddies. When the carnal acts become acts of love, all rules and regs are out the window and the two consenting adults usually end up hating each other due to the forces of nature that are keeping them out of a relationship. In other words, it'a all fun and games until someone is curled into the fetal position on the floor crying."
touchofscarlet in a much larger piece.

Egg... nog...

Found in laney_y's journal.

Having a feeling there will be many christmas stories on lj today.
The way my sister makes EGGNOG.

Put egg, milk and sherry into cup.

Stir a little.

Ready to serve!!!

And guess what it tasted like? Raw egg and milk.
Must drown mouth in beer now.

Poor laney_y. ::pats on shoulder::
  • Current Music
    Tux Racer theme
santa hat

(no subject)

The rather wonderful sarahtales recounts her tale of a trip to NY:

I found a great hostel near Central Park, however, and went for a walk
in Central Park. Where I saw many friendly squirrels. Later, people
responded to the news that I had walked alone in twilight in Central
Park with 'you could have been raped!' and I thought to myself, wow. I
didn't know the squirrels were that friendly.
Bad form, American squirrels.

Read more delightful happenings here
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

linzeems shares her holiday plans

Anyway - merry Night Before Christmas. I would say Merry Christmas now, but I got nothing to do tomorrow so I'll be here. Vidding the Luthors, most probably. Nothing says Merry Christmas like the perpetuation of visual incest between ficticious characters.</p>

I am so going to Hell. *