December 21st, 2004

billie glasses // fiery_twilight

And you thought your days at camp were interesting...

Quoted with permission from a locked post by leelee_cakes.

So, we used to have Harry Potter day at camp. Everyone dresses up, and someone is Voldemort and you have to go to stations to get ingredients for the potion to kill him. One time, "Voldemort" had to pee, so he went across the field to the port-a-potty and the kids saw and chased him cause they're always chasing him and screaming "Wingardium leviosa!" So he went into the stall, but part of his cape got stuck in the door and the kids were pulling on it and yelling at him.

And he opened the door and said "THE DARK LORD NEEDS TO PEE!"

Even super evil villains have bodily needs.
  • Current Music
    I, Detective - CourtTV

sillypants shares her unique views on international politics.

At dinner with mal we decided it would have been cool if Kerry had won the US elections, because, seeing as he plays bass, he could have started a band with Tony Blair. If Mark Latham had become prime minister he could have been the drummer (Miriam suggested later that he would have worn his tie has a headband). Gerhard Schroeder could have been the keyboardist, and Jacques Chirac and Silvio Berlusconi could have fought over who got to be the lead singer. Their support band could have been Putin and the Putinauts, which would have been the entire Duma fighting over what instruments they got to play and trashing the stage, while Putin stood at the back looking really shat off."

From this entry, which is also doubleplusgood for mentioning that I stayed in a hotel in Sussex Gardens which was painted the most lurid blue and green imaginable. It looked like Andy Warhol ate a bad quiche and then vomitted.
  • Current Music
    Queen Adreena - Siamese Almeida

(no subject)

At the age of thirteen or so I used to ride my bike around the parking lot of the school wearing hotpants and doing wheelies over the speed bumps. The resident nuns did not take my presence with Christian good humor and would chuck handfuls of pebbles from the window boxes to encourage me to leave. I would ride hell-bent through a rain of tiny rocks laughing hysterically at their ancient embittered wrath.

-- zeppo (whole post here)

me - with gun
  • shinga

OMG!1 :O

applespicy reveals some shocking news, omgwtf!1:

OMG the sixth book JKR wrote it HARRY POTTER OMG OMG OMG wow have you seen this on your flist already?!?!?!? OMG SPAMMITY SPAMSPAM SPAMMY SPAM SO DELICIOUS omg omgwtf omg!!1!!1! OMG UNDERAGE ADOLESCENTS SO HOT OMG spammy spammity spam!!!
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly
girl reporter: Lois Lane

Oh, don't we all?

It's a really old post, but I was archiving the other day, and it cracked me up:


kerrypolka: Were [Harrison Ford and Diane Lane] ever in a movie together? Maybe that was Michelle Pfeiffer.

girlwithjournal: Harrison and Diane have sadly never shared the silver screen. Harrison and Michelle were in What Lies Beneath. I like to call celebrities by the first names as if I know them.

That good ol' time religion

From a locked entry by l_c_and_s, with permission.

A couple of the responses to a quiz on religion that made me laugh out loud, and which I thought went well together:

do you think the god(s) are vengeful or nice?
i think they're pretty much like, "dude i don't exist" , "dude, neither do i." , "dude, people are stupid." , "dude, i know."

what would you say to God if you met him/her/them today?
"oh. shit i was wrong wasn't i?"
"fuck. is there a hell then?"
"ah shit."
"*pushes button*"
"*goes to hell*"
  • Current Music
    some annoying tune I can't get out of my head
Amelia Arsenic ♠ nerdy

(no subject)

And today, our lesson is: The difference between Jelly, and Preserves, courtesy of glitterdisastar (locked post, with permission, names changed to protect the blonde)

Random Wise Man:  its called preserves cuz they are stored in an air tight jar that preserves it forever
The Brat:  So jelly can NEVER go bad?
Random Wise Man:  no jeyy can
The Brat:  But your peaches can't?
Random Wise Man:  preserves cant as long the seal isnt broken
Random Wise Man:  as long as i keep it like this
Random Wise Man:  jelly*
The Brat:  But you said it was jelly
The Brat:  But jelly can go bad and the peaches can't

The Brat:  Food is confusing
Random Wise Man:  HOW
The Brat:  Because it's not making sense!
Random Wise Man:  dos grape jelly taste like grape?
The Brat:  It's jelly but it's not jelly.
The Brat:  I don't know!

Collapse )
  • Current Music
    Rammstein - Spieluhr

Teh ANGST!!!1

Because this was just too amusing to pass up. lelola angsts, here.

It's come to my attention that I don't post enough angst. Although I am perfectly content, please allow me to rectify this by posting angsty Linkin Park lyrics in haiku format, turning off comments, and ending this post with the word "goodbye".

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal fear
is how I fall con

fusing what is real
discomfort, endlessly has
pulled itself upon

me distracting re
acting against my will I
stand beside my own

reflection it's haunt
ing how I can't seem to find
myself again my

walls are closing in
I've felt this way before so
insecure... goodbye~!
  • Current Music
    VNV Nation - Solitary (deathstar Disco by Covenant)

The true meaning of Christmas...

puddlesofun really likes spending Christmas with his family:

I'm spending Christmas with my family. I like that I do this every year. I like it so much, that if Kate Winslett were to say "hey, howsabout having sex with me on Christmas day?" I'd say "No, I have a girlfriend, but even if I didn't, I spend Christmas day with my family each and every year. Also, you were more attractive before you lost all that weight and went blonde."
Even if the Dresden Dolls came up to me and said "hey, we think that you're the coolest person we've ever met, would you like to come hang out and jam with us on Christmas day?" I would say "No thank you. I am spending that day with my family. And anyway, I would feel like a third wheel jamming with you two. Or possibly a fifth wheel, if the metaphorical vehicle were four wheeled to start and not a bike. Damn. You'd think, that for some figure of speech to claw it's way up to becoming a cliche, it would have to be popular, and hence pretty good, or at least simple and easy to use. But no. Sorry, I can't do it.
Brian Viglione and Amanda Palmer (speaking in unison): "That is okay. We have decided that you are not that cool after all." (they walk away arm in arm).
Mistful Dreams

At least Sues are good for something...

jean_prouvaire, in this thread on pottersues, regarding an Elven Mary-Sue who possessed a golden eagle named Glorfëa:

"Glorfëa," rather like "Bjork," sounds to me like some kind of unpleasant bodily function. "The cat just bjorked up a hairball on the carpet!" "Ugh, excuse me, I think I'm gonna have glorfëa. Must have been that suspicious-looking potato salad."
  • Current Music
    Something from Japanese Blue Cast Les Miserables