December 17th, 2004

the true otp

(no subject)

coocoocthulhu was musing about Harry Potter couplings in this post and came up with an excellent theory: Harry Potter as Friends.

...Tom Selleck will make a series of guest appearances as Professor Snape, whom Hermione dates for quite some time. Cho Chang is the lovely Janice, whose constant wailing and sobbing irritate the group to no end. Pansy Parkinson is Neville's snobby ex-wife! Parvati and Lavender are raising a son together! Ron!... does stuff! And so on and so forth.

The whole entry is priceless. Go read it! It could possibly be considered spoiler-ish, as she discusses events from Friends and the pairing theory JKR recently shot down, so if you want to stay out of the loop, don't read it.
agent may is unimpressed

On the banking system

Finally got confirmation that I do, indeed, have a bank account and that I have a small pittance of cash in it.

However, my branch decided not to go ahead and ask whether or not I wanted an ATM card with my account, so I never got one.

I don't have checks. I don't have an ATM card. I love their sense of whimsy. I hope they love mine when I show up with a chainsaw this Christmas.


I love this girl.
K: Hey Stupid!, K: The Unholy Duo, Dogmatix, K: Lesbian Again, K: Laughing Out Loud

(no subject)

Do they let you keep your wisdom teeth after the surgery? You could get them laminated and do crafts with them. Hmm, there's an idea. Maybe an exciting birthday present for someone. Give the gift that keeps on chewing.

[and later]

slinka, either you've got a twin wondering around the Eaton Centre, or I'm the guy that nearly elbowed you in the head during the lunatic crush by the escalator. I would have said 'hi,' but by that point I was entirely too insane to do much but jibber and sling feces in my quest for freedom.

-- dexfarkin: whole post here

  • libram

(no subject)

evilsausage: Cretin: Hello, my bus is late. Where is it?

Me: I'm going to need you to hang on, please. [I place her on hold & call Dispatch. A dispatcher informs me that her bus is a block away at a light. I go back to her]

Me: Ma'am, your bus is a block away at a light.

Cretin: He's a block away on the right?

Me: No, he's a block away stopped at a light.

Cretin: Well why did he stop?

Me: Because if he drove through a red light light he'd cause an accident.
Jubilee (By Foxglove_Icons)

Dude. It's TRUE. o.O

Randomly, I have had this theory for a while that for fangirl/slashers, the pointless crossover PWP serves the same purpose as the pointless crossover team-up does for comic book fanboys. You guys know how it goes-- nobody ever meets and is like, "Hey, how's it going." "Fine, and you?" "Can't complain." No, they always have to fight. ALWAYS.

Sometimes it's because they mistake each other for the bad guys, sometimes the real bad guys are *forcing* them to fight each other, sometimes one set of good guys is undercover, sometimes it's amnesia or brainwashing, and a *lot* of the time it's just for *no good reason at all*. Why are they fighting? Well, um, uh, for no plot related reason, but BECAUSE THE FANBOYS WANT THEM TO and the writers know it. Hell, because the *writers* want to know *who would kick whose ass* if Wonder Woman fought Storm. Really, does it make *sense* that Wonder Woman and Storm would ever fight? It really doesn't! They'd be far more likely to be friends and have interesting conversations over a latte and scone. Which is why it always needs to be giant cosmic alien plot devices appearing and saying, "Look, we'll destroy the universe unless you guys fight to the death." (Yes, that actually happened. Yes, Wonder Woman and Storm had to fight. No, actually, Storm won. I know, I know. As Te would say: shyeah.)

-- liviapenn (full amusing/interesting post here)
Her kind

Hello; longtime reader, first time post

The often quoteable melsner speaking on the subject of the movie adaptation of Phillip Pulman's His Dark Materials series.

"Yes, they're planning to remove "anti-religious" themes from the movies. So no church, God or religious themes. For those who don't know, it's like trying to do Tolkien's Trilogy without mentioning jewelry or non-humans."
  • Current Music
    Carol of the Bells - Mannheim Steamroller

St. Stephen's Day Murders

lordavon explores the crisis of non-crisis-ness:
I realized the other day nothing in life prepares you for a functional family. All your books growing up teach you what to do or what to think about if your parents divorce or die or you move or if everyone hates you or if you are adopted or aliens abduct you or whatever. And then there are support groups all over the place for that. So you get a good guideline of how to be dysfunctional.

No one teaches you how to survive a functional family. It's weird. It's almost abnormal. There's something wrong if your family is...normal.

I think Paul might have finally discovered the truth...

My friend allenhill2002 has an epiphany:

"Anyways, after getting my tongue pierced I came upon a great truth. I realized that God hates me because I'm straight. He made me gay and he's now punishing me for going against his will and persuing a heterosexual life.
Some of you may think I'm crazy, but trust me. It makes perfect sense. That's why gay guys are so attracted to me. That's why I'm completely comfortable with my sexuality and have no problems being around gay people. That's why I've had a very LONG dry period.
Now I just have to deside what to do about this. I wonder if I'll get further insight if I get another piercing?"

The sad thing is, I think he's probably right!

(no subject)

agoodshinkickin replies to a post I made about religious evangelism on airplanes:

I ran into one of the Raging Pampheteers on my way back from the airport once. I've seen this particular gentleman at every Sporting/Theatrical/Musical event I've ever attended in the greater Boston area, and up until this particular encounter on an outbound Green Line train, I'd never seen him travel anywhere.

It broke my heart because it shattered the notion that they had some heavenly teleportation device.
starman, cygnus
  • caira

Gah-damn little bratowie...

The inimitable thessalian on fraternity, friendship and sharing a flat with people with dubious musical taste:

Like so many of the men in my life, [name withheld to protect the guilty] is such a good friend, he's like a brother to me. A little brother (despite being five years older than me). A little brother whose very existence causes such vast amounts of irritation at times that you just want to ram his face repeatedly into the carpet until his nose spontaneously combusts under the weight of friction burns and then noogie him into a coma.

Why can't he listen to morbid depressing goth-rock or screaming ultraviolent jack-off metallers like normal people?
  • Current Music
    Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. But, um, a goth version. Yeah.

Further cruelty to gummy bears & Swedish fish...

From this metaquote thread...

lots42 said about Swedish Fish:

Some people SAY it's a candy. I say it is solidified Cthullu sperm.

And canthlian said:

With gummy bears, I am particularly cruel. I get their heads and their butts between my index finger and my thumb, and push them backwards into a spine-cracking position. When their bellies are exposed to me in a gesture of total submission, I put the slightest touch of saliva on it. The saliva quickly starts to break them down, eating them in half from the inside.

I am a bad, bad man.