December 16th, 2004

Kyouya - Outside the Lines

(no subject)

emisi in Mock the Stupid, in response to someone's observations that despite claims otherwise, abstinence does not cure poverty:

You obviously didn't believe in the miracle of Abstinence, where Santa Hymen flies around the world giving presents of money and fame to all the good little virgins. And then your unfertilized eggs or unused sperm turns into a token you can turn in at the Abstinence Clinic for spare change.
  • Current Music
    Moonlight Shadow - DDR 5th Mix
William
  • jdotmi

Don't go into the light!

felisdemens makes a variation on Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About in this public post.


- Light levels. He favors the harsh, blinding glare of a Nazi interrogation chamber. I enjoy a mellow dimness that lends a certain cavelike atmosphere. We compromise by fiddling with the light switches every time we enter a room. Guests are advised to bring protective eyewear, lest their retinas tear loose and flee the apartment sobbing.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Shock
  • libram

(no subject)

inept: In other news, I keep nicking myself on random things. And then bleeding. A lot. I have this pile of tissues covered in blood... it's like I'm a vampire with a cold or something. Weirdest thing ever. Maybe I just have way too much blood, and it's trying to find a way out.

BLOOD: Ahh! It's cramped in here! Everybody push out!!
SKIN: I'M BREAKING NOW
BLOOD: *GUUUUUSSSHHHH*

Haha. Caps lock is NOT YOUR FRIEND. Neither are those little things around your house that JAB you in the SKIN. With sharp bits.

BLOOD: Cottony fresh kleenex! Wheeeeeeee!!!
Fabricati Diem

(no subject)


This reminds me of one of my LJ pet peeves: the promise of bitchiness that doesn't quite deliver.

Watch out! I'm about to get bitchy. Yeah, I'm bitching. I'm ranting, even. Stand back or you'll get burnt by my Bitch Ray! Cause I'm bitching. Any minute now I'm gonna drop the bomb, and you'll all hate me. Are you ready for bitchiness? If you're not, you'd better not friend me, cause if there's one thing I do, it's bitch. I can't help it, I've got to vent. I'm telling it like it is! I am brutally honest. I don't hold back. I let it all hang out. Bitchin'. That's right. It's coming. Any second now. No one will be safe from my internet thrashing! I'm going to scorch the earth! Bitching in 3-2-1...

Okay, guys, please don't jaywalk. You might get hit by a car and that would be a shame.

So, so, I bet you hate me now? Huh? Yeah, that's right, I said it! Jaywalking is bad. It's not safe, much like my scathing journal entries. I bet if you met me in person, you'd beat me with a sack of oranges! Well direct your hate mail here.

-- jess_d_ripper on JF

smokey
  • elorie

How was YOUR day at work?

lupaloo tells about her day at her new dog-grooming job:

Note to Pet Owners:

"If your very large German Shepherd has had projectile diarrhea, it might be a good idea to wait until you know he's better before taking him to the groomer. Or at the very least, please warn the poor groomer that this might happen.

Other adventures today included a large Golden Retriever mix, a shih tzu who could not be stressed AT ALL due to an old neck injury that causes black outs if he whips his head around suddenly. This little fluff ball also could not stand on his own and had to be supported while groomed. Rolly polly little ball of fluff with jello legs and zero stress tolerance. This was fun. Last pup of the day was a Basset hound with ghetto nails. You know, like the kind the cashier at Eckards uses to punch keys on the register from a half a foot away. It was her first grooming experience and she wanted a hug. While sopping wet. Trust me, you haven't lived until you've been tackle hugged by a 50 lb, 1 foot tall dog. Who is sopping wet. That bears repeating."