December 9th, 2004

Brandon :: Wash away all of my sins

Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers...

From my dear friend Jenny's f-locked post, with permission.

(Note: It's nice to see my mom isn't the craziest one out there.)

Mom : Have Ethan get you pregnant and give me the baby, I want one.
Me (williford) : *blinks 23 times* WHAT!
Mom : Yeah! You can go to work, do what you want, and I'll take care of the baby! I want another one but I can't have one.
Me : *makes a face* Who tells this to their daughter? Honestly.
Mom : Your going to do it? Okay great. *walks away and vacums*

*comes back*

Mom : You don't have to keep it from him, just tell him.
Me : *pause* Go away.
  • Current Music
    Squat. I should be watching Aiken's Xmas special I taped!
Sarek of Vulcan

(no subject)

From annathepiper:

...(and especially for spazzkat, who frequently tells me that an 88,000-word book that includes not a single occurrence of the word 'badger' is a sad book indeed), I present the paragraph pitch for my novel--the Badger Edition...:

"Badger Badger of Badger thinks she's as normal as the next badger, and up till now, she's been right. But her badger is about to turn on its badger, for she is the badger of a badger and her badger--and her badger is awakening. Suddenly the badger she's known all her badger is transforming before her badgers. Badgers haunt the mushroom mushroom. Badgers and badgers run loose in the badgers. An old badger who is not what she seems and a young badger running from a SNAKE AAAAAAAH IT'S A SNAKE stand ready to defend Badger--and Badger--from magical badger. She will need those badgers, for the fey badger rising within her is calling her own badger to the Emerald Badger to find her. And kill her."
  • jargon

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throwingstardna, when he isn't doing polical stuff or all pictures (usually of his hot girlfriend), is usually good for a laugh. Recently, regarding the comeback of his mouse problems, he had thus to say:

Since I finally vanquished that little bastard, I have not heard nary a squeak nor a chew, nor found a turd in well over a year. But it seems that crafty little savage has regrouped after training in his little terrorist mouse training camp, and has chosen to once again engage me in battle.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
bisexual

(no subject)

From cirrocoj quoted with permission from this post about Canada's same-sex marriage laws:

Incidentally, here's a recipe for Alberta:
1 cup Texas
1 cup Alabama
2 cups snow
dash of yeeha
12 years of Ralph Klein

1. Blend Texas, Alabama, snow and yehaa until lumpy.
2. Add in Ralph Klein, blending until grotesque.
3. (Optional) Add a pinch of Chinook and/or gorgeous vistas out of pity.
4. Drop into the middle of Canada.
5. Watch the rest of Canada say WTF? a lot.
6. Hear citizens of Texas and Alabama indignantly deny any association with these wingnuts.

(no subject)

My partner in crime wrote:

-Telling Bre why Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey may be the best movie ever:

*"God says 'Station!'! That makes it the best thing EVER!"
*Otherwise quoting the movie, nearly line for line, within ten minutes.
*ME: Okay, so it doesn't have tits. It doesn't need tits. It's that good. God says 'Station!', it transcends tits!
BRE: Wait. You're saying something's better than tits?
ME: Bre. God says 'Station!'! That makes it better than tits. And when I go, "Tits, or this? Tits, or this?" and choose "This", that makes it the best thing EVER.
peace in

:) i love canada

from scorched_earth, the rest here:


3. Rubbing our Canadian awesomeness in your suckah-ass American faces. You see, today our Supreme Court ruled that Ottawa has the right to redefine marriage to include homosexual marriage, and that if a church does like it then no, they don't have to perform the wedding, but yes, they still have to deal with it being legal, mofos! So go forth and don't multiply, all you crazy gays! Go on! Stick it to those conservative sons of bitches by stickin' it to each other.
self

(no subject)

The ever entertaining oh_peccadillo in a thread from minervacat's 5 things post. Today's 5 things are Top Five Least Favorite Holiday Songs.

1. The Dreidel Song. Clearly, a Jew didn't write this song. It is dumb and awful and in a major key AND nobody makes a dreidel out of clay. They go to the Jew Store, where they can ones made out of plastic or wood or glass or chocolate. NOBODY USES A DREIDEL MADE OUT OF CLAY. IT WOULDN'T. FUCKING. DREIDEL.

I need a latke.

(no subject)

fox1013 uses her college education to understand Disney princesses:

And seriously, it must suck to be Belle. She is so much smarter than every other Disney princess. They have those gatherings, to promote Disney things, you know? And they're, like, sitting there, comparing nail polish color. And probably how Charming their Prince is under the sheets. And Belle's, like, curled up with a dogeared copy of something by Foucalt, like, "You can make me be here, you can put it in my contract, but I am not discussing how to look thinner in bed with someone whose biggest claim to fame is that she choked on a poison apple."

(no subject)

Taken from an autobiography excerpt by an autistic person, posted in this journal, which bears repeating because it can just as easily be applied to a whole range of other problems our culture handles very badly.

"This is where I think most attempts to "help" autistic spectrum persons fail. They start from the assumption that the person does not fit in, and then seek to twist the person into some imitation of normalcy — usually at the expense of the autistic spectrum person's sense of self and self-esteem — rather than starting from the position that the person has a role, already does fit in as a critical edge piece of the human puzzle, and seeking to help them develop the tools they need to fill that role effectively. We don't need the skills it takes to be "normal"; we need the skills it takes to be different."

(no subject)

dodgebook, in a locked entry (with permission) about the upcoming film version of His Dark Materials, and the proposed removal of all religious references:

So if I understand this correctly, they will be taking [His Dark Materials], which is essentially a metaphysical gedankenexperiment that excoriates organized religion and incidentally features polar bear armies, antique Texan aeronauts with talking rabbits in their pockets, and half-naked witches flying around against a backdrop of the aurora borealis, and removing all religious references.

Leaving... the polar bears and the aeronauts and the aurora borealis. Hello Coke commercial from the mid-1990s?
Life.

Wear a white ribbon.....

Brilliantly written, whether you agree or not. I like some of his points, especially regarding the Montreal masscre, but wish I could word properly what's wrong with his argument.

~~~
I've never worn a white ribbon, and don't intend to.

I fear the over-simplification that comes from turning a historical crime into an icon; I distrust using that icon as a metaphore for many (or all) of society's ills. And I think using Lepine to stand in for undeniable, day-to-day sexism that does still exist in our society is a good way to blind us to the root cause of violence - which is not only expressed with firearms, but also with road-rage, with vicious words and even with the still-present (though mostly forgotten) threat of anhielation under which we have all lived since 1945.

Violence against women is not a problem.

Violence against women is a symptom......


~~~

ed_rex Read the whole thing here.
  • Current Music
    Garbage - Cherry Lips

(no subject)

Anon
"She's got a milion names and has been kicked out of a million rpgs for being a supreme WTF wrapped in human form."

annabelle_lee
"LOL. She's a WTFBBQ burrito. With crazeh sauce."

sparklehorse
"And a side order of nutjob rice."

Anon
"Don't forget the bugfuck beans!"

Over at the craaaaazzzyyy wank at fandom_wank!