December 3rd, 2004

Whuh Huh?!

(no subject)

[When Athena] sees the birds or the squirrels on the deck, her previous experience On The Importance Of Not Running Into Glass Doors fades from her memory, and she dives for them, only to crack her small, empty skull on the door and staggers back, looking dazed and slightly embarrassed. Athena is a good, sweet, highly affectionate little cat, but she is also dumber than a lobotomized rock. I have personally witnessed her getting lost in an open paper bag. Not only is she the dimmest bulb on the Christmas tree, she's one of those ones that flash intermittently when all the other lights are doing a chaser pattern.

-- ursulav the whole post, an actual mouse is involved...

EDIT: I desperately need to add this comment from telophase:

When I was a kid, we had two cats: Dakota and Vermont. Vermont was the natural hunter while Dakota liked to get petted. After Vermont made her first kill and brought the dead bird to thes creen door, asking Mom to pan-fry it, we praised her, called her a mighty hunter, and disposed of the bird. Dakota was jealous of this attention, it seems, so a few days later Mom heard her calling at the screen door. Mom went to let the cat in and there Dakota proudly stood, large piece of fried chicken in her mouth.

webgodd_s: Heh, I've had my share of cats who were as smart as a box of rocks, with the smart ones taken out.

(no subject)

eruthros reflects on faulty metaphors:

But anyway, the thing that I really wanted to respond to was this:

In her research on gays, for instance, she has written that the "recruitment techniques" of homosexuals rival those of the Marine Corps. The Kinsey paradigm, she holds, created the moral framework that makes such recruitment possible.

Okay, now, I remember being recruited by the Marine Corps, and I can tell you one thing for sure: I never had my own personal homosexual recruiter who called my home and chatted with me about the amazing opportunities available to gay people.
No one ever told me they'd pay for my college education for just four years of commitment as a practicing gay person and ten years of inactive duty with possible recall to gayness should the situation warrant.

Ahhh.. the Merry Giftmas Season

From rabid_wombat rant on holiday shopping

I swear, if I ever hear another shrill-voiced parent screaming their demands for a 'Dora the Explorer playset' (with soothing accompanyment by the shrill and shreiking crotch nugget for said playset) it'll be much too soon. Jeebus, people! Whatever happened to 'Santa's in the process of having his slave-elves mass-produce your favourite trademarked show's merchandice, honey.. He's got a bit of a backorder going, so you may have to wait a bit, m'kay? Here. Have a Yu-gi-oh rifle instead!'

read the rest here
strikethrough: LJ for the fail

And lo, it was good.

tygerr has a theory on the evolution of the Large Family Car:

"...But lo! The children of suburbia grew into the days of their adulthood, and indeed they did live in the shadows of their fathers and mothers, even unto the need for a large vehicle, sufficient to the hauling of children to soccer practice, and also unto causing the transport of the occasional newly-purchased television or load of lumber from the Place Of Shopping even unto their large suburban tract home ("Which is NOT AT ALL like unto our parents' home! Truly!" crieth the children of the Station Wagon in a loud voice.)"

Read the entire thing here.
  • Current Mood
    happy happy

The Clue Bat is calling

From dglenn, on thoughts he's having while watching the noon news:

    "Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance" (opioids naturally produced by the brain -- in fact, the ranter quoted use the phrase "naturally occurring" later in the quote).

    *ahem* So does dessert..

And of course, he's right. Read the whole thing, for a good description of why dessert is actually a recreational drug, and for righteous indignation:

    But I digress. Today's point is that the "OhmyGodpornleadstomasturbationwhichleadstoENDORPHINS" horror reveals that these people are at their core anti-pleasure and/or [expletive]ing ignorant. If I had to put money on it, I'd bet on "both". Call 'em on it. Point out that by their logic they have to ban jogging. And singing hymns in large groups. And Tex-Mex food. And apple pie.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
  • divabat

(no subject)

rackhamrose, in little_details, while answering a query on creative reasons for a virgin in ritual:

Or you could take a page from Fushigi Yuugi and say that s/he has to be a virgin because, as arete suggested, the offering--in this case, to a spirit that would possess his/her body--is the possessee's virginity. So the spirit zaps the hymen, and then it's I AM ZUUL DESTROYER OF ALL WORLDS WHY AM I SMALL AND BLONDE WITH LARGE BREASTS.

(no subject)

I am at an honest-to-God internet cafe, of the sort that I didn't think existed in the States. The coffee (as well as the peripherals, like hot chocolate, which I believe to be nearly as important as coffee in coffeehouses) is superb. I am finally finished with classes. I wouldn't call it a crash landing, but it was far from smooth. There are many things I want to do over break and especially over the next semester, to Sort Out My Life if that doesn't sound too pretentious (it does, but so does SITTING IN AN INTERNET CAFE TYPING IN LIVEJOURNAL).

-- brouhaha

Sam Alone

(no subject)

samadia on our string theory Astronomy papers:

Okay so here's my first sentence, which is from Lord of the Rings

“One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,”

hahahahahahahahah! GET IT? String theory is the theory of vibrating loops of string? Loops, you know, loops like rings!? Vibrating rings of string! And string theory is supposed to be the theory to bind all other theories into one master theory, like bind them all and rule them!! oh I'm so clever!! and witty too!
  • Current Music
    Abney Park - New Black Day
All for you

(no subject)

karma_aster discusses her thoughts on slash:

"Seriously, I have nothing against slash or pretty boys going off and having wild freaky circus sex together. The world would likely be a better place if more people had consenual wild freaky circus sex on a somewhat regular basis."

And I think that's something we can all agree on. *sage nod*