December 1st, 2004

lady tree tree

(no subject)

Anyway, yesterday - apropos of nothing - we drove out to a nearby national park. And also apropos of nothing, we decided to go bushwalking. And once on the trail, we then realised that neither of us had anything with us; no phones, no water, nothing. As Jo suggested, it was entirely the kind of situation that ends with the words: "And they were never seen again."

But obviously, I'm home. :)

- whitetower
Random - Trippy Colours

(no subject)

thefiske has a theory on not doing so well in school:

I may be the Ralph Wiggums of STT315, but at least I'm trying my hardest to make failing look good!

I've thought about taking a dive on the final & retaking the class, but that's like calling up your rapist and asking him how his Saturday night looks.


(no subject)

</a></font></b></a>theartema) wrote in </a></font></b></a>childfree,
I was reminded of something that happened a few months ago, at my mum's dinner party for her church group.

I had been peacefully existing imitating a hermit in my room, finishing up some art and outlining a bit of rp plot, when I was pulled out to play Taboo with a group of post-menopausal women. Everything went smoothly, until the following occured:

My Partner: Okay, now this, um... this is where they take the babies when they're crying in church-
Me: -matter of factly- The guillotine.
All: -silence-
MP: -closing her eyes because the shock is apparently too much to bear-
Me: -hastily- Uh, nursery?

Mum then swooped in to rescue me. "Well, she really doesn't want to have any kids, see..."
dancing squirrelly

from meandean in customers_suck...

While having the sense to put the produce on the scale is half the battle won, the scale does not know what you are weighing. Setting your bag of onions down and staring blankly at the screen does nothing except make the onions bored and frustrated. (The U-Scan machine agrees with the onions, too.)

Whole post here. The whole thing is worth reading :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Food and Drink

Did you know that it is actually not possible to open a can of refried beans by stabbing it with a steak knife? (In the wee hours of the morning when grown-ups are not around to help provide burritos.) Did you know that if you DO manage to make a few little holes and return the can to the cupboard upside-down, it will make its own little puddle of Bacteria Soup?
--neonnurse's son trying clever variations on canopening.

The cap of my SoBe Oolong Tea bears the following message--"Is that a Hattori Lizardo sword?"

Either my beverage _so_ wants to fight, or it's _so_ coming on to me.


My tea never comes on to me.
  • griffen

The cluelessness, it burns

kantayra tells of her cousin's Thanksgiving visit - a visit which included said cousin's (a grad student in microbiology) share of the amusing responses to various labs she'd brought along to grade:

1. The 'respectfully' guy.

A generally intelligent person who, for whatever reason, consistently writes 'respectfully' instead of 'respectively'. For instance: The yields on day one and day two were 7 and 12 grams, respectfully. *giggle snorts* His measurements continued to be respectful three more times throughout his lab report.

It gets worsebetter from there.
  • Current Music
    They Might Be Giants - The World's Address (Joshua Fried Remix)
Film - The Shining

Why women with breasts larger than their brains should not be permitted to lead the class in any way


On a forced game of Simon Says in advisory. Cut for length, but I assure you it's worth it. (You can come to my house and pelt me with nectarines if you don't agree.)

On Wednesdays, before we can go to lunch, we have to suffer through a half-hour "advisory meeting," where students are supposed to utilize the time to talk with their advisors and homeroom classmates about serious academic issues and come to a better understanding of how to excel in their studies and reach their full potential. Professor Deadpan's homeroom usually uses this time to play Jenga.

Today, Professor Deadpan didn't seem to have any Jenga tiles around...
Collapse )

  • Current Music
    "Castle Down" - Emilie Autumn

Yes, Sandy, there is a Weird Knife Lady In The Attic.

From the ever-quoteable Neil Gaiman.

My children have, on occasion, strongly suggested that there might not be a Father Christmas. They also seem very doubtful about the existence of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny and the Weird Knife Lady In The Attic. I humour them by pretending to go along with all this, but I keep my own counsel on the matter.
  • Current Music
    Poe - Wild

(no subject)

Kidnapped with permission from eridanusus' journal.

You see, punk rock is a stoned goth chick with sexy chains and tight-fitting black corsets, the kind of girl you stay up all night drinking vodka and talking absolute shit about whatever you want, doesn't matter how stupid it is coz she's stoned anyway and she won't judge you. Then in the morning you offer her a ride home and she thanks you by giving you a blow job on the interstate/highway/motorway and it's all great. Glam rock is cool in her own way, too, of course - she's a glitzy bored rich girl all dolled up in pink boob tubes and hipsters, sparkle body paint disappearing under the hemlines and the light reflecting off her rings, bangles, necklaces. She's a complete cock-tease, she'll dance with you and bump and grind a little before shooting you a little smile and twirling away, walking with her hips shaking so you'll focus on her perfect little ass and go home to masturbate, alone, in the shadows.

(no subject)

see the impression i always got from that is that the boner is outta conrol. that muthafucker is going to attack anything thing that moves so watch out. I'm thinking less "angry" more "penius-on-a-rampage-gotta-stick-something" that's what runs through my head when i hear "raging boner"

annecromwell, in response to a_darker_shade's thoughts on the phrase "raging boner."


thedarkbear's annoyance at Nick and Jessica's sing along with Bing Crosby on their Christmas Special.
You butchered a great song. You betrayed the memory of a great singer. May your children be born tone deaf and rabid, chewing their way out of Jessica's stomach only to rip Nick's head off in retribution chanting "Bing forever, Bing forever."

Taken with permission and agreeing with every bit of it.
  • Current Music
    LOTR's in the background
YJ: Greta

(no subject)

Posted with permission from tinuviel8994.

"Discussing Alexander with my friend Ari:

ARI: Yeah. It sucked. Besides from letting them stick a dead weasel on his head, Colin Farrell forgot to take his Irish accent off.
ME: "Oh no! They're after me lucky Macedonia!""