Other girls get jewelry. I get "Sid Meier's Pirates!". I think I'm luckier than most other girls. *grin*
"As American as not talking about anal sex."
Consider the amount of time Americans spend eating apple pie and the amount of time Americans don't talk about anal sex. Which is more American?
So the next time someone starts talking about how evil sodomy is, remind them that they're being un-American.
If any of you have had sex change operations, moved out of the country or has any other exciting news other than A) I'm too tired to be at work and it really sucks or B) I'm still over-stuffed with Turkey, I'd love to hear about it.
"Everyone needs a knit vagina."
What really gets me about "Little Drummer Boy" is the irony of it having a really, really boring rhythm. This kid is a drummer, he's playing his very best, and he comes up with "pa-rum-pa-pum-pum"?!?!? What is he, playing with the stick held in his teeth?!
And as someone who's been to more than my share of Christmas Eve services, can I say what a breath of fresh air it would be to hear "I played my drum for him, pa rumpdida-rumpdida-chikachikachika-bizzow"
And let's not even mention the fact that right after childbirth, the last thing anyone wants is a drum being played next to their ear. "The finest gift you bring"? Dude, get Mary a pillow. Get some fresh hay.
What really REALLY gets me is when the carol is performed with the drumming part obviously done on a drum machine. (I'm looking at you, Bob Seger.)
OMFG, friendsfriends is like a bad dream gone wet...
"I saw you looking at that other computer's hard drive today."
"What? I most certainly did not!"
"You were! I saw you. You were practically slobbering over Erika's (my roommate's computer's) hard drive."
"I... well... I mean, she's a 180GB!"
"You don't think it's big enough, do you?"
"What? No, I think your hard drive is PERFECT for you!"
"I bet if I had a bigger hard drive, you'd love me more."
"You're a 20GB! That's more than enough for my needs!"
"We were studying a big looooong proof, and one of the guys in the class says (rather loudly) "this is better than sex"... My math teacher (Doug Durksen) replies, 'Instinctively, I'd say you were doing it wrong..'"
"You know who I want to see nude? NIGELLA LAWSON. Oh please, give me Nigella Nude. Oh that brown wavy hair, oh those deep brown eyes and that really lascivious look. That "If I put this much lust into making icing, imagine what I could do to YOU" look. And those wide hips and truly noble upper balcony. Oh yes, Nigella. I don't care if you are probably enormously snooty and like money. I just don't care."
And I joined this community just because that paragraph needed to be shared.
Goopy glittery slimy lotiony stuff with little exfoliating beads and wrinkle reduction cream and botox and a can-opener attachment is not an acceptible substitute for a god dammed bar of soap. This shower gel thing is complete bullshit.
Love, Shoi, who's currently feeling slimy in unacceptible places.
...I used this icon on purpose.
EDIT: THIS SHIT DOESN'T EVEN FOAM. I AM NOT CLEAN, I AM SIMPLY COATED IN A LAYER OF WATER RESISTANT SLIME!
But boy, do I smell awesome.
Driver's Ed. was pretty amusing otherwise. We did some easy stuff in the book ("Okay, in the picture, what do you predict the pedestrians will do?" "...come running at you with a gun." "Huh? What did you say?" "I said 'they're probably going to cross'."), and watched some old videos, two of which featured this talking car promoting paranoid driving and a lot of unnecessary honking, and another that was about a kid playing a Sega racing game at the arcade and suddenly having the screen turn into real driving ("AH! NO! THE MACHINE'S POSSESSED! AND I WAS ABOUT TO GET A HIGH SCORE! Please, I'll give you all the quarters you want, just let me keep playing!").