November 29th, 2004

kitty

(no subject)

flwyd has coined a new phrase:

"As American as not talking about anal sex."

Consider the amount of time Americans spend eating apple pie and the amount of time Americans don't talk about anal sex. Which is more American?

So the next time someone starts talking about how evil sodomy is, remind them that they're being un-American.
Random - Trippy Colours

(no subject)

jeffla has been away from LJ for a while...

If any of you have had sex change operations, moved out of the country or has any other exciting news other than A) I'm too tired to be at work and it really sucks or B) I'm still over-stuffed with Turkey, I'd love to hear about it.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
saggital

Percussive contemplation

From oakenguy:

What really gets me about "Little Drummer Boy" is the irony of it having a really, really boring rhythm. This kid is a drummer, he's playing his very best, and he comes up with "pa-rum-pa-pum-pum"?!?!? What is he, playing with the stick held in his teeth?!

And as someone who's been to more than my share of Christmas Eve services, can I say what a breath of fresh air it would be to hear "I played my drum for him, pa rumpdida-rumpdida-chikachikachika-bizzow"? It'd be the perfect antidote to "O Holy Night", which is a fine song, don't get me wrong, but at 10:58pm after a big meal in a room full of people wearing thick, comfy sweaters, it can knock you out like a boxing glove soaked in valium.

And let's not even mention the fact that right after childbirth, the last thing anyone wants is a drum being played next to their ear. "The finest gift you bring"? Dude, get Mary a pillow. Get some fresh hay.

What really REALLY gets me is when the carol is performed with the drumming part obviously done on a drum machine. (I'm looking at you, Bob Seger.)

(no subject)

zach_kw, again on his finicky computer, here.

"I saw you looking at that other computer's hard drive today."

"What? I most certainly did not!"

"You were! I saw you. You were practically slobbering over Erika's (my roommate's computer's) hard drive."

"I... well... I mean, she's a 180GB!"

"You don't think it's big enough, do you?"

"What? No, I think your hard drive is PERFECT for you!"

"I bet if I had a bigger hard drive, you'd love me more."

"You're a 20GB! That's more than enough for my needs!"
SHout at me later - by IconsbyCurtana
  • eslyssa

Better than Sex

As seen in elfin_archer, quoted with permission.

"We were studying a big looooong proof, and one of the guys in the class says (rather loudly) "this is better than sex"... My math teacher (Doug Durksen) replies, 'Instinctively, I'd say you were doing it wrong..'"
Sister Death

Tasting Nigella

In the comments to theferrett's open letter to the porn industry, happydog waxes lyrical about one celebrity that deserves some Naked Time:


"You know who I want to see nude? NIGELLA LAWSON. Oh please, give me Nigella Nude. Oh that brown wavy hair, oh those deep brown eyes and that really lascivious look. That "If I put this much lust into making icing, imagine what I could do to YOU" look. And those wide hips and truly noble upper balcony. Oh yes, Nigella. I don't care if you are probably enormously snooty and like money. I just don't care."


And I joined this community just because that paragraph needed to be shared.

face of an angel.

(no subject)

Flatmate is away for a few days, so inbetween shouting at telly and blogging, am celebrating in traditional manner by running round with pants on head. Fully dressed though: there's nothing weird about it.

By jamesandthebluecat.
default

shoiryu experiments with the world of complicated hygiene products and finds them lacking:

Dear females of the world:

Goopy glittery slimy lotiony stuff with little exfoliating beads and wrinkle reduction cream and botox and a can-opener attachment is not an acceptible substitute for a god dammed bar of soap. This shower gel thing is complete bullshit.

Love, Shoi, who's currently feeling slimy in unacceptible places.

...I used this icon on purpose.

EDIT: THIS SHIT DOESN'T EVEN FOAM. I AM NOT CLEAN, I AM SIMPLY COATED IN A LAYER OF WATER RESISTANT SLIME!

But boy, do I smell awesome.
what'sthat--by me

(no subject)

jaydeis has some fun with Driver's Ed...

Driver's Ed. was pretty amusing otherwise. We did some easy stuff in the book ("Okay, in the picture, what do you predict the pedestrians will do?" "...come running at you with a gun." "Huh? What did you say?" "I said 'they're probably going to cross'."), and watched some old videos, two of which featured this talking car promoting paranoid driving and a lot of unnecessary honking, and another that was about a kid playing a Sega racing game at the arcade and suddenly having the screen turn into real driving ("AH! NO! THE MACHINE'S POSSESSED! AND I WAS ABOUT TO GET A HIGH SCORE! Please, I'll give you all the quarters you want, just let me keep playing!").