Metaquotes

bexless, cracking me up here

Aren't your boobs supposed to stop growing by the time you're 23? If mine get any bigger I'm going to start setting off bomb alerts every time I roll towards Russia in my sleep.

nisie does work with demos and samples at Costco. She usually has cute stories to tell, but this one made me giggle.

"Guy who totally looks like Santa came up to me and asked me where is the coal. My first thought is if Santa's buying it at Costco, there's a heap of bad girls and boys out there."
- here.

" today I thought to myself 'what would make my life complete?'


of course, that was when my mother informed me that no, we could not have a pet elephant."

-- the amazing and brilliant crantz

envoy, on the subject of post-Thanksgiving ads:

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Unless whatever you're calling "super" can clean my house, do my dishes, scoop my cats' litterbox, and cure cancer all in one sexy, naked flash, I don't want to hear that adjective. It's just misleading, and I get depressed when I take advantage of a "super" sale, come home, and fail to see a hot nude man ridding my shower's world of the evil that is soap scum.

From </a></b></a>snarkophagus, here.

From jpness33 in a locked post about how he finally saw the third Harry Potter.

It's sad that I regret spending $15.99 on this DVD. Why can't they be normal and make 3 hour long movies that get the ENTIRE PLOT? I would seriously sit for three or four hours in a movie theater to see a Harry Potter movie that leaves nothing out. Perhaps that's just the geeky fanboy in me, but I would...I'd even fucking pee on myself if I had to just to stay seated through the entire flick.

Richard Harris is probably turning over in his grave due to this movie.

At least Emma Watson was hot...fuck, now I'm a pedophile.

"Oh dear.

While I'm sure that a person can live with only one lung, my immediate concern is how do I get the other one off the ceiling?"

-copperwise

"That was the opening for Final Fantasy X-2"
"So what is Final Fantasy anyways?"
*awed stare* "You're kidding, right?"
"Don't look at me like...."
*types in www.livejournal.com/update..."

--kiryuutougasama, here.

Comments to a post in which ms_tek wondered about the sense of some type of dating ads.

jjjiii: What does NSA mean in this context? </puzzled.>
hullo:  no strings attached
jjjiii:  Ah, OK. I was all wracking my three remaining working braincells trying to come up with something that didn't have to do with the National Security Agency... Thank you!

Am I missing something of deep and meaningful significance which would, if I knew about it, cause me to be a good and happy person for the rest of my life? Rosie

Dear Rosie,

Yes.

Yours apologetically,

Neil

http://www.livejournal.com/community/customers_suck/8332712.html#cutid1

For the most part, it's fun, and the customers aren't too bad, but today was the day that decided to eat my soul.
kallievamist

doqz responds to this comment:

I went home and logged on to check my live-journal only to find a pudgy Toronto bottom-feeder has once again exploded in an unprovoked and vituperative paroxysm of libel and slanderous abuse. But that was all right. I held no ill-feelings toward the poutine-loving man-bitch. Who of us hasn't dealt with personal tragedy by lashing out against our idols, after all? And I personally don't know if I would have been able to come to terms with the "Incident" any better. So if he wants to deal with losing his virginity to Warren Ellis in an act of gross anal violation at a tender and impressionable age, by developing a disturbing fixation on the man, which this Ontario-oxygen-wasting-freakshow-gone-horribly-wrong proclaims loudly every Thursday as he staggers dawn Bloor Street wrapped in the Canadian flag and screaming out God Save the Queen from his Guinness-guzzling maw...

Whatever helps you deal, my friend, I say. We're all here for you.

It is the rest of my friends that killed the joy of this holiday as they gathered around this unfortunate mistake of nature and fanned his misdirected rage, egging me on to respond in some childish manner as they wave their pixels around and scream "Fight! Fight!"

My friends, it seems, are a bunch of vicious fuckers.

Well. No.

I take my stand here. For maturity and good taste.
I will not engage in this infantile past-time.

I will be the bigger man. (Which is not that hard from what I hear)

The rest of the post is pretty quotable, too.

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bansidhe: *Eats her un-Thanksgiving for great justice!*
shati: We get turkey!!!
Shati: (What??)
Shati: Main oven turn on!
Bansidhe: Someone has set us up the pie!
Shati: How are you gentlemen!
Shati: All your stuffing are belong to us!

-- bansidhe. (Also included are some tasty recipes.)

Nothing but nothing exorcises the tension of familial loathing like borrowing the first names of your cousins' obnoxious kids for gay sock-fetish porn.

here.

Canada is trying so hard to express their sovereignty in the north, (especially when Denmark seems wanting to challenge them for it), but I'm just left with the feeling that a war between them might be charming and slightly goofy. They're like Hugh Grant in the 1990s, sweet and handsome and adorable in their fumbliness.

--schuyler, on hearing about some recent Canadian military exercises

from an entry where psychomar's sister points out a facial flaw...

People are so vain these days i'm sure we aren't far from seeing an ad like that in the newspaper! "We'll fix up your whole ugly family for 10% off!"

first metaquote. i'm a bit giddy.

Renee Zellweger was on Letterman a few minutes ago; I was disappointed to see she's lost all her Bridget Jones weight and then some. Cleavage. Is good. Visible sternum. Is not.

--aka_twitch

10. More bakers should know astronomy. There's something very cosmic about yeast.

The ever quotable copperbadge

Mind, here, it's more like slush with ambition.

-- scoradh in a comment here.

Boy, if we can't get along with our own selves, how do we get along with people from different cultures?

By which I mean, people who root for the Yankees?

kuchenhexe gave me permission to metaquote her comment, so here is my first quote for this community.

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"Leaving out the the Marauders backstory is like doing LOtR without the ring. What, are we all just going on a nice hike?" -- My friend the rabid HP geek upon leaving the theater.
glamsith
from comments here

angsty_girl talks about her day at work:

today at work there was a fight! it was way cool! mostly because I didn't have to go near it! it was outside and all. then a bunch of punk kids complained that they only got kicked out of an R rated movie because they were hispanic and we are racist. uhm, no. they were all about 15 or 16. it was funny. again, mostly because I didn't have to go near it.