Metaquotes

juniper200 with something new to be thankful for:

It's a good thing it's very, very difficult to set people on fire with my mind, because if it weren't, I'd get in extravagant trouble every time I went to the grocery store.

seidoo_ryuu gets silly:

"So consider Knight Rider. Now, say that Kitt (the car) gets drunk off some cheap motor oil or something (maybe Michael put some of that Heet stuff in the gas tank--it has alcohol in it, or so I've heard :P), and takes Michael for a joyride (who wouldn't???:P). And they subsequently get pulled over. So who gets charged withthe DUI here? And assuming they charge the car, how are they going to get Kitt into the Courthouse for his arraignment? Would they have to have Court outside, in the parking lot? So how would they keep Kitt from getting away? Instead of a bailiff with a butt zapper taser, would they just box the car in with a bunch of those stop strips?

I discussed it further with a couple of friends. I mean, imagine the cops trying to give Kitt field sobriety tests. I can just about imagine some poor cop trying to administer the heel-to-toe test and field nystagmus test to a car:

Officer: "Okay, I want you to walk a straight line from here to there, and touch your toes to your heels on each step."
Kitt: "I'm afraid I cannot do that."
Officer: "Why not??"
Kitt: "Because I don't have feet, you moron."
Officer: *scribbling notes* "So is that a refusal to test?""

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firesignwriter saw "Alexander" and offered up her spoiler-ish thoughts on it. In the comments below, doqz wondered out loud why he should go see it:

doqz: I've seen a couple of Colin Farrell movies. He can't act. Am I like all alone on this? He always plays the same guy and you never really care that much about him. (True, the appeal of dangly bits is lost on me so if that's a vital component of his appeal, I'll just shut up)...

firesignwriter: [After answering the rest of his comment] The movie also offers a quite extensive and jiggly examination of Rosario Dawson's boobs. They're pretty, as boobs go. Big and shapely and adorned with all the appropriate nipples. You'd like them.

By bkwrrm_tx in this post.

M: Me
SC: Subconscious

M: I have a headache
SC: I’m so sorry. You have Advil on your desk. Take some and you’ll feel better, I promise.

/an hour later/

M: I have a headache.
SC: Well, you still haven’t taken the Advil that is sitting in plain sight on your desk. Go do it now. This is the only way the headache will go away.

/3 hours after that/

M: Man, my head hurts.
SC (sitting in a lounge chair, drinking a Pina Colada and reading JD Robb): Of *course* it does! You wouldn’t take the Advil that we’ve been yammering about. You *deserve* the headache! In fact, we’re plotting with the blood vessels in your brain to shrink, then expand, and keep this up for the next week because you’re an idiot! Next thing you know, you’ll have athletes foot, a boil on your ass and halitosis!
M: Okay, I’m taking the Advil
SC: Too late.

Met with Mormons this morning.
Got to stop doing that.

-adventureman

I found this entry by canthlian in my friendsfriends list.

You know, with my friends list, it is possible -- and indeed, sometimes likely -- to get both a furry hater, and a furry artist to post nearly simultaneously. So, should I ever drop out of contact, you shall know that irony has killed me dead.

I replied asking to post that here, and he replied:

*Blinks*

I spend a month trying to convince my f-list to metaquote me, and then someone comes in and wants to do it randomly.

*Dies of irony*

(P.S. Metaquote me now. :D)

Well, I'm only following his instructions...

la_rainette gets a rental car and discovers that it doesn't have a 'central lock' function:

"Blast. Cos this, you know, is the way I close and open the van, usually: I just press on a button. If it's already closed, and you press the button again, it will honk, telling you in its own language "Kind master, your wish has already been fulfilled" (or more probably "yo! Moron! What words in 'closed already' haven't you understood?"). It is also very useful in a huge parking lot, when you don't remember where you've parked your car, although it induces the occasional coronary in the unsuspecting passer-by (I've seen a guy jump up a good foot just because the innocent-looking, parked and empty van, had just honked at him -- I was on the other side of the street, making sure the van was locked. Ooops.)"

Both found on my friend pages, and quoted with permission.

On Alexander

Oh Oliver Stone, You are truly the Anne Rice of the cinema set. Editors are there for a reason. Use 'em, dammit.

Nathan: I think somewhere in there was a good movie trying to get out. He should release an "extended edition" that's shorter than the original.
Me: Alexander, the director's cut: Now with three hours less bombast! ... which means it doesn't exist anymore.

Still, Colin Farrell made a decent psycho pretty boy with a mommy fixation, even if he did a little too much "this is my OSCAR SCENE, bitch!" acting. Seriously, I don't think people quiver like that when they die, and whoa, reign back the crazy eyes there, kiddo ... Your face might totally freeze like that.
~smuu, here


On Doctors and Diet Plans

My wonderful doctor's advice to help me lose weight....(which wasn't asked for or wanted).

"Eat less."

No shit, Sherlock.
edtel, here

In the course of a long discussion of word usage, insults and offensive terms, rabies_t_dog has the best example of the word "gay" as an insult, evah:

... a friend of mine, a few years ago, made the following statement with no hint of irony:

"I think all this hatred and intolerance is really gay."

and in response to my sporfle, rabies_t_dog adds:

It's even funnier when you know that she said it right in front of my bisexual roommate. It stunned him into silence for a few seconds which, if you know him, is huge.

royalwhore and I are buds in RL, and since she continually cracks me up, I decided to share the love.

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Also, her entire entry on her religion class is so dead-on and funny:

just a link, 'cause relgion can offend.

From triggur this past weekend:

Judging from my site logs, it seems like EVERY WEBSITE ON THE PLANET has discussion boards/blogs/journals. NEVER BEFORE have so many people had so much to say.

Too bad 87% of it is "LOLOLOLOLOL" ...with 6 inch tall animated gif signatures.