Metaquotes

And yes, you can see right through and out the front door. This will come in exceedingly handy if Yosemite Sam ever tries to knock down our door with a battering ram.

-- twodoors about a new house here (photos)

velvetglove makes note of what probably WON'T win you The Booker Prize.

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The conference was rather good fun. For reasons unknown to me, my presentation was widely praised and deemed by many to be one of the high points of the three day meeting. I can only therefore surmise that they don't get out much.

--mr_cornelius

Friend 1: it's so ironic that only on a game board is the woman allowed to go anywhere. whereas the man is stunted to one block moves.
Friend 2: i mean, let's face it -- the king is like, "oh, look at me...i'm old, moving one square at a time with these old, athritic knees."
Friend 2: and the queen is like, "bitch, please."

On threadsofchange, being_homeless demonstrates that it's often the smallest things that makes the most difference.

Wonka makes him special candies. Lemon drops of heaven. A twinkle in every bite.

schiarire ponders miscellanny's suggestion of Wonka/Dumbledore.

ETA(Subject line from miscellanny further down in the thread)

In the comments section of a friends' locked community post, quoted with permission:

riotlounge: Wow, this person needs a real introduction to the Internet, like stat. What a princess.

"Ooo, this offends my delicate sensibilites after I have arisen from my dainty slumber upon a pillow of silk and rainbows. Please ensconce your foul self to the dungeons before I get pissy!"

sullen: If diabetes was a superhero, its arch rival would be the holiday season.

From amikatana about this

*And YOU (you know who you are), I'll kill ya at the first comment that even LOOKS like it has 'obsessed' in it. I needta break in my knife.

helleboredoll

I now have three friends and a fish! My lj life grows...

Another from alleycatfish... This time about an evil stuffed duck.

I thought about taking its picture, but I decided against it. I had a random thought of being woken up in the middle of the night by that evil duck screaming "I'll swallow your soul!" So yeah, no picture.

Full entry here

raventsukino: I couldn't sleep so I went to drunken donuts, right?
frenzied: Ok?
raventsukino: Bought some glazed donuts and stuck them to my eyes.
frenzied: ...why?
raventsukino: Climbed a tree and made believe I was an owl.
frenzied: There's trees there?
raventsukino: No.
frenzied: ...So you climbed a lamp post?
raventsukino: Yeah!
frenzied: Hehehe

meshou explains the origin of Thanksgiving in this thread on fanficrants...

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Taken from ironychan with permission:

Today in my history class, the professor gave a lecture on millennial fears as the year 1000 approached, and why the evidence is conflicting. The main thing I noticed during her lecture was that when she wrote on the overhead, she spelled 'millennium' with only one 'n'. This is one of my pet peeves, so I will explain here why 'millennium' should always, always be spelled with two n's.

'Millennium' is derived from the latin words mille, meaning 'thousand', and annus, meaning 'year'.

If you take out the relevant n, you're left with mille and anus. The latter, as any seven-year-old teller of astronomical jokes knows, means 'asshole'.

So 'millennium', with two n's, means 'one thousand years'.

'Millenium' with one n can be a synonym for 'fandom'.

brazenbells laments here about her sister's use of scented personal hygeine products.

I counted the things in our shower today. The tally goes as follows (remember, my stuff ran out so these are all hers):

• Five shampoos, four of which are Herbal Essences,

• four conditioners, three of which are weird floral/fruit scent mixes

• three body washes, one of which is Herbal Essences (the pomegranate etc.)

• three shave gels, two of which are fruit-scented.

• two loofahs.


Judging by the rate of disappearance and replacement, she uses at least three of the shampoos every time she showers, and possibly two of the body washes.

There is clean, and then there is....psychotic.

At least, I hope it's a pet ...

My dear friend, the Badger Lord, tell us here about his dear Princess Willow.

Princess Willow the First got a bath from her dad, The Badger Lord.

Princess Willow now resembles a pissed off, spastic brillo pad.

First entry here.

I have just been reminded of this rather amusing experiment by keefybabe from last week, with him attempting to replace all water with beer for a day...

"Also, I had an unrealistic hope that maybe Sues work the same way as faries, if so many of the Sues are faries. So if we all say "I don't believe in Sues," one will die each time it's said! Anyone want to help?

I don't believe in Mary-Sues."

-- vadadaca, at pottersues.

C'mon everybody! Say it!

rashaka muses on her fandom's sense of humor here:

"My fandom will not only take a joke, we'll kidnap it, spank it a bit, and run away to elope with it."

Posted by internetsdairy in these comments below his most recent entry.

"Do subtitles for the hard-of-hearing have a little bouncing ball hopping across them yet? If not, why not? It's 2004!"

beeblebabe, here, on the topic of what kind of a human being she is:

Conclusive proof that I am a pathetic excuse for a human being.

I hear a pattering sound outside. "Ah! Perhaps it is raining!" I think.

Do I lean over to the window, which is three feet away, to look outside? No.

Do I open the window and stick my hand out? No.

I check weather.com.

It is, in fact, raining.

An entry from the evil evil punster copperbadge:

So if I write slash, does that make me homotextual?

But I write het too. Perhaps I'm bitextual.

Maybe even transtextual...help me! I'm having a TEXTUALITY CRISIS!

And some replies:

flyingcarpet: Metrotextual?

femmequixotic: Does that mean if you write historic smut you're retrotextual?

officialbizness: It's not contagious, is it?
copperbadge: A Textually Transmitted Disease?

In response to fundie christians talking on the phone to God, which explains why they know exactly what he thinks:

"How odd. He rang me the other night and begged me not to reproduce in any way, shape, or form, and that even having two cats and three houseplants might be pushing it.

I said, "God, you old silly. According to Your followers, You made me, remember? With the human equivalent of hip dysplasia, the bad knees, the deformed spine, the crooked fingers, the asthma, the 1,001 allergies, and the whole insanity thing? Would I go against your obvious plan and have a baby?"

"Oh, right," said God, a trifle nonplussed. "Must go. I've used up all my weekend minutes.""

-- just_the_ash, over at that evil evil Childfree community.

twowayaddiction in this post about cosmetic surgeries that really, really shouldn't exist.

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shhbabe: Fuck no
According to our developer, that is Hebrew for "I can not work on your project today. Sorry."

silverbriar, issuing a notice to the boys in regards to her Lingerie Baking Night: (yeh, I know... o_0)

Gentlemen: If you try to breech our security, we will sever your member. We don't care how good you are in bed or how much we may like it- we can always have it stuffed and mounted as a strap on. There will be no negotiations. Why don't you gather in your boxers and play video games that night instead?

Mwahaha. This whole post had me cracking up, but this was the best part by far.
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From stellabrillante

...I either looked unusually attractive today or I had some strange lip fungus because I caught like a dozen guys looking at me and some guy actually spoke to me outside my chem class this morning. Or maybe it's just because all the sorority girls had to put on clothes because it is freezing out.