Metaquotes

...I happen to think the fandom is very much like the mafia. You want something, you post in on your LJ, and a friend of a friend will have what you need.
-missaustralia, here.

Major Reasons People Become Homosexual, by misia

Including ...

8. Seeing, hearing, or participating in some way in things, products, or events that were made by or which include content created by homosexuals. Many homosexuals are unnaturally creative, a result of their perverted channeling of the procreative impulse into things other than the family. They use their talents to try to seduce the unwitting into sampling their "lifestyle." One should be particularly suspicious of enjoying Broadway musicals, fashion and lifestyle magazines, dance music, and fashionable clothing. Popular music is particularly problematic. A single hearing of one Elton John song has been known to turn strong men into pansies; similar problems have been reported with women hearing even small amounts of the music of Melissa Etheridge.

14. Eating Greek food. The phrase "you are what you eat" is part of God's plan for human beings and it is really true. Greece, the land where homosexuality was invented, is famous for its national cuisine, but eater beware! This is the same food that Sappho, the founder of lesbianism, enjoyed, and it was also the food eaten by thousands of skirt-wearing pedophiles who shared bathtubs with other men on a regular basis. It is especially important to avoid the dessert called "baklava," a dish whose name is code for Beg Anal Koitus (the Greek spelling) Loudly And Very Ardently and which induces a profound yearning (which can last for up to 4 days) to be the recipient of anal intercourse.

Read the whole list.  (Although doing so may also make you homosexual.)

-canthlian on today's kittenbreak:

Ladies and gentleman, I think we have found Schrodinger's cat.

chirssly:

 1) There's a local soda company that, around Thanksgiving time, makes a turkey soda.

2) I don't understand people.

These statements are related.

Not really a quote per se, but it's a very cute and lovely idea!

from tartanshell:

Spread Holiday Cheer - Make Someone's LJ Wishes Come True!

Optimus Prime has no wang.


halo4 in a comment to my journal entry in which I asked my flist to list for me their Hated Pairings of DOOM. (Feel free to pop over and add to the irrational hatred.)

From the always readable princeofcairo on the popcorny freemasonry that is National Treasure

N.B.: If you, dear viewer, are planning any sort of operation, be it a quest to destroy a Ring of Power, the theft of a silvery briefcase, a 00 spy network, a quixotic treasure hunt, or whatever, just don't hire Sean Bean. It won't end well for you. Some day, they should make a movie that only has Sean Bean and Gene Hackman in it, and we could watch them betray each other recursively for 110 minutes.

zomgrhi, here:

I bought two singles. Rammstein's Amerika and Gwen Stefani's What You Waiting For?. Nevermind that the first one is mostly German and the second is grammatically incorrect. It's all good.

I was hoping it would end with, 'And now Izzy sits in the corner of his room all day long, rocking back and forth, singing 'N Sync songs with a Hungarian accent.'

--elysium3d, commenting on this story in mock_the_stupid.

pornography, here.

Last week I got dragged into going to a school camp. It was all good until the last night, when we had to sleep out in this field. By midnight everyone was fast asleep - until, apparently, I woke everyone up by yelling out "they're not your pants, batman!" in my sleep.

Seriously. They're not your pants, batman. What the fuck was I dreaming about?

minttown1 on dorm life (flocked, but with permission):

There are people making out in the stairwell.

I hope they forget to breathe, then die.

In the comments to this post, on the subject of superpowers, specifically the ability to pee into the future:

vegetariansushi:See, I was just more envisioning this long, arcing rain of urine randomly splatting into the future. I mean, you're pissed that you didn't get invited to tomorrow's party? PEE AND IT WILL HIT THEM.

randomblade:Ahaha! I'm *pissed* that I don't get invited to tomorrow's paty!?

Evangelicals...give 'em an inch and they'll accuse it of turning their kids gay.

--wanderingrogue in response to this article as posted in mock_the_stupid

I thought that by the time I was in my 30's I'd be vaguely organised and grown up. Yet I find myself wandering through my flat in search of my pants. I have lost my pants. I am calling "Here! Pants pants pants!" in the hope that they hear and make themselves known.