November 17th, 2004

baseball

(no subject)

From a post by windbringer1 containing quotes from one of her teachers, on why males court females...

She doesn't need you! Any female of any species who wanted to have sex could do it, TODAY. However, you need her because you have not the SLIGHTEST CLUE how to take care of yourself.


Hee hee hee, check out the whole post for further amusement from Dr. Noonan.
mac

When Shakespeareans Attack

angevin2 and contributors have some tips for aspiring Shakespearean directors:

33. Also, I will not require Caliban to hump Stephano's leg while telling him about Miranda, no matter how big a laugh it will get.

55. I will not allow the King's ghost in Hamlet to look like a hairy popsicle.

128. Lady Macbeth doesn't start out the play insane. If she does, there's nowhere to go. It's called a character ARC!

133. 47 women in identical black wigs commuting on the train do not make good Three Witches.

161. If I must stage Macbeth in a modern setting, there is no reason to dress the Scottish nobles as Hare Krishnas, especially if I also arm them with machine guns.

165. At no time shall Romeo slap Tybalt with a fish. This is especially key during their confrontation in 3.1.

And it keeps on growing, and growing, and growing...

(no subject)

dawntreader90 on dealing with co-workers, f-locked but quoted with permission:

i swear. if anyone asks me any more stupid questions, the minute their head comes into view, i'm going to HIT IT WITH A ROCK!!! (my way is VERY sportsmanlike, thankyouverymuch.)
fullstop

not sure how many times it's been posted already, but...

velvetcurtain23 in this entry:

why my cousin linzee rocks

her away message:

"The Republican National Committee announced today that the Republican Party is changing its emblem from an elephant to a condom. The committee chairman explained that the condom more clearly reflects the party's stance today, because a condom accepts inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually getting fucked."
intertubes tmicore

(no subject)

apocalypsos suggests instructions for persons interested in picking up packages:

"If you want your package, please come to your local office wearing a bunny costume with a squid on your head and sing the theme song to 'The Wuzzles'."

"To get your package, please appear on the local news naked and dancing in the Reflecting Pool while throwing little pickles at passersby."

On the NFL.....

From bcsusmc75 on the subject on the NFL and FCC:

Now, this past Monday night, the hallowed tradition of Monday Night Football was tainted all because of a 45 second promo. ABC and NFL got together to promote the game and the show "Desperate Housewives." In the promo, Nicolette Sheridan, clad in nothing but a towel, tries to seduce Terrell Owens of the Philadelphia Eagles to get him to skip the game. She takes off her towel and jumps into his arms. The only skin shown is her bare back, no tits, no ass, just her back. Oh, I'm popping wood right now just thinking about it. How racy. Give me a break. Now several people called up and complained that it was inappropriate and shouldn't have been shown because kids could see it. Have you watched an NFL game lately? Ads for Viagra, Levitra and Cialis, all drugs used to correct problems with your wood, run abundantly during NFL games. Scantily clad cheerleaders run amock. Beer ads featuring buxom blondes and TWINS!!!

I recommend his journal, which is very new, but the rants are well worth the read!