November 15th, 2004

Halloween Hair

Cake or Death?

Woman: Ohhh, you only have one carrot cake muffin. We were each going to get one.

John (joking): Well, you should have come sooner than.

Woman (VERY not joking): SOME of us go TO CHURCH in the mourning.

Me (whatevah...): I'm going to hell, but I got my muffin.

COME ON!!! PRIORITIZE PEOPLE!!! do you want a muffin? Or do you want salvation? Hurry up, make up your mind, I haven't got all day.

from a post in customers_suck, by montyswm84
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    amused amused
  • telaryn

Yoga in Middle Earth -- Search for the One True Pose!

supersloane details an...enlightening...yoga class:

Ok.... dude, we're in the middle of class. You are supposed to be serious and innerpeacy and stuff and you are squealing at me like I touched your nuts or something. Then I think again about how very Elijahesque this guy is and I just smile. After a moment or so, he realizes that he is actually supposed to be TEACHING and he goes back into instructor-mode. The class is barely challenging but he has these grandiose ideas about how flexible me and the 3 other woman in the room are suppossed to be.

In the middle of downward dog (not a terribly umm... modest pose), he comes up BEHIND me, puts his hands on my hips and pulls them UP. Dude....DUDE. Just....no.



Go here. Entire post is so funny I couldn't decide on a single quote.
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    amused amused
Un(alp)be(urp)liev(gulp)able!
  • namey

Mm... this lobster is divine...

angel_one (locked post w/ permission).

I have this theory. You know how it's said that God made us in his image? Well I think he was misunderstood. If you look at all the animals alive right now, you'll see that the most successful species are arthropods (crustaceans, spiders, bugs). There are by far more arthropods than anything else out there. Therefore it occurs to me that God must actually be a lobster. Or a spider. Either way, a lot us will be going straight to hell when we die. Enjoy your dinners.
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    Cubanate - Oxyacetylene (extended remix)
Whuh Huh?!

(no subject)

From sages_of_chaos, which I swear is going to kill me laughing...can I get away with quotes from sockpuppets?

zodidj: At what point does Justice become revenge, and when does that become wrong? If you are protecting others, or trying to Educate someone that perhaps his way is wrong, where is that line I do not want to cross so I don't end up on Frank's [the Punisher's] dance card (and not his Elektra-type dance card either)?

subtle_guns:
1. Commit murder of Innocents -- you're on my dance card as of right now.
2. Facilitate same indirectly through word, assistance, or deed -- you and I are going to salsa lessons.
3. Animal abuse -- an extra long ballroom competition, freestyle division.
4. Rape, and other injury by violence -- allow me to choreograph something personalized for you.
5. Even thinking about touching children -- you're my date for Swan Lake at the Bolshoi.
6. Narc me out to the CIA -- you'll grow to love modern dance.
7. Be Matt [Daredevil] Murdock -- expect a dislocated shoulder or two as we have a frank exchange of opinions.
evilstubble

Mike Mearls is enjoying Halo 2 a little too much...

You see, Halo 2 has a pair of new features. You can hijack an opponent's vehicle, and vehicles now take damage and eventually explode. In the original, only certain vehicles went kaboom.

Anyway, I'm mowing down guys on my Ghost, a sort of hover cycle with guns. I've been riding the thing all game, and it's shot utterly to hell. It's gonna blow at any moment. So, I slide next to a guy on the other team and sort of float there like a dude who eats nachos at every meal.

He pushes me off, hops on, and yells "I got your ride, bitch!"

As he peeled off, I riddled the near-dead Ghost with bullets, blew it up, and capped him as he flew through the air. I then proceeded to jump up and down on his corpse and yell back "How you like my ride NOW? Huh? HOW YOU LIKE IT?"


- mearls
olivia

First Post. Squeee...

Quoted from namey's LJ...

"All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice."

--T.M. Hatter
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    accomplished
TV - Python - All This Then
  • gairid

(no subject)

from jadedscorpion's journal:


You wouldn't think that in this small town, you'd run into more than one or two people who had someone from their family in Iraq, or had been there. But I have, *many* people.

One woman was looking for things for her grandson Iraq to send him, like sunscreen, and moisturizer. One lady came in and bought twenty-four bags of candy. We asked if she was a teacher, cause they buy a lot of candy sometimes. She said she was sending them to her son in Iraq, candy for the troops and for them to hand out to kids over there. Sorry we blew up your house, here, have a root beer barrel.
  • Current Music
    Here We Go Again - Norah Jones & Ray Charles
new meez, default

A twofer

bsquad is being very quotable today.

First, a comment on the political process, from here:

Groupthink is to politics what incest is to British royalty. It will always be a part of the process, but if it gets too intense for too long, it can produce some real monstrosities.

And then, a cogent observation about religion in the comments to this post:

It seems imperative to me that Christians who have read past Leviticus not cede the word "Christian" to those who haven't.
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    contemplative philosophical
Wissenschaftsstadt Darmstadt

Those crazy Roman Catholics!

I'm just wondering ... not being religious or nothing ... does this cancel out the blessing of the animals from earlier in the year?

drbear, replying to the subject line comment I made in this entry, which all started with his posting of a press release published by his employer (the Green Bay, WI, News-Chronicle) recently for a "Hunters' Mass".
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    Silence of the cubicle farm
bela lugosi - *dead*

(no subject)

daisan in a comment to this entry by novemberhour:

Yeah, I remember being in high school, all the middle aged professors were all like "Anarchy!" "Kill the Pope!" and we students were all like, "But no, we need to obey all the rules and go to bed by 9 pm."

There's a hilarious (and sad) article linked in the entry. Check it out.
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    "Blue"--Cowboy Bebop st
  • griffen

*snicker* With a friend like that....

wtf_inc is my friend. If you like, it can be your friend too!

Granted, it's the sort of friend who calls you up drunk at 2 a.m. talking about mice made out of marmalade who sing the praises of wooden blocks, and possibly even the sort of friend who will offer some examples of the singing. But a stout, stalwart friend nonetheless.


- rosefox, in this post in food_porn
  • Current Music
    Uffington Horse - Pirate Bill and Squiddly