Metaquotes

ladyegreen has some awesome advice for everyone still despairing over the election:

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anna: whats wrong with a vibrator?
inna: can't you get cancer?
--vitachka


nightstalker: I shared an elevator with Bill O'Riely yesterday. He looked very smug...
kimpire: Did the elevator at least taste good?

Y'see, what I don't get is why he should look smug. It's almost like the elevator killed Bill O'Reilly's father or something, and by killing it and sharing it with nightstalker he's avenging his father's death.

"Hello, my name is Bill O'Reilly. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Or:

"Hey, elevator! You're goin' down."

From the ever-amusing cupcakery in this post:

You're not allowed to take sabres on to planes.

"I'm sorry, Mr Vader, but you're going to have to put away the - " *ZRMMM!* *SLASH!* "AUUUUGHHH!"

minervacat's discussion of classifying cruets vs. decanters takes a peculiar turn for g_m_s:

So Christ's Blood is a condiment?</a>

Holiday musings by crevette, including this description of a truly religious timepiece...

It was made by the same people who make that annoying bird clock.... the one that gives a different birdcall every hour on the hour.

This clock, however, depicted the Last Supper. Every hour, on the hour, day or night, this clock would play the Hallelujiah Chorus. And I don't mean, "Hallelujiah!" and done, I mean a whole three minute clip of the Morman Tabernacle Choir yodeling that bad boy at jet engine decibels.

Entire post is here.

"It's not helping that the Democratic party is composed of a bunch of fools with the fortitude of chewed bubblegum."

--coachdoom, <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/ubsa/5866.html?style=mine>here</a>.

From today's sinfestfeed. Cut for a nice bit of blaspheming...

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"Hi. We may not have been formally introduced but I'm quite sure I already hate you. P.S. Can I eat your face?"

--bites_the_sun, discussing the horrors that dwell beneath the thunders of the upper deep.

Quoted from fox1013 with permission:


Okay. So let's look at politics.

And now let's compare it to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the wonderfully campy claymation Burl Ives film of 1964.

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by futurecfo in a response in the community columbus

I've been telling people if they spent 1/2 the time they do bitching doing something constructive they could make the world a better place. Columbus public schools needs tutors. Animals need homes and taken care of. Parks need maintained. If people think they can change the world by spending 3 minutes in a voting booth, just think if they spent 30 minutes a week with an underprivileged child tutoring them in math and teaching them that there is a big world out there and be a good influence.

You have only so much responsibility to offer olive branches to hostile people before it's time to decide that acting like assholes effectively makes them assholes.

inhumandecency, in a comment thread. The context wasn't political, but the sentiment could just as easily be.

From a response to an earlier post right here on metaquotes by forevergrey in which Australia invades the U.S.:

THE REVOLUTION CONTINUES!

After GW is desposded of, Paul Hogan will make an anouncement from the white house. As the shocked (and awed) American public are confronted with his strong words, strong accent, and their beloved president's body parts strewn round the background, Ninja-kangaroo's will patrol the streets of every major city in the US, brutally kicking down any resistance. Mutant Crocs will swallow whole America's navy, and cunningly positioned crates of beer will distract your standing military until it is too late.

All hail Generalissimo Hogan, supreme ruler of America, now renamed Greater Australis.

naamah_darling is having a Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day.

Shit. Is it PMS? Because emo-PMS this severe should be enough of a Disadvantage on my character sheet that I ought to be able to buy Filthy Rich or Secret Base with it. And yet all I have are a couple of sucktastick minions -- two brain-damaged cats who could not dominate a legless cricket even with help, and a three-legged dog whose only superpower is the ability to annoy his enemies to death with those ninety-decibel flopping sounds his lips make roughly every .5 seconds.

Neil Gaiman let's us know about the upcoming end of the world here

And on the subject, and for those of an apocalyptic bent, you may be relieved to know that Giant Squid are "Taking over the World".

A disapointed lisaofdoom said:

"Someone on the fourth floor has taken a "Vote or Die" signs and cut off the top 2/3 of it, leaving a giant angry command of "DIE!" hanging in his window.

I understand the feeling."

Just went to vote with my mother and father. Had a bit of a crisis of conscience, you might say, about who to vote for. So, in keeping with my ongoing zombie theme, I thought to myself "Who do I think would best help the country in the event of a zombie outbreak?" So I voted for Ving Rhames.

_projectgalem comments on Bonfire Night here.

Firstly, happy Guy Fawkes! Though I must say, with the amount of explosions going off around me I woke up wondering if Bush had decided to invate England because he opposed our love of tea and rugby! Though thinking about it, Bush would probably be quite proud of the English for having a tradition of burning an effigy of a terrorist who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

Is the abbreviated form really necessary? Couldn't they splurge for the ampersand? Really, is the second item necessary? What else was Arafat going to hover between? Life and pizza?

catsluvdmb, on the impending Christmas season full of smartass customers in need of something to cure what ails them (namely, stupidity):

I will declare biological jihad with my bronchitic bacteria to the next customer that strolls into my store and bellows, "It's beginning to look a bit like Christmas HAHAHAHAHA!"

Here.

by hystericalrealm

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