Metaquotes

While I am a huge fan of longwearing lip color, there is something to be said for taking it off before bed. On the other hand, when you get up to restroomize at 3:30 a.m. and look in the mirror, the wild-haired, pasty white, puffy eyed vision with a slash of hot pink lipstick is a bit of a glimpse into what your life might have been like had you chosen the career of cheap truckstop whore.

badmagic, theorizing on the possibility of homosexuals being possessed by demons:

So there's Belphanior and Abigor, newly embodied, ready to do the Devil's Work. They're considering the evil they have to do, when Belphanior says that Abigor makes him shiver when he gets intense like that, and Abigor notices for the first time that Belphanior has these wonderful deep brown eyes, and they have these human bodies on, it would be a shame not to, you know, try them out. Next thing you know, it's three days later, the bedsheets are on the floor, and the evil plans have been pushed to next week. Oh, wait, there's a party next week. Maybe the week after, if they can find the time.

Entire thought-provoking post available here.

"In fangirl stories, the guys are interchangeable, but they're all the same. They're the perfect boyfriend---if you like robots. They give flowers and candy and oral sex and compliments. You can call them Legolas, but you could call them Heathcliff, too, and it just would't matter---they all talk the same and do the same things. Boyfriends evidently exist just to pay for flowers, impress your friends, and fuck you silly." ginmar in a much longer rant ...

here= http://www.livejournal.com/users/ginmar/317435.html

robin_redbreast on Her excess of gmail invites:

"I've got an idea! I'll use my invite codes to take some of the more obnoxious names away from someone else. This way, I may never have to see "orlandoluvr@gmail.com"."

Found here

Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't try to poke him. Once in a while I get this weird urge to poke a baby and it's really difficult to suppress. It's like the only thing in my head is "Poke baby, poke baby. Must poke a baby." So sometimes when I come into contact with a toddler or a baby, I poke them when the mother isn't looking, just so I can get it out of my system while baby is available.

- twilightsecrets replying to a comment here.

tviokh keeps us updated on her spiders:

Mr. Tingles is fucking around with the colored gravel in her tank. I'm not sure what she's doing with it though. If she starts spelling out words, I may have to flee in terror.

They are not 'all the same,' they do not ALWAYS think about nothing but sex (if they did, it'd be impossible to actually hold a conversation with them) and there's a whole lot of them in this world, so if you stereotype them and think they're all the same big bunch of sex-crazed pigs, maybe you should leave the planet and live somewhere else, where you can sit around saying how much you don't need men and talk about overrated 'girl power' and then realize one day that you DID need men when your planet DIES OUT because nobody was there to think about SEX once in a while.

With religion, as with recipes, I am no good at following written instructions, so I'm not Wiccan or Asatru or any other organized system. I don't have the knack of dogma, so I mostly wrestle with catma.

bheansidhe in a Coming Out Day entry, with permission

"I'm pretty sure I don't have pr0n under the mattress, but I may want to check."

--erinpuff, expecting visitors

From a list of things that annoy tapedeck about HP fic:

Snape is a closet sensualist who deep down just wants to be redeemed by the love of a good woman.
What version of the books were you reading? He's a prickly character who gets his wick up over the slightest thing, hair-shirts his way through life and probably hogs the gravy at dinner. You might like him as a character, but you wouldn't invite him over for Christmas lunch.

Writing Peter out of the HP universe entirely.
My name is J.K Rowling. You killed my canon world. Prepare to die.

-- the rest are here :)

i think my ovaries are trying to escape, fuckers.....well, at least things means the cooter will bleed soon, hopefully...

~pyrohaze

Link

"i hate making sculpture in paper, why? b/c i can bloody crush it. i need not to work with anything i can break on a whim. i should have to work at breaking the shit i make, not be like.. arrrgghhh... crush. to death... and then a vile stream of curse words floods out of my mouth since i just killed my own project. i think i might burn mine and save the ashes forever."- from a_seeker4

They're not so much mascots as SINISTER OVERLORDS.
-bodhia on her school's mascot

Warning: evil goats.

Trevor: superman died
Me: yes, like, twice
Trevor: no, christopher reeve
Me: oh. damn.

calitetra, here.

apocalypsos reports on the health plan options she is being offered:

Most Expensive Plan -- "I spontaneously eject major internal organs when I sneeze and I'm allergic to air, thereby requiring an operation every thirty-seven minutes."
Medium-Sized Plan -- "I go to the doctor once a year to say hi and see how the magazines have been."
El-Cheapo Plan -- "I want a medical plan where I'm given a monkey and a rusty scalpel whenever I rupture body parts."

The ever-quotable spectacular:

They can take away just about everything from me, except my desperate aspirations to be a Scary Cat Lady when I grow up.

theaceofspades on religion...

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Here

By indigoskynet

You have invited Vader, Saruman, Scorpius, and Lex Luthor to Christmas Dinner, which is to say the dining ritual in celebration of the winter holiday that is overcommercialized despite its alleged religious roots...

Later, in the City of Townsville!

Yes! Meta-Metaquote me! It is only proper that I, Mooooooooooooooooooooojo Jojo, am given my rightful due, which is to say paid attention, given respect and adulation!

Ever since that gay marriage poll the AFA got whupped in, I've been receiving their "Action Alerts," mostly because I'm consumed by a sick curiosity as to what they're up to. For the last couple of weeks, they've been all over Procter&Gamble for supporting the homosexual agenda, and requesting that all good family-minded individuals boycott their products. You see, P&G has this strange notion that gays are people too, and should be treated as such. They even go so far as to *gasp* target advertisements to the homosexual community and *shock* include homosexuals in their list of people one should not discriminate against in the workplace. Yes sir, it's horrifying, let me tell you.

So of course, my thought is, "Okay, so what brands does this company own, and how many of them can I switch to cheaply?" Crest, Tide, Always, Bounty, Head&Shoulders...it's all stuff I buy when it's on sale, so I've just got to remember to stick with them when they're not 50 cents off. Simple enough. Next step: have a baby, so I can start buying Pampers. A gay baby.

-suntyger, here

From the lovely lzz, a post from a fair while ago.

Recently I have been listening to Gareth's supervisor talk about shapes on the radio each Tuesday morning. Today I learned that a sphere is not a bagel, but a teapot is a bagel, and hence the issue at hand is whether the universe is a sphere or a bagel.

I'm so glad I'm a linguist and not a mathematician. For a start, I am now slightly worried that somebody might come along, slice the universe in half, fill it with cream cheese and eat it.

things amativus learned at mtv.com

* Good Charlotte's latest single is named "Predictable". All of you who are still laughing, raise your hand.
* Education has moved to the forefront of the bling-bling playa field, as evidenced by Busted's new ode to the power of literature, mathematics, and the sciences, "What I Go To School For". Actually, I have no idea, I can't bring myself to download it.
* Some poor soul at MTV.com is still convinced his readers know who The Pixies are.
* Michael Jackson is demanding networks pull Eminem's new video from their rotation. It's because he's white, isn't it?
* In honor of this month's upcoming festivities, Usher has released a single praising the simple traditions of trick-or-treating, entitled, "My Boo". Charlie Brown sings backup.
* Britney Spears releases "My Prerogative". Vocabulary test scores raise 250%.
* Lindsay Lohan is releasing an album. I can't help but hope it is but the beginning of an ongoing rap diss between her and Hilary Duff. Bitch got served.
* Joel Madden from Good Charlotte is quoted, "I get laughed at every day." See above.
* Slim Thug is the post-Atkins reincarnation of Fat Joe.
* Along with Eminem's video, Michael Jackson has requested the removal of the new video by JoJo and Lil Bow Wow. His publicist said Jackson felt the video was "too disrespectful of the tender, alluring, sensual, erotic, lily-fleshed bodies of children."

the rest is here, and it's brilliant

Well hello my MORTAL ENEMY. - hprpsues on pottersues.

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