Metaquotes

Quoted from jelymo, with permission...

Ken Jennings: I'll take Tool Time for $200.
Alex Trebek: This term for a long-handled garden tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker.
Ken: What is a hoe?
Trebek: ... No.
Audience: *dies*

[The correct response was "What is a rake?"]

blueduck37 in politics4geekz:

By the way, I am totally using Bush's lines to get laid from now on. He's a smooth pimp.
Me: "Hey, you're cute. Will you sleep with me?"
Them: "No, sorry, I'm not interested."
Me: "Not interested? What does that say? You tell Tony Blair you're not interested. Tell Tony Blair you're not interested. Tell Silvio Berlusconi you're not interested. Tell Aleksander Kwasniewski of Poland you're not interested. Not interested?! What kind of message does that send to our troops?"

silverfist says "Sur La Table catalogs and Bon Appetit are the Playboy and Penthouse of my foodie world," and will someday write a Dear Bon Appetit letter. When kawaiinochan responds "I'd like to see that," silverfist comes up with ( Collapse )

moonfairyhime (I quote her a lot, have you noticed?) has decided to get her letter to Santa in early. The whole post is amusing, but here's a highlight:

I would also like for all terrible authors of the world to be decimated. Yes, I realize that suddenly half the world's population will be gone, but still, it will save natural resources. ...Yes, I also realize that like 60% of the internet will go silent, but that's okay.

Click here to read all of it (In festive red font!).

Damn you, darkeyedwolf, though you were at least creative.


You are beautiful.

Yeah, you. That's right. I'm looking straight into your eyes. Read this carefully -- you are magnificent. You are brilliant, wonderful, and no little amount of astounding. You are a beautiful and unique snowflake amongst a world of decaying gray matter. Every morning I wake up and contemplate ending my meager and hollow existence, however! a simple thought of you makes me smile and put my feet on the floor, anticipating a brighter day. You make me complete. You are beautiful.

You also want to buy me a paid account.

yansa is burned out on election mudslinging.

(gratuitous adorable animal shots)

karma_aster has the one of the funnier Freudian slips I've ever seen:

Karma Aster: (still hugging Miroku)...do I need to sleep you?
Karma Aster: SLAP! I meant slap!
Karma Aster: Oh, god, I totally meant slap.

Rachel: *from the living room, talking to herself while translating* Where does the fall go?

Me: *from computer in bedroom* Generally after the temptation.

~*~

elaby records a conversation taking place in the midst of Old English homework.

karma_aster expounds on political thinking as only she can... with Care Bears!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/karma_aster/65533.html

After reading the comments in this post on this community, zae decides in this post that the US elections should be held via a Celebrity Jeapordy competition. This is how he imagines it:

Trebeck: Ok, the final category is, you know what? *tears it in half* Just write a letter, any letter at all. An A, a B, or how about a C?
*time passes*
Trebeck: Ok, let's see what you wrote. George Bush wrote the number 5.
Bush: Aha, the letter 5 my friend.
Trebeck: No, 5 is a number.
Bush: I... can't read or write.
Trebeck: We know.

Alternatively:
Trebeck: George Bush drew a picture of an eye.
Bush: Well i is a letter, isn't it?
Trebeck: Are you American or retarded?

(Thank you, celebrity Jeapordy. Now, if only Sean Connery were running in the election.)

From jaina in the comments to her Gratuitous Icon Post:

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I was all set to tear you a new one, but all the good people in this community took care of it. --karnythia commenting on the very recent very off-topic scam post which may have been deleted by now...