Metaquotes

panamohnia talking about trying to convince his little brother to quit smoking:

"He argues that cigarettes offer a solace, a refuge from the hustle and bustle that accompanies his hectic sleep-eat-skate schedule."

This is a conversation that I had with my friend and roomate tonight, which found so amusing/creepy, that she decided to post it in her journal. I now, with her permission, share that conversation with you...although I promised her I wouldn't link back to her journal. Anyway, here are her words:

RANDOM, RANDOM!!!!
I am pausing in the middle of a game to bring you the screwey conversation of this evening.

Me: have you ever noticed how, if you squish a gummy bear, it kind of looks like a fetus?
MH: Yeah, you know, Spencers would be the place to carry those too.
Me: I know, I mean they already have gummy penises and gummy breasts, I think they would carry gummy fetuses
MH: I wonder if they would ever try to make a gummy vagina....
Me: I don't know, but if they did I know some guys who would try to make it fit.....
MH: I wonder if there are any girls who hav tried to make the gummy penis fit
Me: But they're only this big ::makes a motion that means "little"::......
MH: well yeah......
Me:...........JAMES!!!! COME BACK!!!

   Kenneth Hite (princeofcairo) talks about Neil Gaiman’s review of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke and refutes Gaiman’s claim that it is “unquestionably the finest English novel of the fantastic written in the last seventy years.” The entire entry is rather interesting, but the very end made me laugh:

Q: I still don't think you ought to be bagging on Neil Gaiman, Mister Unemployed Star-Trek-and-Templars Doofus.

A: Well, even Homer nods. And I'm sure there was some scabrous Ionian bard who eked out a few obols yarning about mystery cults and trireme adventure waiting to point it out on his LiveJournal, too.

From naamah_darling:


Field-testing sex toys has to be a blast. I'm not just talking about intended uses, either. I'm talking about dropping them off the roof, stirring milkshakes with it, using them to chase the cats. That sort of thing. It's important to know if your glitter-smeared jelly vibe balances evenly for throwing.

bgeezus' morning schedule:

4:30 AM - wake up

4:45 AM - eat breakfast. breakfast composes of dry cereal and orange juice. it is a breakfast of champions. who is a champion? ME because

4:50 AM - i type my essay last minute as it is due today at 8 in the morning and

5:54 AM - an hour later, I am done I AM CHAMPION I OWN YAY I WIN

I really need to stop busting this shit on myself. Now I shall go roll in victory.

From a post metaquoted earlier about suddenlyfemale!RemusLupin *twitch*...


I think this would be a lot better if Remus kept on liking girls even after he turned into one. Residual magic or something. He could seduce Lily away from James, then perhaps Sirius would discover that he was actually born an iguana and his parents put a spell on him at birth, and we're back to Ranma 1/2 crossovers.

-- phaballa


"Oh my fucking God, now I'm going to have to deal with being a monster twice a month!"

-- mipeltaja (imitating arghgirlnow!Remus)

...Derryderrydown can be counted on for a blisteringly honest answer. Cut for a bit of length and lovely lovely rudeness.

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posted with permission from biorhythm

If you're looking for a more adult costume (read: slutty) for halloween this year, try Frederick's. I was there yesterday and I was far too amused. They had a cop outfit I liked, but if I was going anywhere this year, I'd go as a mountie. Or as a nun. A nun with fishnets and a whip. I'm going to hell on a greased pole. As long as it vibrates on the way down.

from this entry.

from pottersues:


I GREW UP WITH A MAGIC STICK, DAMNIT! NOT A TACO SHOW!

Oh, the joys of omg!I'mreallyagirl!Remus. Read the madness here.

Comes the no drama Pillow!!

Get ready to be smacked!

-- permusicadastra

from cindyjade, with permission.

"I HAVE MADE GRAND CULINARY DISCOVERY!!!!!!!!1

and it is this: if you heat up bread in such a way it becomes a firmer, crunchier, crumblier version of itself. it becomes: blackened burnt GOODNESS.

and there are many things you can do with this new incarnation of bread! YES THERE IS. one might apply an appropriately sized THICK THICK THICK THICK layer of yellow grease or some sort of frooty jam. there is also the sprinkling of sugary cinnamon crystals and the ever popular sopping of one's bowl of TASTELESS oatmeal w/ said invention (making it slightly soggy but still edible!)

why yes i am a genius. and yes, i do need to go grocery shopping"

**actually, by fiddling around with an online concordance(Bible) you can find a great deal of text that features David and Jonathan kissing and crying. it's rather surprisingly like reading about Sam and Frodo.

--cmpriest

mcd000 is a Very Bad Influence. In a post about Erotic Game Shows (!), inspired by the earlier post by naamah_darling that was metaquoted:

...what it basically comes down to is the couples get worked over by the studio's professional 'aides', and whichever team can hold off from orgasm longest wins.

God help you if you get the goat or donkey, though. God help you.

"Mind you, being non-hetero is about to jump the shark big time, and those with an eye for the Next Big Thing might want to take a gander at asexuality."

the_gneech

"Naked" means you've got no clothes on. "Nekkid" means you've got no clothes on and you're UP to something! - a sig file on Bondage.com forums.

-from the talented and charming miss_manners

PS: There's been a very interesting discussion going on in my comments about Honeycrisp apples, and now I'm afraid to try one because I know, no matter how good they taste, I will be disappointed because they will not actually taste like honey. It's the iceberg lettuce fiasco all over again.

copperbadge, here.

commodorified on Ioan Gruffudd dropping his pants for a charity calendar:

Admittedly, a quick perusal of the gentleman's film and print career DOES kind of suggest that it is possibly harder to keep Ioan in his pants than it is to get them off of him. I assume for King Arthur, the wardrobe department glued them on or something.

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"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears

I think the idiots of the world have a new Dumbassador...
- severepsychosis

davehogg talks about going to the circus

Yes, I'll go to the circus. I'll even watch the clowns. Seeing clowns in the circus is like seeing a reptile at the zoo. It's
horrible, but at least they are being kept in a controlled environment. It is the free-ranging clowns that are evil.

Kindly unfriendlocked by its author the amazingly hilarious yep_i_am_dennis.

If you're drinking something...put it down. Now.

from glittersavvy:

I have had this theory for a while, but I only just put it into practice. If you throw glitter at a man, he will freak out and run away! ^^

I think I shall market it as rape prevention. Carry a tube around for self defense. Sure, it *looks* pretty, but you don't want it in your eye. Believe me. I know. I could make billions from guys' hatred of glitter. I tend to shower myself in it if I don't want boys getting over-enthusiastic, because they do *not* want to be covered in shiny bits.

This is also how women know their partners are going to strip clubs, because the dancers are typically doused in body shimmer - which is actually a very strategic idea. Get a lap dance and that glitter *never* comes out. You don't realize, but it's all an elaborate trick to fuck with chauvinistic men. Of course, if you don't have a partner, you've got no problem, but you'll still be covered in sparkly stuff. For. Ever. ^^

From bad_rpers_suck:

whitenights: So why isn't there more femmeslash in rp?
jennthered: Cause noone knows what to do when there's 2 slot Bs and no Tab As?
helios292: Easy. Interconnecting Peg C. *ponders IKEA Slashfic*
panteraonca: Will it come with its own flimsy-paper pictures-only foldout assembly manual?

anythingoes, discussing a bizarre line from today's pottersues entry:

Quote:
Then, a herd of Manatees, a very dark creature, stampeded through the ground leaving extensive damage.

For some reason I can picture them sorta going.. flawumph, flawumph, flawumph... as they move.. but stampede, no.

(off-topic, but who is the person with the Scar icon? Or am in the wrong community for that... because whoever you are, I drew you a picture.)

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Quoted from spotsofcolour with permission, with regards to the Royal visit to our school two days ago.

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Full entry here

It amuses me how territorial squirrels questing for food in the fall are. I was sitting around in a park, openly watching them and they started creeping toward me en masse. Not just one lunatic squirrel either. No there was a group of three or four who approached, stood up on their hind legs, fluffed their tails then laid the smackdown on me in squirrel chatter.

It was very "You wanna piece of this you pansy assed biped? Better watch yourself, yo. We buried the last three of your kind in the shallow ditch behind the bushes with the acorns..."

-inkysweet

And from abarero (friends only, but quoted with permission), whose icon only adds to the amusement.

Bleh, I have man germs on me. Flaming heterosexual man germs all over me.

If you ever brush your teeth at my house, check before you spit. Because my cat is weird.

From marabelle's entry here (first paragraph).

When I saw that line, my mind rebelled and decided to make my boss very mad at me. (Evidentally not everone likes water being splorted all over them. Then again, had she not been standing in from of me...)

And while on the subject of cars, I just want to state:
IF YOU ARE IN A TRAFFIC CIRCLE, DO NOT STOP UNLESS THERE IS AN IMMEDIATE EMERGENCY(ie: foolish pedestrian) CAUSING SAID STOP. DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND WAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN. THE WHOLE CONCEPT IS TO KEEP MOVING, ASSHAT.
ALSO - IF THERE ARE TWO LANES MERGING INTO A TRAFFIC CIRCLE, THIS DOES NOT MEAN ONE LANE GETS TO GO LEFT AND ONE RIGHT. YOU ALL GO THE SAME DIRECTION.

*sigh* It's a circle. Not an advanced astrophysics problem, people.


~silverbriar, discussing idiot drivers in a locked post, quoted with permission.

"John Edwards. He is teh sex. Cheney is old and busted." - sargiegirl76