October 6th, 2004



"I just have an interesting thing that i found out right now. As i was glancing at my small bottle of welch's grape fruit, i noticed that it's best if i drank it by mar of 3005. This was very intriguing.." - drunken_scott, here.
  • Current Music
    metric - rock me now

(no subject)

When i eventually got back to my uni house it appeared as if everyone had died, there was a neon pink umbrella ripped in half on the doorstep, inside the house posters had been torn from the walls and the kitchen was piled half a foot high with dirty dishes. The sound of wretching and vomting was drifting down the stairs from the 2nd floor bathroom and i realised that the freshers flu had invaded my house.

I had been hoping for a zombie epidemic, which the half burnt sofa and smashed car on my street suggested, but alas that is just the usual state of my road. Oh well.

--glitter_kittie and I share many important opinions on zombies, and the preference of zombie invasion over the invasion of freshers flu is just one of them.
  • cimness

For the firm

Rather, for whimsical reasons of our own, we simply decided to begin numbering our documents with WTF 00579 instead of, say, WTF 0001.

It is ... our way.

[...]As far as your concerns in re: nonsequential production, that would likely be the result of the wild orangutans we hired to do our bates stamping getting a tad over-enthusiastic when the bananas were delivered to the work room.

saffronhouse takes over as paralegal on an old case and writes a letter to a "High-Powered Attorney with the Big Name New York Law Firm". read the whole thing! here.
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    discovering something sticky on the mouse
[ calico cat ]

(no subject)

I'm not sure if Cheney and Edwards are going to mud wrestle or like, start making out.

Edwards keeps looking at him like, "Oooh yeah, big boy. Bring it."

I'm not sure what "it" is. It disturbs me.

-- tylergrrls

Edwards: Let's run away and have an illicit bipartisan presidential platform!
Cheney: Which of us would be on top?

-- tylergrrls

Halloween Hair

Pacts with Satan? That explains everything...

Original entry was

sarff_nodwydd discussed a not-too-bright fundy by saying:

Today's discussion revolved around prayer, intervention, hurricanes and Haiti. 1500 people died when the island nation was struck by Hurricane Jeanne. In the world according to Kaye, 1500 people died because 200 years ago a leader of Haiti made a pact with the Devil giving him dominion over the island.

Of course, that leads one to wonder what Jeb Bush did that caused Florida to become the target for four hurricanes.... in one month....in an election year. Floridians might want to just paint a target on the state capitol building.

In the comments, ursulagoddess replied:

Its all about what the context ... I can just see the headline now 'REPUBLICANS MAKE DEAL WITH SATAN'. The Devil, in a private interview with this reporter, says that he did not make deal with Florida Republicans. He presumes that Titan caused the damage to the said peninsula because of lack of voter turn out for the 2000 election. The Devil then went on to say that he would, 'Not be surprised if the Kerry supporters found their gardens weeded and lawns nicely manicured after the flood waters receded.' When asked further about his dealings with the Republican party, the Devil refused to comment, only to say that he felt that after Regan sold his soul to win the 1980 and '84 elections the Devil was disappointed to find out that the former president indeed had no soul to sell in the first place. 'We are still sorting out the details of (Regan's) after life, but if he thinks that I'm sending him back as a zombie to run in 2008, he's got another thing coming.'
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Whuh Huh?!

(no subject)

Cheney: I said Saddam was a terror linchpin. Terror is not synonymous with 9/11. Also Kerry is a total pussy. Global test? Hahahahaha. I am going to make you eat this for the next month!

Edwards: (totally cursing the speechwriter that came up with the phrase) Umm... Haliburton!

Cheney: ... I hate you like cancer.

Edwards: I have a dreamy smile.

Cheney: I have a pacemaker.

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Hairspray is b_^_^_d
  • miggy

(no subject)

Heh, reminds me of when I first saw the Little Mermaid. I was four years old and cheered at the line "I'm sixteen years old, daddy! I can do what I want!". I figured one day I would be sixteen and do whatever I damn well pleased because I would be an adult and I would know everything there ever was to know.

Now I'm twenty, and when I watch that movie, I'm struck with the overwhelming desire to reach in and pound the everloving shit out of that little merfreak.

-- phoenixdagger
Fear the Deputy


Speaking of AOL, one of the many downsides of its service is that random lonely strangers can IM you at any moment. Think you're safe because you've removed yourself from the AOL Members Directory? WRONG. My mother got an IM from some random guy tonight, and he started saying that he had never done drugs or broken the law. To which my mother responded: "Be still my heart! I have five children, so you better get started with the Christmas shopping!"

Long story short, my mother is awesome, and American Online is not.

- kevinm126
Freaked, K: DW Nine & Rose

(no subject)

I sincerely apologize for two doqz quotes in a row, but I just hit this one and I all WTF MAN?!

So, see...

I love you all.

But tomorrow it's time to start the killing.

Not that any of you should blame yourselves in any way.

This is not brought on by any of your actions.

I just decided it was time.

Also, I likes the killing.

But remember - Doqz loves you, no matter what.
He's like Jesus really.
Only with the killing.
And monkeys.

See you tomorrow.

You'll be the first.

The woes of moving

Accomplishments for last night: got all my food and the remaining plants (including a Jade plant nearly half my size; you try lugging a Jade plant the size of your torso up three flights of stairs while branches try to go up your nose or poke you in the eye some time) from the House of Evil. There was also a delightful moment where my small cactus decided to tip over and stab me in the breast, but we'll pretend that didn't happen. So, all that is left to do at the HoE is check on the boys to see how they are doing with finding someone for the room, and of course there's the recarpeting. Yay.

shawk tells her tale here.


bernmarx, on the recent news of Iranian missile development:

Don't fault Colin and Rummy, it was a typo. Q for N.

N has WMD and is threatening the United States. IraN!

Whoopsy. Dan Rather must have snuck into the CIA and screwed their keyboards up. They should have figured it out, when they were typing memos that said:

"Receqt evideqce shows overwhelmiqgly that Iraq is maiqtaiqiqg a stockpile of WMD aqd could nuickly lauqch a military strike agaiqst US iqterests."

Silly CIA.
  • Current Music
    Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Random - Trippy Colours

(no subject)

thefiske on the visit of "Mama Lu", who I presume is the mother of one of his roommates:

Some Chinese phrases I have picked up in recent days:

Areyoo hungary. - Good morning.

Eatsumorbee forugo. - Goodbye, good luck with your studies!

Icook foryoo now. - How about that weather, eh?

Whatdoyoo mean Jane isnot oorgirlfriend? - I respect your lifestyle decisions and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Found here.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

From kissingchaos9's post, with subheadings "The Good", "The Bad", and "The Ugly":

The Ugly


I just...I'm going to tell this story, and then we shall never speak of it again. Today, a customer LIFTED HER SHIRT and pulled SWEATY BILLS from her BRA and HANDED THEM TO ME TO PAY HER BILL. OMGIDIED. I DIED. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIED. And ran to the bathroom and washed my hands five times. And immediately sent the money to the bank. And sanitized the bank bag. And washed my hands again. And DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIED.
  • Current Music
    "Generation Lost" - Rise Against
Diary of a Hopeless Romantic

(no subject)

From a locked post (with permission!)
someblonde_035 :

Dear President Bush,
First, I would like to say thanks for coming to Farmington Hills, Michigan today. I hope you enjoyed your visit, and I'm sorry I couldn't make your 3:30 speech time, because, I WORK. I'm glad to see a lot of people did make it though, I could tell by the EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF TRAFFIC when I was trying to leave work.

(no subject)

Excerpts from a painfully amusing post by ann_septimus.

... so, you think "I'm a capable college student - of COURSE I can cut an apple and talk at the same time"...

Fingerprints grow back, right?

According to the doctor, this kind of cut "bleeds like stink", and honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what that means. And so I got a big bandage, a stack of gauze, and an instruction-care sheet that begins with the words "you have lost the tip of your finger".
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    amused entertained

(no subject)

emisi talks about car compensation:

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trebro knows that admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery:

Several minutes ago, I had on my desk, in order of aquizition:

an iced tea
a bottle of water
an iced coffee
apple cider

all of which were in various stages of completion.

Clearly, I may have a drinking problem.
  • Current Mood
    silly playful
All for you

(no subject)

Hello hello... my first post here. :)

hannah0100 on a track from Bjork's new album:

It's all bass-tastic and beatbox-ey, it's an interesting song to hear by Bjork, listening quality is enjoyable, but...there's something about it that makes you wanna join a cult...
  • Current Music
    311, "Last Straw"

It's a boy!

bookshop muses on the virtues of Sims 2.

Dear Sims 2,

I have known you but a short time and I already feel ours is a co-dependent relationship. You taunt me with your slow load times and hurt me with your gargantuan memory requirements. But I can't get free. I need you, you and your 3-dimensional goth-loving mpreg-friendly gay gay Sims. I can no more break these chains than I can figure out how to navigate using your stupid swirly scrolly zoom mouse controll thingy. Why must you abuse the one who loves you?
  • Current Music
    Weird Al, "Headline News"
joan holloway roses

Who wants to see Cheney eat a kitten?

Edwards: Ah'm charming.
Edwards: Well, um, anyway, I really feel that in the matter of -
Cheney: You're wrong.
Edwards: But, see, the thing is -
Cheney: The thing is you're wrong. And Bush rulez.
Edwards: But...we're spending trillions of dollars on -
Cheney: So wrong. No words for how wrong. Can't even express it.
Edwards: And - and no one has a job -
Cheney: Nah-uh. (does the Talk to the Hand thing)
Edwards: I...I...
Cheney: I served under 19 Presidents. I was George Washington's stable boy. Ergo, I win.
Edwards: ...
Cheney: And you're still wrong. About everything. Your name isn't even really John.
Edwards: *headdesk*
Me: *cries*

--la_petite_singe, on the Vice-Presidential Debate.
An Optimists Guide

(no subject)

from shaenie in a comment to this post from writer_in_black

Dear Ms. W.I. Black,

We at the Society for the Prevention of the Abuse of Caps Lock have become aware of your flagrant abuse of this form of communication, generally regarded as a means by which one may emphasize or "SHOUT" via a text-based medium.

We at S.P.A.C.L. would VEHEMENTLY appreciate your refraining from further abuse of said keyboard function, as pursuant to Section 12, subset 4121.5 of the Caps Lock Code of Conduct. If you continue to violate the C.L.C.C., you will be subject to a fine not to exceed ONE MILLION DOLLARS, as well as facing possible suspension of your Caps Lock priveledges.

Sincerest Regards,

Shaenie Boyd
President of S.P.A.C.L.
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    amused amused
Courtesy of missandrony

First Post!

"This past weekend some friends and I thought it would be great fun to travel to The Cities, which is two hours away. For those of you who've had fun traveling experiences with a group of four or five, let me ask this: "what drug did you give the others?" "

- dominogrrl
  • Current Music
    Richard Hell - I'm Your Man
dragon theflyingace
  • conuly

(no subject)

I found this here at </a></b></a>wetcircuitry's journal.

I've stopped getting pop-ups from the spyware on my system about HOT TEENS XXX and NAUGHTY SEXXX, and now I'm getting ads for Prada bags and Tiffany jewelry. WTF? The integrity of the internet has fallen to a new low.
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    cheerful cheerful