Metaquotes

Quoting an exchange of comments from an entry kellibunny made here
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9:23pm - Neaf gets home from the pub.
10:17pm - Neaf runs face first into her (closed) bedroom door.
10:24pm - Neaf wonders how much longer her nose can bleed.
10:27pm - Neaf locates med kit
10:34pm - THERE'S A BANDAID UP MY FRICKING NOSE OMG LOOKIT.

-neaf

felisdemens gives a warning to all of those who use shortcuts while typing:

If you cannot take the time to type out words like "to", "you" and "are" in your on-line communications, nobody will ever. EVER. have sex with you. You have been warned.

From this very amusing, and yet very angry, post.

bobbyq78 gives us his Thought of the Day:

Conservatives say they're against excess sex and violence in media. So it naturally follows that some of the brightest Republican stars are such family-friendly acts as Britney Spears, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. Not to mention such unquestionably suitable-for-all-ages entertainment as Alice Cooper and Gene Simmons.

from pottersues:

Today I read an article about tarantulas. There was a bit where it talked about a pet tarantula which was kept in an aquarium with multicoloured gravel in the bottom, and the spider, apparently not having anything better to do, spent a few weeks meticulously sorting the gravel into piles by colour. In other words, not only are tarantulas big, hairy, ugly, and have colour vision, they are smart enough to get bored. This worries me deeply.

Democrats and other liberals were stunned last night, when president Bush wolfed down a baby after thinking that the cameras were no longer rolling. Amidst cries of disgust and anger from his opponents, the Bush administration released the following statement:

“President Bush’s actions were patriotic and wholly American. The baby in question was, in fact, a terrorist baby and it is only thanks to the quick action of our leader and savior that aforementioned infant did not destroy thousands of American lives.”

- city_of_dis. READ. NOW.

And do NOT stare directly into the sexy blue icon.

read the whole post; it made me snarf into my useless degree:

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From the journal of moumusu :

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I just had a guy come ask me if I could give him an improved vibrator- one that would shake him to the core.

He was talking about the vibe option on his cell phone...but still, I'm gonna be laughing for awhile.

meapet, here.

And I just saw the ingredient 'Urea' listed on my cold sore goop packaging. But I wouldn't even care if it had 'Mashed Kittens' listed as an ingredient, they would have died for an extremely good cause.
-gutterheart, who is funny, British, and has coldsores.

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From
gardenstateblog

Taken from the Journal of medie:

There's no butt shots allowed in the Presidental Debates?

Wait, that means they can't film Bush at all. The guy *is* an ass.

*cackles*

Funniest thing that happened today:
I take notes in an introductory biology class taught by a very butch female prof who I've known for some years. She was teaching about phospholipid semi-permeable membranes in cells.

Prof: And what must we always remember about unsaturated fats?
Somebody: They're bad for you? Or good for you? I can't remember.
Prof : [look of profound disgust] They. Are. Kinky. [shrieks gleefully] Kinky kinky kinky!
Jane: begins snorgling uncontrollably.
Prof: Unsaturated fats have ...?
Somebody: Double bonds?
Prof: Yes! And this means that the chains are kinky! They're bent!
Jane: snorts so hard people stare at her
Class: looks blank
Prof: if you have a can of mazola oil and a handful of lard, which one is kinkier?
Jane: dies
Prof: The mazola oil! Because it's from a plant. Kinky kinky kinky kinky kinky. [pauses, smirks] There. You learned something today.


The class does not laugh. What the hell is wrong with kids today?

--found in the LJ of 3jane