Metaquotes

From velvetglove's post here:

For $2000, I could probably buy a real boy, at least for the short-term, although I bet I couldn't convince him to let me pop his eyes out for a mere two grand.

[Edit: For the benefit of all who've commented, alyfan made my icon. She is responsible for the now-infamous Tickle Monster. :) ]

I have new underwear and new boots. Some of the new underwear is GREEN! Get some body paint and you need nothing more for total camouflage.

--almighty_frog

From coloredvision:
Back in the day when I first started getting a bazillion usernames various places online, you could get almost anything. That was nice. A bit later, they started running out of normal ones, so people would choose things like xXMoRoNXx and ~*~H00ChiE88~*~ and 69IGN0RME69 and the like.

Now I run across an insane number of usernames, particularly on LJ, that are some variation on a ton of underscores and then a random "deep" word. As if ________chimera, or even better, __________apathy somehow symbolizes that they are flatlining from the pure emo-ness of their life. They are cooler than you, because they have one word in their username and they like Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service, only they refer to them as dcfc and tps. Only people with good eyesight are allowed to read their journal, because it's all in a 7 point font, just like their userinfo, which often has a dramatic & slightly blurry (or, less often, high contrast) photo of them. And they want you to remember that they are cooler than you, even as they call themselves dorks and losers.

The insanely-amusing lykaios discusses politics in this post!

Having just recently discovered these guys on fandom_wank, I’m all about opportunities for the mocking and the looking at the sheer WTF? factor of it all.

Fandoms and politics just shouldn’t be mixed, yo.

wizardsforbush

...

oh, i get it.

the death eater faction weighs in!

eta: right, right, vote for bush till the cows come home, but why harry potter? i don't understand wizardsforbush (nor why anyone supports this president), and i didn't understand mugglesfordean. i mean, what?

what?

that's it. i'm starting "short dishwater blondes who are intrigued by medieval history and have bad backs for kerry."

Quoted with permission by the ever amusing: breathenforluck

Earlier we were watching The Dreamers, and I decided to make s'mores.

Well, it was a really gritty, sexual, part of the movie, and my s'more is cooking, and we smell smoke. Well, I'd burnt the hell out of it.

Now, it's well known in our building that the slightest thing sets off the smoke detectors. So we threw open the door and window, and were fanning like crazy. I was paranoid that the alarm would go off and we'd have to evacuate, so I started screaming, and I quote:

TURN OFF THE PORN! TURN OFF THE PORN!

Yeah.

Our neighbors must love us.

From this post by magdalene1:

I'm cleaning out the fridge today. In the back, I found something encased in tupperware. Stupidly, I opened the tupperware. And almost immediately, I vomited - into the tupperware (Don't worry, J. - not one of yours).

Bye bye, fake off-brand tupperware. Bye bye, breakfast. And bye, bye mystery decay casserole with fresh puke topping! I think you might have once involved tuna.


(bf mine)

from felician_logic


Milk with ... milk
Was craving something sweet, but I'm out of fruit and chocolate. What to
do?Poured myself a glass of milk and stirred in a tablespoon of my False
Chai. Microwaved. Hot sweet spicy milk! Not hot chocolate but hot...what? Now
this needs a name. Tempted to just call it a Spicy Udder and be done with it.
But I think peeps would cringe.
"Would you like a Spicy Udder?"

"..."

"?"

"...no...that's ok...I'm fine..."

"You're sure...cause I can just whip one out..."

"NO!....no...really...that's ok...

"It's no trouble..."

"Yes...yes it is."

At the current rate of progress, 75% of the world should be overcome with cuteness by the end of 2005. At this time, the President of the Baaaaaby Animal Council (currently an adorable little turtle named Stanley) will declare that baaaaaaaby animals rule the earth, and they will rise up and enslave the human beings of the world. They will be cruel and merciless taskmasters, forcing us to work in the kibble mines or just eating us on a whim (or, god forbid, just toying with us until we die, then burying us under the porch). Fear not, however, for we won't mind this torturous labor because wookit the widdle nose!

--joeyhemlock laments the eventual fate of the human race in baaaaabyanimals

I think Bon Jovi's "Livin on a Prayer," would be much better if instead of the titled "livin on a prayer" line, he sang "shotgun bear!" instead. I think everybody would be happier. Especially bears with the manual dexterity and intellectual capacity necessary to dual wield shotguns.

- gomijin here discusses Bon Jovi lyrics.

Finish reading, I think I peed a little from laughing.

takhisis complains about the usage of 'loose' as opposed to 'lose' here...

http://www.livejournal.com/community/grammar_whores/2740425.html?view=14785993#t14785993

"LOOSE some weight? Like loosing the hounds? You just drop a leash and your fat goes baying off over the horizon? Gosh, that sounds easy!"

(Whenever I notice that my name isn't on the list of banned and challenged authors, I feel faintly like I'm letting the side down. Although I suspect all I'd have to do to get on the list is to write a book about naked, bisexual, hard-swearing wizards who drink a lot while disparaging the Second Amendment, and I'd be home and dry.)


i <3 neil gaiman!!!!!!!!

More from glittersavvy and her DiscMan:

Tonight's episode of Super Sam and Disc-Man:

Sam: *dance*
Discman: *skip*
Sam: *dance*
Discman: *doubleskip*
Sam: *squint* What is it, Discman?
Discman: Lo batt
Sam: Low...flying...batts? But where?
Discman: Lo batt
Discman: *beep*
Sam: Don't you quit on me, Discman!
Discman: *blank*
Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOO

---

also from glittersavvy:

I love wrong numbers.

Guy: Hello, is Johnny there please?
Sam: ...Unfortunately, no. I think you have the wrong number.
Guy: Oh, I'm sorry.
Sam: No worries. Let me know if you find him!
Guy: ...OK...

Awwww. XD

---

and later on:

The phone just rang again - I thought it was the guy calling me back to say he'd found Johnny...it wasn't. I'm quite disappointed. XD