September 19th, 2004

Willow by 'Lothy'
  • lots42

From Hmfeelyat

' My dad ordered 13 Going On 30 on pay per view. ...my DAD. Are there ANY writers who don't think to themselves, "Gee, I'll do a movie that turns kids into...ADULTS! Ooh, that's original. I deserve a box of puppies!" '
Gen Default Lily Me
  • elucreh

(no subject)

In other news, I really did realise just now that I woke up wearing red, white, and blue. This is clearly a sign, on a day of understanding signs...I'm just not sure if it means I should be snooty, practise colonialism, or engage in imperialistic warfare.

Perhaps all it means is that I am not going to wear red shirts with blue underwear ever again, if there is the slightest possibility I will fall asleep in my clothes.


--channonyarrow

The difference between herodotusjr and a normal person

The difference between me and a normal person
NORMAL PERSON
c4bl3fl4m3: Stop singing in public! ::hits Normal Person::
Normal Person: Ow! Quit it! Quit it! Alright already, I’ll stop!

ME
c4bl3fl4m3: Stop singing in public! ::hits me::
Me: Ow! I’m not going to stop! Punishment is an ineffective operant!


Wow. Yeah. Clearly I didn’t sleep through ALL of Learning and Motivation…
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
britta guns - shelightsupwell

When Burger King Runs Out of Burger Meat...

...We heard him say something that sounded, tone-wise, very *very* condescending. Then Ace was silent. Then Ace took a deep breath. Then we heard Ace give a very clear, "Oh - you di'nt. You did NOT just say that, sir" and we figured it was over. Then we heard the headset hit the floor, and in what seemed like an eternity spanning over only a few seconds, looked up to see Ace hurl herself out the door, past the customers, around the store - and out towards the white explorer.

Sandra was like, "ACE! NO! FUCK, NO - ACE!!" and she told me to hold the front up, so I did. Sandra was trying to get Ace back into the building (she was chasing the man down 192. Do you think I'm kidding?), and I was all alone with the lunch rush. This ugly guy who looked like he was very lonely at age 40something, was like, "Why is there no burger meat. Why. This is burger king. You people arent doing your jobs. This is BURGER King."

To which I replied (am I getting better with my Joss, Kit :D), "This is Chicken King today sir. May I take your order?" ... beckyincharge. Read the rest of her day at work here. Worth a read, her Burger King stories are hilarious.
  • Current Music
    The West Wing 02x03 Midterms
foxie kicks ass

(no subject)

From the ever amusing fox1013...

In honor of Banned Books Week, the list of the top 100 Banned Books, as stolen from altoidsaddict. Books I've read are bolded. My comments in brackets. My guesses for why they're banned are in perens. If I don't have an answer, I'm interested to hear why.


7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling (Magic! Magic! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?)

8. Forever by Judy Blume (Is this the one with masturbation?)

11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman (Lesbians = Evil. Duh.)

12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier [I never read this one, because I already knew the ending. Sam... dies.]

37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood [I loved the book, but I don't think I can ever read it again.] (I'm surprised this one's banned. I thought the banning people SUPPORTED subjugating women.)


38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George (There's stuff on menstruation. Heaven forbid a girl doesn't think she's going to hemorrhage to death.)

46. Deenie by Judy Blume [I read about six pages and then got bored. I loathe Judy Blume books.] (Does THIS Judy Blume book have masturbation?)

62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume [Oh, Judy Blume. This is one of the few I've read start to finish, and it took me forever.] (Oh! Oh! This one DEFINITELY has menstruation!)


All found here and it with all it's comments is seriously funny. =P
  • Current Music
    Criminal - Fiona Apple
springtime the pony

Slash and Sea Bass

laurelin_kit: (celebrating 'Talk Like a Pirate Day') So, I be here, sittin' like a lunkhead in the dining room surrounded by a whole sea of furniture. And as bored as a sea bass.

sweetpiglet: How bored are sea bass?

laurelin_kit: If YOU were a sea bass, wouldn't YOU be bored?

sweetpiglet: It would depend on how many hot male sea basses there were, how many other female sea basses there were, and the percentage of gay males.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
dancing squirrelly

From the amusing meig

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
ohdear
  • erlking

(no subject)

From bites_the_sun's scathing and hilarious rant concerning the horrors of plastic surgery reality shows.

" . . . Add to this three grinning, Z-list twats (Daniella Westbrook, Vanessa Feltz and some unidentified, earnest Yank) all boggle-eyed and squeaking about how amazing it is that you can now have your twat tightened or your lips inflated until they resemble that of a cartoon fish. How it's worth shelling out a fortune so that your spoilt, insecure teenagers' tits can resemble that of a porn star (I mean, think of the self-esteem boost!). How exciting it is to be able to have fat sucked off your lazy arse because you can't be bothered to exercise or eat right. And how it's so, so worth the risks of scarring, infection and acquiring debt equal to that of a third world nation to *drumroll* look your best.

"It's going to be a
beautiful society,' says some permatanned American twit whose soul is obviously composed of little more than liquid greed and tooth whitener. . . ."

The Whole Entry.
  • Current Music
    Carbon - Tori Amos
Winter
  • marveen

On vegans and societal perceptions

I ran across this over at customers_suck, in a discussion of the general public's reaction to vegans:


"Reason #1827382 to hate PETA: the way it makes people who discover my veganity say "WELL I EATS TEH MEATZ" and then look at me expectantly, like I'm supposed to club them over the head with a butternut squash and feed them to starving piglets in a fit of vegan wrath or something."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Peacock

Tiny bubbles...

mactavish says, here:

I strongly recommend that, if you're very tired, but want to take a nice hot shower before bed, that you either suds up your face, rinse your face, then inhale deeply of the wonder that is the steam from a hot shower, or inhale deeply, then suds, then rinse, as either of those feels better than sudsing, inhaling deeply, then rinsing.
domino--by chuchan

Yarrr...

chuchan has some fun with Talk Like a Pirate Day:

Saucy while I may be, I also be a lazy wench, an' I rose from th' comfort of me bed fairly late in th' afternoon. When me nights are well spent in th' crow's nest, if ye catch me drift, well then, I needs me rest for another go. Yarr.

I was haunted by many deep visions from th' world beyond. In one of me dreams, my former shipmate -- let us name him Cabin Boy X -- had announced to th' port he be gettin' smartly hitched to a lady he'd only just met. I was justly offended an' refused to attend th' service. When asked why, I bellowed to th' skies, "BECAUSE HE BE ONLY SEVENTEEN!" It seemed he was only takin' th' plunge as a way to th' lady's bedchamber, as no one else would do him th' honor. I was ready to reveal him in me Ship's LiveLog, an' he sent me many an Instant Bottle Message tryin' ta patch things over.

*small breather* Really, I don't put it past him to do a thing like that, either.