September 15th, 2004

mt piro in floor

(no subject)

jgrafton:
Highlight of the evening: the officers were polling the 20 or so of us who showed up for our interests.

"How many of you like coding?" Nearly everyone raises his hand.
"... unix/linux administration?" Nearly everyone.
"... web administration?" Nearly everyone.
A few others, all with high levels of hands, then... "How many of you have been on a date?" About three or four of us raised our hands. Zing!

on Spartan values

RYAN: The men all had to eat together in common areas.
ME: Why?
RYAN: Equality. So that the poor man wouldn't go home to a small meal while the rich man went home to a big one.
[Later]
RYAN: When a man was married, he would go to his bride in complete darkness, and then head right back to the barracks afterward.
ME: Equality. So that one man wouldn't go home to an ugly wife while another man went home to an attractive one.
--gamesiplay in a locked post, quoted with permission

Addressing a very real need

There should be a word especially to mean "crappy animations that keep making the page resize so the scrollbar keeps winking in and out of existence", so I can scream it as I swing a bloody machete.

--lederhosen, in an entry about the "Night Travels of the Elven Vampire" review quoted here awhile back. He took the further self-sacrificing step of going to see the webpage.
wind

(no subject)

From aethyrkitten:

Through careful consideration, I have decided that Jesus is a Mary Sue, and the New Testament is badly written Old Testament fanfic.

Think about it. Jesus is supposed to be absolutely flawless physically as a reflection of his absolutely flawless soul, he helps everyone he meets, he gets even people who betray him to suddenly angst and feel so bad that they did it, and he does this big martyr thing for the sake of all humanity. Everyone loves him, even the people who offed him, and he comes back from the dead to avoid an unhappy ending. God is written completely out of character and may as well be a totally different deity than Yahweh of the Old Testament.
years go by

Barbie sex

when i was little, maybe six or seven, a friend of mine came over, stripped down a barbie and a ken, and started smacking them together and proclaiming "THEY'RE SEXING!" i was mortified on their behalf - when *i* made my barbies have sex, i locked them in empty cabinets to give them their privacy :P

~wireandroses in this entry at qow
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Life.

The problem with growing crops....

For those of you who don't read Neil Gaiman's blog or LJ feed:

....After making several gallons of salsa, in different kinds and colours and hotnesses, it became apparent that I hadn't even made a small dent in the tomato crop. Ah well, this is the time of year that people in this part of the world start locking their cars, because if they don't someone will leave bags of vegetables on the front seat. I'll think of something....

My neighbor says the same thing... *eyes giant garden a few doors down* I'm actually rather happy we don't HAVE a car....
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phoenix ezzicons/xiggy
  • conuly

(no subject)

There's a whole circle of Hell reserved for people like those two. On that circle, the souls of the damned are stripped naked, covered in catnip, and made to walk shoulder-deep in an ocean of kittens. And the kittens all have rusty nails instead of claws. And every Thursday Satan sprays them from a garden hose.

From shig23 as a reply here in mock_the_stupid.
Kakashi wolf

Sock puppet Shakespeare.

madbard comments on a locked post from eilonwy (posted with permission)

Sock Puppet 1: We are glad you asked.
Sock Puppet 2: The theatre is our passion.
Sock Puppet 1: That is right. And our directing technique is reknowned throughout the land.
Sock Puppet 2: We will stage a little demonstration. Let us say my colleague is playing Macbeth. Start acting.
Sock Puppet 1: Is this a dagger I see before me?
Sock Puppet 2: Now I will direct. First, not so stiff.
Sock Puppet 1: Okay. Is this a dagger I see before me? Or what?
Sock Puppet 2: No, no, no. With motivation. You need motivation. Make the audience, believe.
Sock Puppet 1: Is this a dagger I see before me? Because I could really use a dagger.
Sock Puppet 2: Mmmm... I'm not feeling the Scotsman. Could you put "Mc" before every syllable?
Sock Puppet 1: That would sound stupid.
Sock Puppet 2: Excuse me, but who is the director here? We need authenticity.
Sock Puppet 1: Then maybe you shouldn't have added a car chase to MacBeth.
Sock Puppet 2: Don't critique my vision! Since you can't act Scotish, put the dagger in your mouth so nobody will be able to hear your lousy acting.
Sock Puppet 1: Mmmhmp hmpmmph mphmddger mhgpmhp mmph?
Sock Puppet 2: What?
Sock Puppet 1: MHhmpm mphmm pmhmmh -
Sock Puppet 2: What are you saying?
Sock Puppet 1: I SAID I CAN'T ACT WITH A STUPID DAGGER IN MY MOUTH!
Sock Puppet 2: You can't act ANYWAY. You're not even union.
Sock Puppet 1: And now I shall demonstrate the true meaning of the word "cut".
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new girlie here.

Hi! This is my first post in this community. Actually this is my first LJ post ever! I was cruising around the site and randomly found this:

"There are very few records of *Ms. Hawthorns' existence, but a popular theory seems to be that she's the demon spawn of Satan. Either that, or she just has really bad hemorrhoids."

"Being the responsible, caring girl that I am, I did the only thing I could do: rolled my eyes and stalked off, muttering over my shoulder that he shouldn't be such a drama queen. Honestly, I'd known gay hairdressers that couldn't compete with that."

"We wind up hiding in a tiny broom closet.
Door Boy asks if he can kiss me.
I mutter a few select words in Irish.
He asks me if I'm fluent in German.
Go to smack him lightly in the shoulder, but miss as it's pitch black.
Settle for glaring at what I assume to be the vicinity of his chest."

"We ride through various cities until we reach a place I've never heard of before, and we slide off the train looking suspicious. After a furtive glance around, we decided that yes, this would be a good place to start a new life. Or, you know, get a burger."


januaryarsonist discussing the adventures of her day. You can find the full entry here.
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Artsy me - by Micha
  • maidden

The official screamer

Hey, long time lurker, finally found something quote-worthy to make me join. This here from pointy_objects journal:

Ms. B: Oh, and I wanted to talk to you about your scream...
Me: Yeah, about that...did I actually scream? I kind of blacked out, and all I remember is opening my mouth...
Ms. B: Yes! You screamed very well. I'd like for you to be our official screamer. There's a few backround screams in the play, and I'll need you to step in.
Me: Oh, yes...of course...thank you...!
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    Into the night