Metaquotes

From cabell:

Actually, the twitty little freshman who snidely asked me if I couldn't POSSIBLY scoot over on the bench at the bus stop earlier when I was already practically hanging off the edge would have totally deserved it if I'd barfed on her. I could have been like one of those lizards that squirts blood out its eyes at predators.

From this post by eslyssa, quoted with permission:

"My message to the male population of the world. Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one."

The following people suck:

Everyone.

Exceptions:

Anyone who's reading this.

That is all.


--Jack Ichijouji, here

beccak1961 The whole entry is funny as she talks about her lack of craft talent

( Collapse )

and on an upcoming math test:

Haaaate. If I drop bus. math I can't graduate next spring, if I fail I can't graduate next spring. I need to really sit down at the table, with Jim, and force this into my brain like some parasitic alien egg that will burst forth fully grown during my test tomorrow.

Random musings from danvers

Male genitalia isn't exactly artwork. God must have been hammered on that day. I mean, put the vagina up against the penis. the vagina wins hands down.

Also, stories where the mens don't use lube, without fail make me hear that Johnny Cash song. Y'know, the one about the ring of fire and how it 'burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire.'

The Bourne Supremacy was soooo loooong. That car chase? Sweet jesus, I watched it for like HALF AN HOUR, then I looked down to text someone, and got a text back, and replied, and when I looked up it was STILL GOING ON.

Having said that?

NNGGUAAHHHFFFFFUCK. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ON MY RUSSIAN HITMEN IN LEATHER FETISH. THAT WASN'T A BLATANT STAB AT EVERY RECOVERING X-PHILE IN THE AUDIENCE OR ANYTHING. Also, Marton Csokas pulling those handcuffs tight with his teeth. Mmmmmrrrr.

-- hisgreyeyes

http://www.livejournal.com/users/cleolinda/157513.html?view=2449737&style=mine#t2449737

(Oddity in my junk mail folder: We can slash your monthly expenses! WATER/ELECTRICITY OTP! THEIRLOVEISSOFORBIDDEN!)

"Have you heard the Good News about our Lord and Savior---"

Let me guess: he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Geico.

By necturus, here. (Quoted with permission from both necturus, who said it, and browngirl, in whose journal it appears.)

Real Life is what happens when you turn the computer off. It hardly ever features smut, or friends lists, or kindness to strangers. Real Life is a place where people play Minesweeper or Solitaire when they're bored at work. Real Life is where people spend more time watching television (or, hell, for that matter, sleeping) than they do in front of the computer thingie that they still vaguely fear. Real Life is where people pay for their porn. In other words, Real Life is filled with people so different from us that they're probably a new species.

-- thefourthvine

cette_vie ponders in a locked post, pastede on yay here with permission:

Bizarre question: how do you tell Neil Gaiman that he's spamming your flist?

Apparently she has lots of spiders in her apartment, but she only kills the ones she sees:

I figure I'm doing them a favor, really. If you're stupid enough to wander down the wall while I'm in the shower or walk across my desk while I'm sitting at it, you don't deserve to breed. Years from now, when spiders take over the world, they'll have me to thank for it: I culled the idiots that were holding them back.

Full whimsical post here.

From this post, discussing the absolute batshit insanity of the Phantom of the Opera fandom:

nae_trews: Phangirls don't only make the baby Jesus cry, they make him get out his razor blades and Evanescence CDs.

"I've been going around for twenty years traumatised by a damn episode of The Smurfs."
- quizzicalsphinx on officialgaiman

(I'm not telling you what led up to this, because I want you to read the whole comment.)

from DUH!

When Israel's Queen Jezabel decided to throw herself out a tower window, she first put on makeup so she wouldn't leave an ugly corpse. Apparently, it didn't occur to the queen what would happen to her carefully made-up face when she hit the ground.