September 10th, 2004

Chest puff!

as the school year begins anew...

ravenblack on resetting one's body clock:

How does one do that? By staying up through an entire extra day, then getting a nice long catch-up sleep at the end of it. For example, if you usually go to bed at midnight, instead stay up until about 8pm the following day. The extra twenty hours of awakeness is conveniently matched to a mere extra four hours of sleep, and leaves you feeling fully rested. This seems like an excellent deal - why not stay awake for thirty-four hours and sleep for fourteen all the time, you might think. The answer to that is that you unfortunately can't do anything requiring competence with the last half of the awake-time. It's a good thing to do during a holiday, perhaps, as you get better value for your time and everything's funnier when you've been awake for more than twenty hours, but you shouldn't be driving or operating heavy equipment such as knives and forks.
  • Current Music
    "Shade of the Hand of Fear" - Jennifer Nettles Band
aladdin - pretty jasmine

(no subject)

By miss_mo in black_lesbians

Missy (lawd knows i got madd love for ha) but ya'll fa real..have u ever really sat and listen to Missy's Lyrics. I know it's hard to get past that krunk beat but dude she's not really rappin bout nothin. Hell she could be rappin bout wholey socks and we wouldn't care *imitatin Missy* "I got my wholey socks on..stuck my toe out where tha seam was sewn..siggy siggy sewn. I got mah wholey drawl to match my wholey sock when da wind blows it really airs my ass out"
  • Current Music
    The Postal Service - Sleeping In
Shallot Myriad

I also want to marry Ioan Gruffud, but for different reasons

Oh, the joys of Law School, as experienced by the ever delightful bear:

I need to marry Ioan Gruffud. Or possibly Doug Mientkiewicz. Even Mike Krzyzewski would do.

That way, I wouldn't have my tax professor saying, "Miss EasilyPronounceableLastName, why did Congress write the Internal Revenue Code to exclude tax on gifts?" followed by half an hour of equally bizarre questions (on his part) and flailing (on my part).

Mientkiewicz never would have been called on in law school. The profs would look at his name and run right into the welcoming syllables of Mr. Evans or Miss Blake or Mr. Smith.


Found this on a random search, is public, is FUNNY - read the whole post here: offkilter

The leprechauns were jelouse of the gnomes in gaining tv popularity, and overtaking the leprechauns in modern folk lore. After trying to kill off the gnomes, the leprechauns realized it was to no avail. For, gnomes were invinceable. This lead to the fuze mating idea. Using high tech labs, and one gnome captive, the leps succesfully cross breed the two.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Whuh Huh?!

(no subject)

phosfate: In the Buffyverse we are fortunate, because we [write fanfic] with the overt approval of Joss Whedon himself. Of course, that will offer all the protection of a Kleenex flak vest if Fox decides to go after you. Still, it's nice of him.

wankprophet: Hmmm...tinfoil hats...kleenex flak up: plushy codpieces!

snacky: Just wait. Someone's gonna ring your bell next Halloween, all dressed up like that.

  • divabat

(no subject)

echoingvista's family being funny :

Tim: *playing game on new phone*
Mom: ... Phones are supposed to be for calls.
Dad: But you have to play a game in order to do that.
Me: *nods* Pass level 1 and you get to recieve a call.
Tim: Pass level 2 and you get to answer said call.
Dad: Pass level 3 and you get to make a call.
Me: If you win the game, you might be able to send a txt.
Dad: Maybe.


So my sister started highschool Wednesday. Tuesday night, that Old Navy commerical, for "feel good fashion" with the girl raving about history comes on.
Mom: I dare you to do that tomorrow.
Me: I'll give you 10 bucks if you do.
Meg: Like $10 would do me any good.
Tim: I'll give you 20.
Meg: You two are crazy. I wouldn't do that for $20.
Mom: ........ I'll give you $100.
Me: Shit, I'd do that for $100.
new meez, default

New TV season reviewed

ladysprite, on TV Guide and the new fall lineup:

I have wasted far too much of this evening reviewing their annual 'New Fall Shows' issue. Having looked at the entire spectrum of offerings, I can state with certainty that this year tv viewers will certainly be getting the pick of the litter when it comes to new shows. Unfortunately, the litter has been used by a geriatric cat with intestinal distress.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
K: Hey Stupid!, K: The Unholy Duo, Dogmatix, K: Lesbian Again, K: Laughing Out Loud

(no subject)

In this thread about fanfic that seems to exist purely to indulge the writer's love of tormenting characters:

quixotic_sense: In those cases, I generally suggest finding the nearest fetish club think of the fics as being essentially self-indulgent. Not that fanfic isn't self-indulgent in general, but there's luxuriating in one's id and then there's covering oneself in melted Swiss chocolate and rolling on a bed of the finest gold powder.

Mighty Boosh: B! JULIAN SAID B!

(no subject)

Says scriblix:

Today is Friday.

In work, that means it's Fry-day. Yum.

However, today, I have (re-)learnt a valuable lesson.

NEVER EVER EXAMINE THE SAUSAGE. Just close your eyes and eat. If you look, you'll never go near them again.

...oh, the innuendo. ;D
  • Current Music
    Shasta - Vienna Teng
todd cocaine

dovil does it again...

in a post from work:

I'm a little teapot,
Short and stout,
I'm full of boiling water,
Ahhhhh, it burns, ahhhhhhhhhhhh!*


*A children's rhyme. If you don't know the proper version you had a deprived childhood and you should definitely bring it up with your therapist at your next appointment. Stupid parents!

The comments are pretty damn priceless too. Ah, boredom.
panda in teacup

(no subject)

I had a dream that Leonardo DiCaprio did the following to Sylvester Stallone: impregnated him, tied him up, and defecated on his neck. In the dream, their daughter showed me the video tape of these events. Luckily I woke up next to my beautiful girlfriend so I didn't feel as gay as i could have, not that there's anything wrong with that. - oral_reform

From here.
  • netgod

Quoting steeldreams from a locked post, with permission.

Under normal circumstances, I don't consider the bathroom habits of anyone, person or animal, to be particularly amusing.

steeldreams's new cat, Vanyel, is an exception, however, from the details that she uses to describe his litter box use:

"He made no effort to cover his mess at that point, but instead simply got out of the box. Then, he turned around, climbed completely back inside, turned around three or four times, and began excavating. He didn't just cover or dig... he staged an all-out Egyptian tomb style excavation. I suspect if he had the proper tools, he'd have marked it out in little flagged and catalogued coordinates just to be extra certain of his progress. Front paws, back paws, in the litter, under the litter, along all sides of the box from ceiling to floor. I swear he must have turned every grain of litter over at least twice before he got out again, only to turn around and repeat x3."

On letting go:

dragonfly242 on the small problem I have with telling people to GO AWAY when they're dependant on me. Locked entry.

"Sometimes, after trying everything else, the only way to get people to learn is the hard way: steal their training wheels in the night and let them ride into half a dozen opened car doors."

I love my friends.

--> Later spotted on my Friend's List:

"One thing can be said for my father, he always marries good housekeepers.

Every time a woman leaves him she keeps his house."
  • Current Mood
    crappy crappy