August 31st, 2004

Labour Rose

Puppetphobe!

although, i must say, inobunny is a bit prejudiced against puppets. he's had many harsh things to say about them in the past. i won't even repeat some of his running commentary on labyrinth. phew!

he denied being a puppetphobe when i confronted him.

"i don't hate puppets! i just don't want to have to see them on tv all the time. what people do with puppets in the privacy of their own homes is fine. but i don't want it shoved in my face. and don't look at me like that. i am not prejudiced. i had puppets when i was a kid. some of my best toys were puppets. ... shut up!"


- irfikos here
  • Current Music
    Christophe Beck - Remembering Jenny
pomegranate

(no subject)

From the ever-witty rmoorman, here:

Capitol Complex, the people who maintain all the state office buildings, including the State Capitol, have announced a "water closet retrofit" for our building.

I can hardly wait! Large ceramic bowls painted with swans and flowers! Enormous square cisterns mounted near the ceiling with thick brass pull-chains! And, I hope, sufficient wall-hooks that I might doff my derby and waist-coat before entering the facility.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Cedar
  • marveen

(no subject)

From the customers_suck community, we get this gem:

We know food service is a level of hell all unto itself, but the difference between going there and to the Denny's of the Damned where the servers shuffle around and don't make eye contact and speak some form of Zombie dialect is absolutely remarkable and well worth a tip, to us.

Thanks to borealis_belle for a memorable (and accurate!) description.
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    amused amused
Thorne1966 2 (snoozy)

(no subject)

oktoberain, From a rant, posted after an infuriating discussion with a member of the 'Log Cabin Republicans'

"Being poor and trying to work your way out of poverty is a lot like playing the lottery...but with special rules. In THIS lottery, rich people get to decide which numbers you're allowed to play.

"Oh let's see here...AH! No, you can't play number 8. Or 15. Or 21. Or 27. Uh-oh...34, 35 and 36 are DEFINITELY out. Hmmm. Just to be sure, let's toss out number 1. And 3. And 6. And 11. And 12. And 13. Aw heck, this is getting to be a bit complicated. I'll tell ya what; you're not allowed to play ANY number below 28, or above 34. Okay, all done here!

Next?"


you can read the whole thing here...

Her odd analogies are one of a million things that i love about her...
Top Model - Ms J

New Invention.

From charles120779 in this post.

A common saying here in the South when one is having trouble keeping his food on his plate is, "Do you need sideboards?" Well, here is a conversation I had at lunch today with a friend as I was having trouble keeping my food on the plate:

Her: Do you need sideboards?
Me: I guess so. You know, I should patent that and invent that. Plates with sideboards.
Her: ...
Me: What?
Her: They're called bowls.
Me: Oh. Yeah. Nevermind.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
wicked
  • kigin

On the subject of Bjork

torifetish states:

"Bought Bjork's new album. Medulla. That came out today.

It is an album of 14 songs.

It is as if Bjork recorded her nipples. Rubbing against my ear drums.

Does that make it a good album? Only if you want Bjork rubbing her nipples on my ear drums.

I, as a matter of fact, do."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Elven Vampire: LaughingImp

Yeah, actually I *DO* feel better...

From joeguppy

How to start each day with a positive outlook

1. Open a new file on your PC.

2. Name it "George Bush".

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, "do you really want to get rid of George Bush?"

6. Answer calmly, "yes," and press the mouse button firmly.

7. Feel better..... ?
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper
were sorry idiot prez

(no subject)

"I'd deliver an appropriate response, but to get my point across, I'd need a pound of peanut brittle, a ferret, a sandblaster, and two or three really good rock-solid alibi witnesses." --bktheirregular



ETA: RE: The Icon
Thanks for all the linguistic corrections that make me look less illiterate [I know the Chinese is still hosed, but I don't have a correction and I'm at least told it's bad enough to be funny.] Feel free to grab it and spread it about (credit would be nice). Just let me know if you get better translations and/or check back to see if I've fixed more. (I'll keep fixing as long as kind LJ polyglots continue to clue me in!)


ETA, 2.0: Re: The Icon
Fixed the Russian, Chinese, and Spanish. Added Japanese and Albanian from kind souls below, added Greek and Korean from Babelfish [now that have figured out extended character support tricks in Photoshop--i.e., change font *then* cut-n-paste!]. Sped it up from 2.5 secs per to 2 secs per because we're up to 14 languages at the moment. :)

Moving corrections/discussion/etc off metaquotes and onto my journal! :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
too twisted for color TV, real journalism, political poo, I love my head-bones, Spider Jerusalem

Can we just create a trollprincess QOTD RSS feed and get it over with?

The ever-quotable apocalypsos, on a campaign ad that makes a big deal out of the other candidate's opposition to the Fussbudget Federal Marriage Amendment:

Uh, you know what? In a world with terrorists, Sudanese genocide, starving children, war and unrest in the Middle East, murder, rape, stalled economies, and the like, the Federal Marriage Amendment ranks on the list of vitally important things right after a constitutional amendment to make the Care Bears the official cartoon characters of the United States.


The whole post is here, and can we all wish her a happy birthmonth?
  • Current Music
    Ratt, "Back for More"
Drew happy

(no subject)

joshualore is experiencing some computer problems.

The entire post is funny, but I'm particularly taken by a parenthetical aside about his grandmother:

My grandmother (who everyone around here KNOWS rocks so fucking hard (who also knows this too by stating when told how much my friends think she rocks "well, one must rock at all times you know"))
pandalove

i love school

quoted with permission from a locked post of starredgirl's:

Also, WMU Freshmen, welcome! The majority of you are inconsiderate assholes who can't drive!

To aid those of us who may not fully understand the nature of what we must deal with for the next few days/weeks, I've developed a few mathematic equations to explain certain common behaviors.

1. freshman boy+bad driving+loud music = smallest penis in the world

2. freshman girl+mini skirt+high-heeled flip flops = self-exploitation that will last until she realizes she has to walk to class, whereupon she will come in her pajamas.

3. pedestrian+no crosswalk+my car = smushed pedestrian

4. small penis+self-exploited girl = campus-wide herpes epidemic

I love this time of year.
  • Current Mood
    awake