August 25th, 2004

Spike

yay classical music humor

Today I've spent approximately 1.5 hours on the phone with the IRS trying to get my tax transcript for 2003 so that my student loan money can be given the school. Why 1.5 hours, do you ask?

Call number two (because I choose to start this story in the middle) was approximately 45 minutes, 40 of those were spent on hold listening to poorly played renditions of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, the Nutcracker Suite, and some other piece that I didn't know. Not only were they poorly played, but hearing them through one ear via the quality of a telephone line gave the music a presence that can only be rivaled by Loenard Bernstein conducting the Youngstown Symphony after he smoked some Opium and was shrunken down to a size that fits nicely inside a baby food jar then conducting from inside said baby food jar with the audience listening in the lobby with the doors closed.

- from wil_e
  • Current Mood
    dorky
Drew happy

(no subject)

joshualore relates a conversation that occurred during an evening of Diablo I, here.

joshualore [2:19 AM]: do you know.. the butcher man?
celandra [2:20 AM]: the butcher man?
joshualore [2:21 AM]: the butcher man
celandra [2:21 AM]: who lives on level two?
joshualore [2:21 AM]: you wanna go kill the butcher man?
celandra [2:21 AM]: the butcher man?
joshualore [2:21 AM]: the butcher man
celandra [2:21 AM]: the butcher man!
joshualore [2:21 AM]: the butcher man!
celandra [2:21 AM]: :x
joshualore [2:21 AM]: :x

For anyone who's ever worked in a call centre

You want to speak to the young man... Certainly, what was his name?... You don't remember... What did the name sound like?... J-something? Can you be more specific?... Can you at least hazard a guess?... It could have been John... or Jack... or Peter... or Stan... or mghrbhmrnrrmm... ma'am, I'm sorry, no one here goes by ANY of those names... Yes, I'm sure... Yes, I'm positive... Yes, I'm absolutely positive... Yes, I DO speak English... Yes, I'm positive about that too... Yes, you CAN speak to my supervisor... Please hold...

-anathema666, here.
  • Current Mood
    hee
thewlis-pink-anniesj
  • anniesj

the ketchup has my vote! :)

"I'm not voting for Kerry because he went to Vietnam, and I'm not not voting for Bush because he didn't. I'm not voting for Bush because he's done a reprehensible job as president and I think a ketchup packet could do a better job, and dude, Kerry's got a great big pile of ketchup packets. They can be his advisers.

Note: I am not being literal. Bush could probably do a better job then a ketchup packet in his sleep, but that's mostly because when he's sleeping, he can't bomb anything. Besides, ketchup packets have a hard time giving press conferences. Reporters tend to squish them. That doesn't really bode well for the future of Kerry's cabinet, you know."


--apocalypsos, from this post. :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Whuh Huh?!

Okay, maybe this one's TOO geeky, but...


selene_avis: I don't like Lupin x Sirius. If I see a Lupin x Sirius warning in the summary, I'm going to go read something else. If you want me to read Lupin x Sirius, it have better damn well be awesome.

senor_pinata: I've been watching Lupin III too long, because I read that and was like "now THAT'S a crossover."

beccastareyes: Lupin x Lupin, OMGtheirloveissogoingtomakethesexsceneconfusing.


Dissent - Jefferson

New classes

scribbulus_ink on new freshman this year

Yes, that last bit is true: my 1:00 class has four Ashleys. I also have a student whose first name is "Erode". But really, I don't think anyone will ever top the student I had in summer school 2-3 years ago whose name was "Saddam Hussain". Sort of like no one's excuse will ever top the guy who said he didn't turn in his paper on time because he got called in at the last minute as a back-up dancer for the "Miss Gay [state name]" pageant and then his boyfriend broke up with him right after the pageant. Yes, I gave him an extension.

scribbulus_ink in this post.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
gaudior
  • gaudior

(no subject)

I am sore. My back hurts. I have scraped the skin off two knuckles on my right hand and hurt my left ankle.

God, I love karate.

From homasse's journal here. You rather want to read the whole thing, she's always a good read.
Awesomeface
  • lyme

The amusing stupidity of dogs:

cynderellie has a conversation with her dog:

Sophie just startled the bejesus out of me by barking like it was the armageddon. I rushed outside expecting to see meteors falling from the sky... this is a rough transcript of what happened

Me: What is it??? What's the matter?

Sophie: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGGGGGGGGGGGG
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Its HORRIBLE!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOF WOOOOOOF WOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF


Me: WHAT!?!? I don't see anything...

Sophie: RIIIIIIIGHT THEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: The well is capped with cement and there are no kids named timmy in the neighborhood.....

The rest is here.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
fritters

(no subject)

from this post by lijororli  regarding a campus involvement fair and politics.

"Lots of conservatives in this entering class. Bill was scaring people away from our table at the Student Involvement Fair with his Kerry sticker. A couple of them actually refused to sign up for Film Club until he stopped sitting next to me, because they didn't want "what he has to spread." Jeez, they act like being a democrat is a sexually transmitted disease. If you ask me, one's as bad as the next. Democrats are syphllis, republicans are gonorrhea. Feel free to pick one, but it'll ultimately leave you with an excruciating tormenting and all-around gross death."

like to kill (menacing)

from cerebrate in a comment

from Here as a comment to a post about Hallmark's new "Patriot Day" Sept 11th cards.

I actually do find it rather reassuring that, even if a dinosaur-killer asteroid smacked straight into the planet, say, within six months people in the shelters would be selling "I Survived A Species-Killing Impact And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" merchandise.