August 24th, 2004

mac

Adventures in Babysitting

tracy_rowan's Sim-wrangling experience takes a sinister turn:

I'm not kidding you when I tell you these Sims were dumber than usual. I actually put a fridge in the room with them so they could eat while waiting for something to catch fire, but they ignored it completely, spent all their time screaming at me to feed them, and couldn't manage to set a dangerous fire until at least three of them were already dead! Next time I drown them, I swear.
brides of dracula

Divine Mockery

From a comment to a post about magic and prayer:

I think everybody should have at least one god talking to them in their head. Really. 'Cause you wouldn't *believe* the number of stupid requests it cuts down on when you can HEAR them LAUGHING at you.
---iroshi
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
K: Beaded, K: Eeep, K: *huff*, Red Panda, K: Desperada

(no subject)

[A]pparently the Athens Games got better ratings than the one from Sydney. Which came as a shock to me because as far as I can tell, excluding my friendslist, the world kind of rolled their eyes at the waterpolo being an Olympic sport and turned the channel to Ren and Stimpy.

I mean, dude - even the terrorists went 'eh.'

This is how we know that things are cool in the 21st century, it occurs to me now.

If terrorists show up - it's all that.

Olympics - so last millennia.

-- doqz here (the whole post is fun!)

(no subject)

MAYA: And in the next chapter he hitch-hikes with a religious fanatic albino child molester!’
HINKY: Is Poppy Z. Brite a comic author?
PENELOPE: That’s nothing, you amateurs. I have read a fantasy book in which superbeings’ unfurling genitalia crush cities!
WAITRESS BEARING FUDGEALICIOUS CAKE: Omgpleaseleavenowkthanx.

--sarahtales
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
  • sunfell

Sing it, sister...

Quoth a friend of mine about her horror of baby showers:

"And since "girl culture" makes me ooky to begin with, the combination of girl culture and baby culture is enough to make me want to wear a garlic necklace and carry holy water. It makes my *skin crawl*..."

And I replied:

Hands you a garlic and iron nail necklace and a Super Soaker of Super High-Test Ultra Good God Almighty Holy Water...just in case...oh, and some hearing protection.

It's that damn female cooing! It makes folks like us want to imitate that Munch painting...
dancing indigo

Time Travel

"The following section has been added to the Info Page. I haven't
put it there yet, but just as soon as I post this I will hop into my Tardis
and travel back in time to 5 minutes before I posted this.

And don't tell me that would create a paradox, because I've got all the
equations worked out on an Excel spreadsheet.
"
--slyfoot posting in ubergeeks about updating the
community info. Hee.

I like this community.
  • Current Mood
    amused
Marcia // Chaotic Redhead
  • kajivar

(no subject)

From a locked post, somehedgehog rants about a former job at a local paper:

Did I mention this job involved sending advertising invoices to phone sex operators and "escorts"? Which meant that I had to spend one day a week cutting out pictures of nekkid ladies and stuffing them into envelopes? I'm sure this is against some kind of law but I did it anyway because it builds CHARACTER. And by CHARACTER, we mean PORN.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

Why doesn't porn fall from the skies like rain? I'd be outside with buckets waiting to catch it, my head tilted back and my mouth open because porn on the tongue would be sweeter than...I want to say two birds in the bush but that would be nice, too.

--thamiris
  • Current Mood
    awake
I am unreasonable

Oops

From my good friend peachekeen:

I just called a candidate to recruit him for a job. His wife answers and tells me that he is dead. Ooooops. I feel like such a schmuck. I apologized profusely.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
dancing indigo

Goddamn portents!

PS: Really tempted to take a trip to DC right now. Where did I put that lighter? What? It'll just be a little Bushfire.

dexfarkin, on the historical significance of August 26, and the fact that it is also the day he entered the world.
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy
Beast facepalm

(no subject)

Maya realised that packing at 6:00 a.m. had not actually been the brilliant plan it seemed at the time when she forgot her migraine pills. Superbly ignoring this small hiccup, she went to go and meet Penelope and Hinky on Tottenham Court Road.

She blames her father for letting her go off alone on the assumption she could find her way down a street by herself, when he knew perfectly well that she once got lost in a wardrobe and was discovered hours later curled in a fetal position and moaning ‘Edmund?’ to the fur coats.

-sarahtales
gaudior
  • gaudior

(no subject)

foleyartist1 took her cel-phone in to the helpful folks at Sprint...

(The following is taken from a friends-only entry, with FoleyArtist's permission granted on the condition that I use a clever pseudonym in place of her real name.)


XerxesTireIronDada: My on button doesn't work. I need a new phone.
Sprint guy: Let me see what model phone you have.
XerxesTireIronDada: (passes phone, which is old and clunky in style)
Sprint guy: (look of recognition) Oh, one of these.
XerxesTireIronDada: Yeah, the on button doesn't work. I think maybe I should suck it up and get a higher-end model.
Sprint guy: Let me try something first.
XerxesTireIronDada: (blink) Okay. . .
Sprint guy: (looks around furtively to make sure no one is paying attention)
XerxesTireIronDada: (suddenly apprehensive)
Sprint guy: (carefully balances phone in what is obviously a specific and practiced manner on edge of counter, pulls back, and then WHACKS back of cell phone against edge of counter in precise motion)
Cell phone: (flies apart and battery comes loose, clattering to the floor)
XerxesTireIronDada: Um. . . .
Sprint guy: (replaces battery and hands back cell phone) This usually works.
XerxesTireIronDada: (presses "on" button)
Cell phone: (comes cheerfully on as if nothing was ever wrong)

I don't know whether to be more happy that I don't need to buy a new phone, or more disturbed that I own a type of cell phone where violence "usually works." O_o;

(no subject)

I wrote "I don't know how to do fancy flashing things" with regards to LJ HTML code and randomblade wrote:

fancy flashing things... You wear frilly suspenders and make sure that your full length overcoat is gold lame and very well cut. Rather than waiting in the park, you only ever go into high class establishments, and charge a small cover fee.

Not so much indecent exposure as genteel revelation.
Trick by eaglefeather169

Theories on drool

Just like the Fibonacci numbers often mysteriously pop up in nature, I find that the number 69 often pops up in my multitude of pervalicious fandoms. Coincidence? I think not. I am inclined to believe that the explaination for this naturally-ocurring phenomonen is that the 69 is MAGICKAL and should be honored and cherished by all.

-sunnydeeelight owner of phelps_jammers  here after the Phelps oggoling community's membership hit the magickal 69.
Yuuko - Evil Laugh

(no subject)

fallenangelfish rants about cliched song lyrics

Some highlights of her banned list:

  • making grown men cry. You know, like hot girls and cherry pies. Ugh. There are plenty of grown men who cry. It's not a good standard to use. For instance, most men will cry at having their balls kicked, or when passing a kidney stone. Which feels remarkably like having to listen to this trite.

  • anything "passing you by" Life, time, days, whatever. Get up and do something. Like say, finding a new phrase to express how you feel. Or in the case where it's not really an issue, you're just using the line as filler, I recommend attending "songwriting 101: please try to not to suck"



She would like to encourage people to comment on her post and add other critical offenders.
  • Current Music
    Daily Show