August 18th, 2004

new meez, default

High-level cabinet meetings

"Alright, so that's Saddam Hussein, 95% chance found in lair, and treasure types A, B. C, and five of D. Looks like you found ... underwear, and a gun."

"Good job on that natural 20, Rummy. Your dice luck is crazy."

"I wanna shoot him!"

"Shut up, Dick. We're taking him back to town."

"But ... Condi ..."

"Jesus, you guys. Laura'll kill me if you get pizza on the carpet this week. Keep the Mountain Dew over the table."

arpad, here. Some very good Photoshop work goes with it.
  • Current Mood
    amused giggling madly

(no subject)

The latest thing of fandom_wank is the thread aimed at a literature-taste ranking community.

F-W are mocking an lj community for appointing themselves an arbitrary authority on other people's behaviour and moral conduct.


And they said irony was dead.

  • erlking

(no subject)

The fabulous bites_the_sun, from a locked post (w/ permission) containing a beautiful rant slamming literary snobbism.

"Because when it comes to writing, being enjoyable, entertaining and god fucking forbid, funny, at the same time as being intellectually stimulating and culturally significant is well nigh impossible. No, really. It's been proven by a first year philosophy students with bad haircuts and self-important twats with badly-written livejournals that one quality automatically cancels out the other (those illiterate, 16th century proles who rated Shakespeare because of the plots and the dick jokes don't count - they hadn't been to university after all). As is the indisputable fact that it is impossible to read critically and be entertained yet and at the same time."

(no subject)

This is from my own journal But it was highly amusing and I felt it should be shared. I'm referencing a little article I found from a christian site about how to tell if your kid is gothic and they say that "if the express an intrest in gothic foods (Count Dracula creal or the like):

COUNT DRACULA CEREAL? oh the chocolatey goodness eats my soul.
Ed's too cool for you

(no subject)

This is actually posted in my LJ, but I thought it was the funniest thing to come out of a friend's mouth in quite a while:

Sehmket: I wasn't just, like, going at it to pic of him.
Sehmket: Or porn vids. Damn. That would be cool if he'd done porn.
Sehmket: Like Brad Swaille. He needs to do porn.
Sehmket: With David Boreanaz!
Singe by angstslashhope

Out of the mouths of babes

kookaburra1701 has many adventures in babysitting! Here she's trying to teach the youngest how to act like a human being (with varying degrees of success.)A little edited for content, sorry, Kookaburra!

There were only a few people at the church by then, so I thought that this would be a great time to reinforce what a good girl she had been by clearing the table. I walked her over to the pastor, greeted him, and told M. (the little girl) to tell him what she did that morning that was so grown-up.

She looked up at him for a few moments, and then with the kind of solemnity only a 4-year-old can muster, said: "I farted and I didn't tell nobody."

When the pastor had stopped laughing, I was able to get M. to tell him what I had originally wanted her to say.

(no subject)

It kinda reminds me of when I first moved to St. Nowhere and all my stuff was going to arrive three days after I did. And I mean all my stuff -- I was without linens, plates, pans, furniture, most of my clothing and all of my books. Anyway, the tenant in my flat before me left a single metal chopstick in the dishwasher. For three days I lived on pizza, water, and ice-cream (delivered with the pizza) eaten with a chopstick.

Rocky road is easiest, btw. Cos you can spear the marshmallows on the tip.

  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
ahhh! the pressure!
  • namey

(no subject)

apocalypsos. Duh.

In fact, according to this guy, he and/or his wife also spoke with John Lennon, JFK, FDR, Elvis, and Abbott & Costello, and they all want us to vote for Bush, too, because if we don't and John Kerry becomes the president, everything will die. No, seriously, everything will die, even cockroaches and Dick Clark. And in one hundred years, all that will be left of the planet will be a big ball of mud. The upside, though, is that we'll make a nice profit from the stuff and when Jayne Cobb shows up, we can sing him folk songs and worship his hat collection.
joan holloway roses

(no subject)

"Because I would totally give my kid something narrated by Top Dollar...'Hey, kids. Burn things and snort lots and lots of cocaine, and you'll have a nice life.'"

--aegyptus , commenting here on Michael Wincott narrating soppy children's books for Disney.