Metaquotes

powerof3, from a locked post about celebrity impersonators.

"If you were a Rich Little impersonator, what would you do?"

From an entry entitled:

"I saw my baby move for the first time!"

... Does it make me a bad parent that after the excited screaming and freaking out, I found myself overcome with a huge desire to see Alien?

From kisunebeast

Posted in watuhmelonz's journal:


In my search for knowledge, my computer recently let the magic smoke out. I am not a paramedic, so i did not attempt CPR. I am, however, a fairly inquisitive philosophical hack, so I proceeded with what I do best:

"Why!? Why now!?!? Oh God, please why, as i re-read Plato's Apology for the umpteenth time!???"

Silence.

I have read silence is golden, but this doesn't appear to be relevant to my problem. But then again, what problem have I? Oh yes, my computer has died. What then, is death?

Silence.

An hour and a half and one long philosophical debate with dead computer later, i replace the power supply and it fires up.

from here:

(perhaps a bit o'language)

His dark, platelike head raised, he hurled forth a verbal assault that could have itself been my doom, save for the content of the last insult. With incendiary rage, he howled "Bastard!! Scum!! Vermin!! PRESIDENT OF THE SEAN HANNITY FANCLUB!!" and poised himself for that suicidal plunge.



Yeah we got some crazy, flying, sarcastic little things around here. Come on down, I'll introduce you!!

I just found a random stash of chocolate coins. Mmmmmm, edible currency. - ladybella

From elliotsavesday:

you know they say, if you dont have anything (nice) to say, make a livejournal post.

this is so true... i can't even count how many countless times i have made a post full of nothing haha

For non-Brits, our Home Secretary David Blunkett is blind and so has a guide dog...

From nostalgia_lj:

"Also, with all this stuff about terrorism, you have to wonder if the dog gets searched. And if it has clearance. It knows everything! You can just see it sitting there in Cabinet meetings thinking "Tony, what crack are you on?"

However, guide dogs are way clever. You could totally train it to piss on people you didn't like."


The whole post is damned funny...

Who wants my girly-inside-parts?

Because I certainly don't!

:D

Current Mood: ARGH DIE
Current Music: OH THE PAIN MAKE IT STOP

-- fiere

From the ever-quotable vyviane:

"Someone was stupid enough today to suggest I should move out of Atlanta and to a new state entirely. They thought it would build character. This person does not know me well hence why they thought I lacked in character. I think I have more character then I know what to do with. Though it's hard to separate character from mental disorders."

tviokh takes her dogs, Tilly and Woofles, for a walk.

Me: *turns around* *sees Woofles rolling on ground* *drags Tilly back to shore* *sees that Woofles is rolling in dead fish mixed with smelly mud* "NOOOO!! STOP IT!"
Woofles: "Huh?" *rollrollroll*
Me: *leash pop* "I said stop it!"
Woofles: "Buh?" *rollrollroll*
Tilly: "W00T! SMELLY THINGS!" *rollrollrollroll*
Woofles: "Bitch! I'm still here!" *growlbark*
Tilly: "Assclown, I'm bigger than you!" *growlbark*
Woofles: "My bad..." *hides behind my legs*
Me: "AUGH! Tilly! NO!"
Tilly: "Yeah, eff you naked ape!" *rollrollroll*
Me: "I. SAID. NO!" *leash yank*
Tilly: *sigh* "Fine."

Mark Frauenfelder of boingboing_net expresses his ire with the Time Warner Cable DVR:

If TiVo were a beverage, it'd be a tall glass of Jamaican ginger beer with chipped ice and a lime wedge, while the Explorer 800 would be a paper cup of warm fake lemonade stirred with the finger of a nose-picking six-year-old.

In the evening there's a party at my place, starting at party o-clock and continuing until someone has thrown up, two people have shagged in the back room, someone has broken some delicate and precious piece of glassware that wasn't supposed to be used, a couple of people have firetwirled and at least one person has run around with their pants off. You know, the usual stuff.

From sly_girl, here.

ok, now that i have come very close to restating eric s. raymond's plan for world peace, and fulfilled my cultural responsibility as a german to mock the swedes, i shall return to my lab report.

- drakonous in this comment

I'm stuck on Level 7 in the room with the porcupine dildo. I can't find a walkthrough anywhere.

from enamon here

But today she has fully recovered and hit the little boy down the street with a rock in his head.

~whiskis_mom on my niece recovering from a spill she'd taken the day before.

norah's take on the famous "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" quote from this post.

"You can have love and smut without the rhetoric, or smut and rhetoric without the love, but you can't have love and rhetoric without the smut. Smut is compulsory. They're all smut, y'see?"

The inimitable thessalian on idiots at work:

If a letter is wanted in the office, and it's not on DMS, is there a letter?

We could be all Zen about this. We could say that the desire for the letter and the inherent belief in the letter will somehow have the letter existing in potentia, somewhere outside our Document Management System.

However, we would then be full of shit....

Now, be Zen, remind yourself that the journey is sometimes more important than the destination, stop looking at me like a stoned cow and deal with it.

witchytara in a friends-locked post, posted with permission.

Grandmother Willow (methinks that's her name): Listen with your heart, you will understand..
Pocahontas: *speaks English!*
Tara: I like how she randomly speaks English.
Laura: I'm gonna move to Germany and 'listen with my heart.' I'm sure I'll be fine.

From a customers_suck post by akomachi here

"Want fresh fries that you deem your most royal and important self requires? How about you go bob for em?"

_rachel_summers, in pottersues:

Also, it is my feeling that natural selection would have gotten rid of the really big-breasted mermaids over the year (slowed their swimming down so that they were more likely to get eaten by various things), thereby making brassieres as forms of tata-support unnecessary for today's smaller-breasted merchick.

maniacsc's imitation of angsty teens:

"like, I'm so sad, everything is bad, I hate my life...black and death is all I care about...boo-frickety-hoo...let me turn on my Manson and drown myself in pain and angst...cause I'm SOOOO sad"


[edit] I'm adding a new one in here so I don't rape the main page/everyone's friends pages:

said by sewbadazz (in referance to someone saying nirvana fans all think kurt cobain is god):

Oh dear apple giving Lord! Kurt isn't a god!! Are you kidding me?! Because my world is now crashing down before my eyes! Quick! TO THE KURTMOBILE!!

*giggles*

I'm a cashier, ya friggin' old bitch. Don't tell me how to bag food and I won't tell you how to wear polyester and smell funny.
-crimsonclover14, here

In reply to a comment discussing fundamental Muslim terrorists in theferrett's journal.

"Really, has the Catholic leadership endorsed the subjugation of women, the enslavement of non Christians or asked it's followers to go on a Crusade?

No?" unwilly

The thing is I think this guy was serious. He didn't seem like a troll.

schiarire recovers from broken Internet:
IGOR, IT'S KINDA SORTA MORE OR LESS ALIVE!

Unclench, angry person. Unclench. Feel your head as it leaves your ass.

~pokecheck in response to this comment on Fandom_Wank.

(Not technically overheard on lj, but too good to be left unquoted...)