August 11th, 2004

PR || Cosmos

Deep thoughts.

Written on the restroom door of my favorite bar:

Handwritten scribble #1:
"Is Post modernism the new opiate?"

Handwritten scribble #2:
"It certainly isn't a stimulant"

Handwritten scribble #3:
"What is wrong with you people? Drink your beer!"


--celes6
  • Current Music
    Jerry Springer the Opera - It Ain't Easy Bein' Me
  • sunfell

Spam again...

vulturechick wrote:

Every once in a while, I buzz the bulk mail folder just to make sure something doesn't get misplaced (has happened before), and today there was a gem: from Christian Way "Eliminate Your Bills the Christian Way".

In my house, we were always taught you were supposed to give everything to Jesus, who, as the songs tell us, has already paid our debts.

Hmmm....does "Dear Creditor, This outstanding balance has been turned over to Jesus for payment. Please contact him if you have further questions" sound ok? I could throw in some bible verses and a "god bless you"....

(I know, I know...the belief in self-responsibility is such a bitch sometimes...)
New
  • netgod

(no subject)

Quoted from steeldreams, with permission from a locked post.

"People who insist on transcribing EVERYTHING into l33t need to be herded into one of those electrified enclosures from Jurassic Park so I can arrange for a neat and swift tactical strike on behalf of those people who do not have all the time in the world to waste on purposefully and needlessly making things difficult to read. Thus, all the excess time those people had can be harvested and donated to the time-destitute resulting in societal gains such as the creation of a cure for cancer, or the simple alleviation of road rage."
gay fountain, naya, santana

First quote

happy_buddha commenting in thebitingfaery's journal, in response to a quote she posted from wtf_inc


"Some people need to be punched in the face until I feel better about them existing..."


Meh, stupid lj tags won't work for me today. screw it
hero sandwich
  • kimera

some people need lessons in geography

FYI: My friend auditioning is American, but is going to University here in Canada. She posted the following conversation that she had with a grown man about where she goes to school:

"Really, Canada? Where do you go to school?" "University of Victoria." "Oh--where is that? Montreal?" "It's in Victoria." Is Montreal the only city in Canada that people know??
It's All Me
  • rollick

Linguistic difficulties

scarletdemon and her family were recently in a fairly severe car crash. From a post about the aftermath:
Most people reacted by saying one of a few things… None of which make much sense to me, now that I really think about them…

"It was a message from God that you should go to Church." This is a personal favourite. I don't know much about God but I know that He is supposed to be "perfect." Any "perfect" God would know that my first language is English and that I hardly speak any "Car Crash" at all.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
L33t

Bubble Wrap

"Such blatant disregard to an obvious request that the subjects not pop the bubble wrap leads me to conclude that attraction of humans to bubble wrap is a force that easily surpasses the strength of human willpower."

-bacaninho in this post regarding the properties of bubble wrap. (The whole post is funny, and some of the comments are also great.)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Whuh Huh?!

notapipe discusses ways the Harry Potter books could end

The post is goes from clever to downright silly:

C) Harry fires a chi blast of love at Voldemort and Voldemort melts into a puddle of goo. Which, being goo, is worse than having a corpse. Or, you know, destroys Voldemort's soul. This is lame.

D) Sort of like C, except Harry just hugs Voldemort. Lamer.

E) Harry, possibly along with all of his friends, performs the Care Bear Stare on Voldemort. Even more lame, but very Saturday Morning Cartoon retro, so 20-somethings may think it is the best thing ever.

F) Some variant of C-E, except instead of killing Voldemort, it transforms him from the Dark Lord into affable ol' Tom. They live happily ever after, because "the Dark Lord" has been killed by his transformation in to Tom.

G) Perhaps the room has a MACHINE THAT TURNS LOVE INTO LASERS!

H) Love Bomb?

I) Some more serious variant of G & H.

But what if it isn't love? Well, it could always be "dumbfuckness," which Harry has a lot of. The room could be full of stupid people and Voldemort could just really not like stupid people. It could also be chicken pox. That killed the martians...

-- the rest :)
happy/b&w/smiles

my first time posting here

lea724 posts about being omniscient for a moment and (jokingly) being able to precit the futures of others. so i ask her to predict mine. her response:

I knew somebody would ask me that...

**closes eyes and puts hand on forehead, trying vainly to imitate a seer**

Ah. The Great Amanda sees all. Knows all.

**lowers hand, opens eyes, and perfects a direct stare at you**

First, however, you must pay me. The Great Amanda must pay rent, too, you know.

;)
polycorns

(no subject)

FINE. Since EVERYONE has suddenly started naming their lovely laptops I feel that my unhip desktop deserves a name as well. I christen him Hubert. That's right. Hubert isn't a hipster, he's a little chubby, he keeps up with current events, loves his little dog, and he's hilarious. None of your computers can make you laugh like mine.

terlogo, complaining that all her friends have snazzy new laptops (mine's called Raoul)
humor

(no subject)

apocalypsos ruminates about insufficient defenses:

Spyware removed Lieutenant Asshat's normal DHL homepage from his computer and replaced it with a hardcore hentai animation website. And who does everybody think did it? Yeah, that's right ... me.

I suppose it's not a good thing that my only defense has been, "I have better taste in porn than that."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
SPLG

Now *that's* anti-terrorism...

In response to a stunning and disturbing story from in which a self-important ferry security guard attempts to confiscate a harmless gaming book, calling it a "danger to others"...

archangelbeth sagely observes:

Geeze, it's a BOOK. It's a BOOK in a BOOKBAG. Unless it's a hardcover, it's not even going to hurt very much if you bop someone with it. I mean, "Plow this ferry into the dock or I give you SUCH a papercut"? "If you don't let me steer, I'll show you -- BIG BOSOMED BIMBOS"?




Quoted with permission.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

In other news, I apparently wrote a post to twits declaring my love for famous_amos and completely forgot about it. Because I just read it now on my flist and was like, "OMG, this person love Amos just like I do! I should comment on their post and squee with them!"

But it was me.

So. Yes.


- pocky_slash
  • Current Music
    don't ask don't tell - zanna, don't!
agent may is unimpressed

On getting things done

I was trying to catch up just a LITTLE with email last night, after the power came back on and all. Someone on my Democracy for Colorado group sent this to me about 1 am:

"Damn [NeonNurse] -- it's late -- go to bed. America will still be there tomorrow and we can take it back then."


--neonnurse
agent may is unimpressed

On instant literary classics

[Having] completed ANGELS & DEMONS, I leap headlong into the DA VINCI CODE. Damn. That Dan Brown guy can right (i'll forgive him DECEPTION POINT, because the improvement over the three books is clear). Great books. Fast reads. Amazing background. On the flip side, i can already see the spoof...

THE DA VINCI COD... Fisherman and self-taught Scrabble champion Rob Lungfoam must race through downtown St-Johns Newfoundland to desif... decifi... to figure out a puzzle that traces back to Renaissance artist Leonardo "Cod-shagger" Da Vinci's little known mis-spent youth in the Canadian maritime east. Following a series of clues conveniently hidden in a series of pubs, Lungfoam can only hope to solve the mystery before he has to 'break the seal'.


--abysstopheles talks about what he saw and read recently
i think we're alone now

Hee!

matildarose says:

Jack Chick is not horror. It's a bad car wreck between a truck that's transporting chickens, a truck that's carting tar, and a clown car that is stuck inbetween.

You know you shouldn't, but you look anyway.


It's from a locked post in my lj, but I had to share it.
virgin sacrifice

(no subject)

Lovely little poem I found on a picnic table in a park in Fairmount, Indiana.

"ABC, LSD, PCP
Gummi bears are after me
Some r red, some r blue
The one behind me has my shoe
Next time that I feel the need
I'll make sure I stick to weed."


- icedark_elf
britta guns - shelightsupwell

(no subject)

Why, oh why am I being harassed by the utterly irrelevant mental image of Mandy Patinkin dancing around with a sparkly top hat singing the "I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today" song? What have I done to deserve this?

It's punishment for the Jeff/Michael RPS, isn't it? Instead of hot Canadian incest, I'm getting a tap-dancing Inigo Montoyo informing the world that hello, he's going commando, prepare to die.

I should think that would probably make better fic, at any rate.

jean_prouvaire
  • Current Mood
    amused amused