August 9th, 2004

Vesica Woman

Fat in the can

From the ever-insightful roseseule in this post:

Pringles now have information on them, like animal facts and trivia questions and the like. Dear Crap Food industry: I do not eat Pringles to learn things. I eat them to quell my massive lonliness and increase the size of my ass

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Owie Owie Owie

(no subject)

Long story short: I have tendonitis. I am not taking enough ibuprofin and don't know how to wrap a leg properly. Taught about the miracle of the ice bag. Ice bag taken away because I liked it too much and they feared frostbite. No, they will not give me heroin even though I have Blue Cross. Referred to Dr Larry "The Unholy Incompetent Butcher Who Likes Saws" Miller for follow-up. Or Milton. Possibly Milhouse.

Emergency rooms are (a) very cold and (b) like one of the really crappy boring educational rides at Epcot. You know - the ones where they don't try too hard with the gift shop at the end, because, what's the point?

Got a plastic wristband out of the whole thing, though, so it was a bit like Pleasure Island. A bit.

-- annlarimer
Wow Neat

And just one more...brain...explody...

2 b 0r n07 2 b 7h47 15 7h3 qu35710n
\/\/h37h3r 715 n0bl3r 1n 7h3 m1nd 70 5uff3r
7h3 5l1ng5 4nd 4rr0w5 0f 0u7r4g30u5 f0r7un3...

-- The whole thing, here. Technically it's a search-and-replace Shakespeare quote, yes. But it's worth staring at. And it's got Hamlet&Horatio chatroom-sp34k in the comments, too!
all fucked up on hockey

(no subject)

packyrsuitcases is brilliant:

I swear, one day livejournal's going to take over the world like in Communist Russia, and everyone's going to be referring to each other as 'User ---'

"Good day to you, User callmecayce."

"Lovely weather we're having, User greentartanslut."

And the word 'User' will have a capital, but the username's won't, and it'll be because all the Users will feel that the most important part is being a part of the collective and that the self is relatively unimportant (unless they're talking about what they did that day, in which case, OMGEXSITERMENT!!)

The rest is brilliant too, I promise.
  • Current Music
    Plea From a Cat Named Virtue(live) -The Weakerthans
springtime the pony

(no subject)

tviokh discusses the upcoming election here. She didn't mean it to be funny, but it is... perhaps it's just that it's commentary on an admittedly funny situation:

Somehow it makes it worse that they're from Europe. It's kind of like having your mom looking over your shoulder on something that shouldn't be any of her goddamned business anyway. We're supposed to be the Democracy Clearinghouse of the world. Nobody's supposed to do it better, we wrote the proverbial book on modern democracy. Yes, I know it's mostly a fallacy; we're an oligarchy if we're anything but...still...embarrassing to have to have the rest of the world stand about like a fat, sadistic nun with a ruler, just itching to slap our wrists at the first hint of disobedience. Great, my Ego's fighting with my Logic before 8:30am.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
urban legend

Atkins: Because people love choloesterol!

the above PA strip spawned a "discussion" about the Atkins diet. catsluvdmb said, "Sure, it makes you thinner, and clogs your arteries, and puts your body in starvation mode. Really it's just anorexia for people who like to eat. I like how Atkins' family vehemently refused to allow an autopsy after he had a heart attack. Gee, I wonder why!"
Film - The Shining

(no subject)

From voicesinmyheadx, on her displeasure at the apparent selling-out of a favorite band:

i just saw the postal services music video for 'such great hieghts' THEY HAVE A MUSIC VIDEO!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! and the worst part. it was on MTV. POSTAL SERVICE!! NO!!! WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS MISTAKE OF BEING ON MTV NO!!! now every girl i know is gonna be like OMFGAWD dId u See TeH PosAtAl SeRVie Vid?! OmGAW I Am Deh NumBa One FaN lIeK WhoAH!

...because fangirl-mockage is always, always, always funny.
  • Current Music
    "God Put a Smile Upon My Face" - Coldplay
  • ashfae

(no subject)

From muffytaj:

This guy from America rang our house by mistake, and spent half an hour talking to my mum, and then another half an hour talking to me. For no apparent reason. And apparently he's going to call again. The Hell? So much for studying.

And he didn't understand words like 'bloody' or our accents. So we educated him on Australia.

And I think he was trying to flirt with me. *weirded out* And he said things like 'you sound hot' and said: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No," I replied, "do you?"
  • Current Mood
    amused amused