Metaquotes

Mom and I just watched Hidalgo. A summary:

Viggo: I am teh sex.
Hidalgo: I am also teh sex. Of horses.

-- rpp

dol_anda in a conversation

"so I says to the guy, you want your money? You come and get your money. You make me sick....Then I threw up in his pocket."

spongebobrocks wrote in statements

Subject: Most people have gotten comments from July.

Message: You are no different.

from a_good_storm without permission because I randomly came across the post and.. well.. tough shit.. anyway.. the quote..


I went to the doctor's office today. After my appointment, the receptionist said "You had an allergy shot today?" and I said
"No, I had a Depo shot."
*pause*
"I'm allergic to babies."
She didn't laugh, which made me mad because I think it's one of the funniest things I've ever said. Stupid receptionist.

hiroe comments on how Alabama bans the sale of all sex toys. I'm quoting it for the visual.

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disc_sophist gives

A multi-purpose reply to all the old comments that are finally being delivered:
Ha! Yes. I agree, but what about the time when it wasn't? That was really something, eh? We've all got to start somewhere. *hugs*

spectacular is being funny again:

Consider this a public service announcement.

If I see one more icon, or journal handle, or layout, or anything for that matter featuring such phrases as "demonic angel," "tainted perfection," or "stained innocence," I think I may scream. Call me crazy, but cliché, and completely irrational contradictions like that annoy me. Either they totally negate themselves (i.e. "demonic angel") or the words have no bearings on each other and make no fucking sense (i.e. "emerald sorrow").

LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR. Throwing out mini-phrases like this does not make you sound cool. It makes you sound like you haven't the faintest fucking idea what you're talking about. If something is tainted, IT ISN'T PERFECT. Remorse HAS NO COLOUR. Nonsensical contradictions are not the new fucking pink. Shoving a pretty-sounding noun and adjective together is not unique. Nor is it profound. If I see this one more time, I may just go apeshit.

Thank you. That is all.

kaighn in the laruku_pics community on this rather screencap-heavy post:

"He's the tough one in their gang of genki bank robbers."

anothersaturday wrote an epic poem about my search for Chapstick, which contains heroic stanzas like this:
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Oops, it's friends only. But I think I should persuade her to make it available to the general public because it's just that good.

I hit LJ"s "Random Search" button and i_am_confused says:

Marc just called. We had plans to hang out today. His uncle had a heart attack, so he had to cancel the plans. I'm not exactly sure how much truth there is in that but.

THIS FUCKING SUCKS! I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF GUYS AND THEIR "LET'S CANCEL ON HANNAH" ATTITUDE!

From snw414. Locked entry, used with permission.

Sunday night, I met Emily from my Microbiology class so we could study for our test on Monday. She and I had a great time studying outside Courtyard Cafe and even almost got to witness an ass beating. It was entertaining, although we could have done without the punk/emo/poser kids yelling out "smegma! smegma! smegma!" to us when they overheard the gross diseases we were studying.

Written by the clever careena, who actually unlocked the post when I asked permission to use it.

Reverent Rite of Honey by Careena

Something so lovely,
every few weeks,
about the ritual of pouring honey
from the giant jar from the cupboard
into its everyday container.
Something eternal and pagan.
Makes one feel so comforted, as if
there are adequate stores for the winter.
And then the little squeezy-bottle
makes a rude air-expelling noise
and ruins the whole thing.

Regardless of how we each feel about the death penalty, I think there's more than a grain of wisdom in this.

From the lovely and talented sirriamnis:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/apus_story.asp?category=1110&slug=Elderly%20Execution

A 74 man trying to avoid execution in Alabama, because to kill someone who has since his trial been diagnosed with dementia, hepatitis, diverticulitis, hypertension and acute back pain would be cruel and unusual.

Hell, with all that wrong with you I'd think it would be a relief. Fuck.

He was sentenced to death for killing a 62 year old woman who had befriended him after he was released from serving a prison term for a previous killing.

Mad dogs get put down, don't they?

From this post.

justbluemyself writes an open letter to all men regarding scented deodorant.

My favorite passage?

Use of these "manly" scented deodorants is hazardous to your social life. They don't make you smell like you're wearing cologne. They only make you smell like you are wearing scented deodorant. They can also be hazardous to the health of people around you. They leave vapor trails that can kill off brain cells. I know this is true. I've been getting high off a co-worker's armpits all week.

From journalfen, but funny as hell. In a thread in i_wank:

darkrose: Everyone knows that a Cubs/Red Sox World Series is a sign of the Apocalypse. The Horsemen will be riding down your street five minutes after the first pitch is thrown out.

dizmo: See, I always figured it'd get to game 7, bottom of the 9th, full count, bases loaded, there's the pitch, and the world just explodes.

In reponse to hearing Mads Mikkelsen (Tristan in King Arthur) was an ex-ballet dancer, mcee says here:
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Comment on a post about the Alabama ban on sex toys...

It's probably for the best. Maybe people in Alabama shouldn't be having sex anyway. And if they masturbate, they'll have so much fun that they might get all crazy and buy sex toys, legalize gay marriage, have screaming orgasms, buy foods with carbs, vote for Kerry or Nader, -- Well, sex toys are probably like a gateway drug.

---

jenocclumency

gulgothica on computer viruses...

Have you ever thought about the fact that computer viruses are like porn stars?

They always love backdoor action, they get around a lot, and they use fake names...

A lot of times though, people choose thier misery. They pick at things that make them happy until they are back at default angst. They stay in situations that are known rather then doing things that scare them. They say "I had no choice" but their is, if you are a reasonably healthy adult, not chained down and drugged, always a choice. The choices may suck, but they are there. People don't get chances, they take them. Chances are a part of choice and consequence, the hard part is recognising the choices and the chances they provide.
---delicarose

sinister_beauty: I just learned that apparantly Hugh Dancy can belly dance. -is a little frightened and a little turned on-
antiquitea: .................... *twitch*
sinister_beauty: I dun wanna say it but...I'm fearing for Hugh's sexuallity day after day.
antiquitea: His last bit of manliness is clinging to a thread ...
sinister_beauty: I know. But I mean, I know Hugh is straight because he either has or had and broke it off with a girlfriend. I remember reading recently something about it on his official webbie.
antiquitea: Probably because he was prettier than her.
sinister_beauty: Yeah, probably.

The always-amusing croaky discusses homosexuality in the form of a dialogue between God and Satan.

sinister_beauty: -loves on her new The Notebook soundtrack and Jack Sparrow T-shirt-
mistresstoas: bwaha, jack sparrow shirts are teh best. but careful not to do what i do and stroke his face when you think no one is looking. i've done that and have had many customers at work think i was just stroking my breasts for no reason.

oh, I'm dancing in the rain, I'm dancing in the rain

But I cannot tell a lie, I was actually out jogging instead of dancing.

And to be perfectly honest, it had stopped raining when I went out.

Of course, I was jogging so gracefully that it was as if I was dancing along the walkways towards the east end.

Well, never shall I fib, my shorts kept falling down, so I wasn't actually too very graceful.

And it did start raining again once I reached the east end beach.

And the lightning was impressive.

oh, I'm running in the rain, I'm running in the rain!

no_loafing asks the fundamental question: How many Harry/Draco love LJ communities is enough?

Quoted with permission:

"Because, after all, if H/D are exploding with love, how can even four communities contain it all? Answer: They can't. Read: infinity. I can see you're having a hard time following my superhuman intellect. Okay, let me break it down for you: it's easy, just times 4 by 2, and flip it over on its side. INFINITY. I rest my case."

Read the entire carefully reasoned and brilliantlrant here.......