August 3rd, 2004

dancing indigo

Intelligence.

Pretend you have a child. Now.. if the world is
  an unsafe place (and it is), do you tell your children "You will get in a car accident. We don't know when.. but it's very likely you will." or do you do what you can to prepare your child for the eventualities that life will bring without necessarily frightening the shit out of him? Tom Ridge is a scare monger. And, frankly, my roomate's mother's hairdresser's customer's grandmother has better intelligence than Tom Ridge and the
  Bureau of Homeland Security.


--lite on the current terrorist threat that may disrupt the elections [as opposed to last month's terorist threat which may disrupt the elections]
trio

From puddlesofun

Target in the US are selling red string Kabballah bracelets imbued in the tomb of Rachel the Matriarch in Israel with the power to protect agains the evil eye. For $37. (source: SMH) Personally I'd like to see more mystical religous artifacts in department stores. I'd love to be able to walk down the road to Target or K-mart and pick me up some messianic fore skin. Just think of what that could be useful for.

From this post here.
Hakkai, I <3 reversibles, being polite

Banananana!

From ladyjaida's Otakon report (large graphics, may take a while to load):
Then we changed out of costume and headed to line up for the L'Arc~En~Ciel concert, which spawned my hot and disgruntled self portrait. Luckily, though we waited in the impressive heat for over forty-five minutes, we ended up with really decent seats, and my love of L'Arc~En~Ciel increased exponentially. The best part was when the bassist came out with a bunch of bananas and asked the audience, quite cheerfully, "DO YOU WANT TO EAT MY BANANA?" (He asked in capslock, too.) The audience's response, while not so specifically articulated, was "YES HOT DAMN DO I WANT TO EAT YOUR BANANA." (I don't blame the audience.) "DO YOU WANT TO EAT ... MY BANANA?" he demanded for a second time. "WE WANT TO FELLATE YOUR BANANA," the audience more or less replied. So, he did what any sane bassist would do. He chucked his bananas at the audience. (Banana-related injuries: two. Can you imagine coming home from a concert with a large lump on your head and explaining to your mother and father, "Oh, that, that's nothing, I was the lucky fan who got hit by L'Arc~En~Ciel's banana!" ? No. I thought not.)
  • Current Music
    Pizzicato Five - La Guerre est Finie
Mommy-Niv-Shai-2010

(no subject)

From chemicalresult, relating an IM conversation:

chemicalresult: Ironically, our August [transit] cards have a happy graphic of the 5 color terrorist threat system.... NOT what I want to see when I swipe it getting on a bus...

[Friend]: Oh jeeeez! :-) For the love of God! As if anybody knows what the damn colors mean. Do you feel safer with that stupid system?

chemicalresult: No! I feel like oranges are getting a bad rap.

(no subject)

From an IM conversation about the johnxjohn community merrickm posts on his journal.


JallakMien: I think the Bush campaign should find this community. And figure out some way to use it to their advantage in attack ads. That'd be great.
JustBrethe: LoL yes
JustBrethe: "Kerry and Edwards are using their realitively good looks to destroy the morals and decency of this country's impressionable youth"
JustBrethe: it would show all these giggly young girls on their computers making icons
JustBrethe: "Do you want YOUR daughters writing porn about YOUR president?"
JustBrethe: "When your children turn 18, they need to vote for a president, not publicize lewd fantasies about them. Take the safe route."
bees

(no subject)

From kaoskytton, on being harangued for "juicy details" of her evening out:

"Oh, and, key...every time I do have deviant sex, I'll write about it here, okay? The whole purpose of Livejournal is so that I don't have to tell the same story twenty times over twenty cups of coffee.

I just don't have that kind of time, man. Seriously. Buy some porn."
Default

Never underestimate office equipment

Dear Boss-Lady,
Whatever the fax tells you is a damned dirty LIE. It was ON, I heard it DIAL, it made the FAXY NOISES, and then NOTHING HAPPENED. Nothing. I am sure I did something incorrectly, but if the machine tells you I threatened it with sports equipment and a very large cat, it is LYING.
I threatened it with TWO cats.

-jenni_the_odd, in various notes to people and things encountered during her workday.
  • Current Music
    Das Stereo
wall-e farewell

How long do you think it takes to cook rat?

Rachel Ray has her defenders. I will squeeze out a few compliments from my repertoire of Raytred. Umm, well she's practical. If you're a working mother and you come home and you need ideas for a quick dinner, I'm sure a 30 minute meal is very appealing. I won't argue that her show doesn't offer anything to viewers who crave this sort of thing; I'll simply argue that she's the most irritating woman on TV and that every time I see her or hear her speak I want to vomit.

It's just that she's so self-consciously cutesy. She thinks that she's adorable and rests all her laurels on that notion. She's like "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" except she's still Baby Jane. Someone needs to feed her a dead rat.

--The Amateur Gourmet amateurgourmet in his from-Paid-Programming-to-Paid-Programming marathon of the Food Network.
sunday in the sunset leaves

::snerk::

disc_sophist, locked post, quoting with permission:
Note: This should not be taken as an indication that I enjoy my job and/or wish to continue in this line of work. In my imagination (which is a pretty big part of my reality), I'm vacationing in Nepal with Beanie and Viggo. There's probably leather involved.
  • Current Music
    "Chest Fever" - the Band (stuck in head)
What's your superpower?

As found on som_pos

"after reading your comment, I became half crazed by the voices in my brain telling me that I should make a parody of the songs in Oklahoma with things like "Mooooooooooo-oo-dor, where the Wraiths come sweepin' in for pain!" as lyrics." ~itealaich

""Baelrog with a Fringe on Top"

"Poor Gandalf is Dead"

"Oh What a Beautiful One Ring" ("Our doom is as high as that eye in the skyyyyyy...!")

It should be called OklaFrodo!" ~amandathegreat

"All of these things you have said are very sick and wrong, and I admire that greatly." ~flewellyn

See the rest at This thread.
  • Current Mood
    amused *dies laughing*
Agrippa
  • shezan

Cont'd page 94

Good grief! Thanks to pandarus, I now realise there's Private Eye RPS out there. Private Eye/Star Wars RPS, too!
It was quiet and late, and [Ian Hislop] was happily settled in his favourite armchair reading back issues of Private Eye. It was a tremendously silly indulgence and one that he didn’t let anyone else know about. No need to hand out opportunities to be teased. But the house was still and silent, save for the occasional chortle of a man who knew good political satire when he read it. And that, Ian considered, was tremendously nice.

It didn’t last. Of course not. Ian eyed the phone for a full three seconds before he picked it up and answered with a resigned, “Yes?”

“Ian!” It was Paul. And he sounded chipper. Ian rolled his eyes heavenwards and noticed that the ceiling really was an ugly shade of cream. “You know Star Wars.”

It was something of an embarrassment for Ian that the first thing he thought of was not Reagan’s ridiculous fantasy of an SDI defence, but Chewy piloting the Millennium Falcon. He was rather fond of Chewbacca, something of an unsung hero. Of course, this wasn’t something he was going to admit.

“I thought Bush had given up on that,” he replied nonchalantly. There was a moment of silence on the other end.

“Not that, the other one. You know. With spaceships and stuff.”

Read the rest here. And a megaglomp to calapine!
  • Current Mood
    enthralled
sumomo dancing
  • ysabel

(no subject)

Two bits of ranting by amaltheae:

On a random side note, can anyone explain to me why every Starbucks in the world believes that low, romantic mood lighting is a good thing for a bathroom? I may be completely unusual in this, but I don't generally sniff toilet paper to tell if we're reached an all clear yet. I prefer to be able to actually SEE it, which makes romantic lighting both bizzare in its own right, as well as counter-productive to the actual goings on that happen in such a facility.

...

Is the road closed entirely and there was a shortage on road closed signs this week? Are we hiring dyslexic monkeys to place our signs at this point to cut costs? Has the road crew invested in all the major insurance firms and they just want to watch everyone try to cross each other while they make money? What in bloody hell is going on? And I am not talking about one sign point that could have been an oops, either. I am talking about 5 miles of signs that were all consistent in their impossibility.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Ultrababy X

(no subject)

My friend the eideteker is my hero. And a genius. Observe:
"The Department of Homeland Security has announced that it is raising the Alertness Level for the NY and DC area to the new BLACK level which means there will be ninjas fucking everywhere."
froda avatar

Oh Sam, Why Must You Quote That Song?

You know, for all my mailbox has been deluged with LJ-notifications from two months ago, in a way it's kind of fun. Sort of like the Wells Fargo wagon is delivering my comments. (And possibly a box of maple sugar for my birthday. Or a grey mackinaw.)

I just sit back and pretend I'm Michael J Fox in the Back to the Future movies*, and Doc is sending me letters from where he's gotten stuck in June 27th.

* Only taller, and having ditched the pegged jeans.

~copperbadge
  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky
Roxalicious!

All I wanted was....

Gacked with permission from a LJer that wishes to remain anonymous:

"Stuff happened. I didn't really care. I just wanted to play my fucking oboe."

He should be handcuffed to his keyboard and be made to continue typing out these witticisms. Because believe me, he spouts them every single day.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
alert the medic

(no subject)

There's something seriously satisfying about finally getting back on paid account status after 3 months and spending the afternoon restocking icons. It's like having a zen garden, only geekier and with less karmic value. - dahchi
  • Current Mood
    calm calm