July 26th, 2004

merchgirl

(no subject)

from glittersavvy:

While sewing, Sam's rogue needle decides to embed itself halfway deep into her finger.
Sam blinks at her mishap. "Wow."
Then after a few seconds she realizes that even though her digit is essentially impaled, she feels nothing!
Elated with her newfound powers, Sam races downstairs, exclaiming "I'm superhuman! I am immune to pain, muha!" before stubbing her toe on the door and keeling over in agony.

(no subject)

trixie_chick on the sexuality of computers (though you might not get the humor if you are not familiar with yaoi):

"...my computers have a top and a bottom. O_o my laptop will connect to my compy (wirelessly), but my compy won't connect to my laptop. since they are both boys, the compy just must be a fussy bottom. strange, he wasn't that way with the old laptop..."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Francine - harvest

I say bonus.

maeyan quotes the Ethics Newsletter for state government employees:

"We’ve told agencies in the past that giving money (or savings bonds) for employee recognition looks too much like additional compensation for performing a job they are already paid to do. Accordingly, plagues or other non-money awards may be given instead."

maeyan: Should I *assume* that is a typo, or d'ya think this bad luck lately was a "bonus" in recognition of my hard work?
  • Current Music
    Bury My Lovely - October Project

Two amusing quotes

From two very amusing people. First of all philomel talks about her new Lord of the Rings Coronation Gift Set:

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Secondly, darkillusion is having pet problems:

One of our birds was discovered to be missing from the aviary this morning. We have located him stuck in a neighbours tree.

I kid you not, one of our birds is stranded in a tree and is too scared to get down. He's like the cat that climbs the tree and isn't brave enough to climb down. He is prancing about the branches, climbing up and down on the thin ends and trying to find a ladder down but cannot be convinced to fly down. There isn't anything wrong with his wings and he isn't physically stuck in the tree, he just will not fly down.

My bird is stuck in a tree. Oh the hilarity.


Both from locked posts, with permission.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

Today I went with my sister to see my cousin Ellie, who is 18 months old, as my nan was looking after her for the day. Now, I am probably the least maternal person ever - you give me a baby to hold, and I really, seriously, don't know what to do with it! I also know I never want children. My sister is the opposite, and she is OBSESSED with Ellie. She thinks Ellie can talk and always tells me all these words she can say so I went over today basically to see for myself. You show Ellie a picture of a bear and say "what's that?" and she says "ba". Fair enough, I guess that COULD be sort of bear. You show her a duck, she says "ba". Meanwhile, my sister and nan are going "oh my god, she said duck!" While I'm telling them: "no, she said ba, again!" They're seriously deluded. We're sitting there and Ellie says "baba" and my nan said "She can say tortoise!!!" Seriously. I mean, just because there is a toy tortoise near her and she made a noise DOES NOT MEAN SHE CAN SAY TORTOISE!
-bugsytpm
outside

look: it's not funny. at all.

but I appreciate that she can be all poetical about something that's tearing me up at the moment. so just deal, ok?

"I'm thinking about how I'm bitching and moaning about boys and school and these stupid insignifigant things, when people who are my age can die. But that's how death is. It's the one thing in the world that doesn't care how old you are, or what color or religion you are, or what you did in your life. And somehow that's oddly comforting to me."-shibaiko
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

docwebster, on Kerry's "indecisiveness."

I hear people bleating about Kerry being "indecisive", so they'll vote for Bush even though they don't like him even a little.

Let me see if I can put this in perspective for you.. I'd vote for John Kerry right now if he sodomized Mother Theresa while strangling orphans with one hand and clubbing seals with the other, all the while repeatedly kicking me in the scrotum and forcing me to listen to "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins" by Leonard Nimoy in one ear and Phyllis Diller covering "Satisfaction" in the other ear, on endless loop.


In this post.
  • Current Music
    Deja Blue - The Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra & Chorus