Today I went with my sister to see my cousin Ellie, who is 18 months old, as my nan was looking after her for the day. Now, I am probably the least maternal person ever - you give me a baby to hold, and I really, seriously, don't know what to do with it! I also know I never want children. My sister is the opposite, and she is OBSESSED with Ellie. She thinks Ellie can talk and always tells me all these words she can say so I went over today basically to see for myself. You show Ellie a picture of a bear and say "what's that?" and she says "ba". Fair enough, I guess that COULD be sort of bear. You show her a duck, she says "ba". Meanwhile, my sister and nan are going "oh my god, she said duck!" While I'm telling them: "no, she said ba, again!" They're seriously deluded. We're sitting there and Ellie says "baba" and my nan said "She can say tortoise!!!" Seriously. I mean, just because there is a toy tortoise near her and she made a noise DOES NOT MEAN SHE CAN SAY TORTOISE!