"Yeah, all the new universities in America are laid out like that. Building A is for the Arts, Building B is for Biology, Building C is for Communications... the campuses have all these buildings now and a lot of them would just go to waste, which is why you can now get degrees in areas of study like Xylophone Repair and Umbrella Juggling."
--nedroid, in this thread at customers_suck, on an American exchange student who insisted that the arts building couldn't be Building D, because arts doesn't start with D. It only gets better from there.
As an aside, I was figuring this to be a truly surreal experience, and the mobster leading a stretching session proved me right."
--naissa, on her recent discovery fo Hellblazer, and the more dismaying discovery that Keanu "whoa" Reaves is playing the title role.
"...I need a "Charles in Charge" of my days and my nights, Charles in Charge of my wrongs and my rights. He'll be the new boy in the neighborhood, he'll live downstairs and it'll be understood, he's there just to take good care of me... like he's one of the family."
--bitteroptimist about a stressy series of days.
"Not nearly tough enough. Let's see a truck pass a full-term baby through its tailpipe. ;)"
--enzeru about the Dodge Ram's terrible secret.
"If you've never seen a corgi try to unwrap a giant tennis ball, well, let me tell you, it's damn funny. ;D"
--techno4tomcats about her Corgi's birthday gift.
"I'm very quickly getting extremely tired of getting stared at by Hell Berry's freaky, vapid eye in Alleycatwoman ads on websites."
--kuchenhexe on the feline travesty movie. [heh. Hell Berry. I like that.]
So we read, we document our readings, and I return the documented readings to the front desk. Wee-one wants his well earned prize. His prize today?
A white plastic bag. No lies, a plastic shopping bag. Not even with anything cool stenciled on the side of it (like Hulk or spiderman, or a freakin' blue circle or something). Hey, support your local library, but come on. Giving my under four years old kid a bag for a prize????? Morons. I mean to say: moe-rons. So when they gave us the bag, we clapped with glee, then I put the bag over my head and said, "Watch this trick...here comes Mr. Blue Face!"
Mr. Blue Face isn't allowed in the library anymore.
Emo anthems are this generation's power ballads. This shit's just a can of Aquanet and a fog machine away from being "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". --blackgarden
--bzarcher, on hearing that they're thinking of doing a Death movie and that Neil Gaiman himself may direct!!
What you say!!
After the truth of That Woman's Feline Travesty movie and the rumor of the Jack Black Green Lantern, this is news that soothes like a balm.
Even if it turns out just a rumor too.
--apocalypsos, who I haven't seen quoted here in a bit, on the Feline Travesty movie. She and I share a worldview on this particular subject...except my anti-That Woman tag team consisted of Eartha Kitt, Lee Meriweather, Julie Newmar, and Michelle Pfeiffer.
They are building a Tasti-D-Lite on Broadway, between 47th and 48th. I suppose to compete with the Tasti-D-Lite between 48th and 49th. And the one between 51st and 52nd.
The scarier part is that there is nothing IN Tasti-D-Lite ice cream. It's low carb, low fat, low sugar and blessed by a rabbi. And it's STILL $2.75 for a small cone! What exactly are we paying for?
"Of course, the vet asked over and over again if Bop was eating. Y'see, for those of you who don't have cats, felines are pretty-much OK as long as they are eating. In fact, the only time I've ever heard a vet voice concern is if a cat is not eating. A cat could have limbs severed and tentacles sprouting from his forehead and the vet would first want to know if he was eating."
that's right, that's right. i am one-tenth of the way to my goal.
weeee! all the boys are going to want to have my babies soon enough.
(i kid, of course. my diet plan doesn't come with ovaries.)
from the ever-amusing blue_farewell in this unlocked post with permission.
there is nothing better than a thorough flogging to bring an emotional crazed freak right back down to the planet.
Quoted from chaoticerotic
And one more, unrelated:
My son is 10, and I swear I could hear the "click" about four months ago when his hormones switched on. There is now an attitudinal, whiny, lazy pain in the ass where my sweet, funny, helpful little boy used to be. Now I understand what my mother meant when she told me he was "the Universe's revenge for your teenage years." Eeep.
Okay, now. Forget the spirea. Forget the gingkos. Forget the Boxwoods. Visualise...
You are sitting in this heat, this unbearable, uncooled humid heat, with sweat pooling in the cups of your bra, and you're terrified to wear light-coloured pants because you're sweating everywhere and you don't want to have water stains on your behind...
... and you're doing this in an office full of OTAKU.
Now complain about the smells on the street.
third. we should have blown up the pyramids. cause the 911 leader terrorist guy was egyptian. i dont understand how everybody missed that? terrorist leader=egyptian. country attacking=egypt. i mean the motivation is obvious. the twin towers were bigger than the pyramids. maybe not in girth. but in height. thats why egyptians hate americans. cause we are taller than them. it would have made the war effort an eye for an eye. and thats really all most people understand or want for that matter.
rest of the post found here
--nute does a Friday Five
<i>this whole cookie baking fiasco reminds me of my mother's attempt to find every shape imaginable to make cookies into for christmas gifts.
Let's just say she wasn't serious when she said every shape, and got pretty mad when I submitted my penis cookie to her oven.
I gave that one to grandma.</i>
Some days it's just a miracle I'm not up on the nearest piece of furniture threatening to beat people with my flip-flop sandal at the top of my lungs.
Sorry, just could not resist. It is too brilliant not to share.