July 20th, 2004

aladdin - pretty jasmine

(no subject)

When there is a poor, unknowing cyclist on the side of the road, rolling along his merry way in his spandex shorts and funny helmet, the SUV will bear down upon him like the Red Sea on Ramses, and the cyclist will wet his shorts, and his bicycle will be no more.

whisperwords from over here
Random - Trippy Colours

(no subject)

From this post by the_awfultruth in atheist:

A snippet of the actual post (sans annoying font size and colour alterations):
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horsefacehannah: Your grammar makes me want to believe in god.

madmravyn: If I believed in Satan I'd sell my soul to him for one chance to slap people who type like that silly.

brynderoy: The mere state of her grammar and spelling confirms that there truly is no god.


And of course, this response from iworshipsatin made me chuckle as well.

Edit: I should also probably mention that I found this, thanks to mountain_hiker

One Track Mind

ford_of_bruinen: hmm..*is reading swedish passport application* the sad thing is that I can't figure out half of the things they need me to fill in...such as what the hell is a rps number? *lol* I can't believe this is my first language...
ilye_elf: RPS number?
ilye_elf: Isn't that real person slash?
ford_of_bruinen: *rotfl* That was the first thing I thought as well
ford_of_bruinen: *wonders how the consulate would react if she filled in box as "Sorry, I prefer FPS...RPS just doesn't do a thing..."
ilye_elf: I think it might be something to do with tax... stuff.
ford_of_bruinen: actually it seems to be under the part they have to fill in... that is so much better.
ford_of_bruinen: that is so much better... I am happy to ignore all forms of RPS
  • Current Music
    The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk
I'll Need Booze For This One

"A plethora of shipbutt" is my phrase for the day

And here's jollybanshee in firesignwriter's journal, wherein there is much photos of the, ah, sterns of POTC ships...

You know what's funny about this? I said I wanted a view of a ship as it's sailing away and smutfiend decides that I want ship arse.

I pointed out the vision of the Pearl when Elizabeth first saw it disappearing into the fog as the idea of it and killjoy says that the Pearl was actually turning into the fog and you saw the front of it. Okay, sez I, thinking that the obsessive one would probably know that. But the point of it was that I wanted the whole ship so I could see what the whole thing looked like as it was sailing away... the best one of the above being the NINTH picture.

What do I get? A plethora of shipbutt.

This is a lesson in dealing with a slash writer. When I say "I want a view of a ship sailing away," she hears "SHIPBUTT!! CLOSEUP OF SHIPBUTT!! EXTREME CLOSEUP OF SHIPBUTT! ARRR."

Well. Now I know.


[ EDIT: Doqz is always quoteworthy. ]

Choose your targets wisely

chickenhat gives fair warning:

Do NOT try to use social engineering to test our IT security when the 2 people on duty used to be a pre-school teacher and the other one a bouncer.

Because we'll KNOW when you're lying.


It's said that Moms always know. Pre-school teachers and bouncers are probably the next best thing, though.
  • Current Mood
    busy
Nanerpus!

"Dear Kelis,

I know making fun of "The Milkshake Song" at this late date is a bit tacky, but I still have a few questions . . .

1. What are you referring to by "your milkshake?" Is it your ass, because of the way you shake it? If so, that's not appealing, because milkshakes are usually cold, and the dairy aspect isn't helping either. Is it a metaphor for sex, because of the gooey consistency? If so, ew, and also, see above. I can't think of anything that makes more sense than an actual milkshake. I like milkshakes.
2. By the same token, what does it mean, to bring the boys to the yard? I guess you mean, it causes all the boys, helpless like dogs to a bitch in heat, to gather around you, show up at your house. But I can't help but imagine you out there, in the yard, with a blender and a tub of ice cream, with a line of boys waiting to plonk down $3.
3. "And they're like, it's better than yours," has some serious pronoun problems. I think I've figured it out: "they" refers to the boys, "it" refers to your (Kelis') milkshake, and "yours" refers to my (the listener's) milkshake. That sentence could be much clearer, really. For one thing, you never address me directly before that point, and yet, I am supposed to realize that the boy is referring to me when you put words in his mouth.
4. If you can teach me how, but you have to charge, then, in fact, it can be bought.

Thank you. I eagerly await your response."

-tritium in this post.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
singular love affair

Big Daddy Mags weighs in

swankyfunk grouses on Bryan Singer's betrayal of the X-Men franchise to take on the Superman movie.

Bryan, you miserable little queen,

What on earth is going on in that pretty head of yours? I rather thought we had something beautiful between us, but apparently I was wrong. The hot tub and the nude beach meant nothing to you, I suppose.

So now you're flouncing off with that prick of steel, Superman. (Actually, you may be onto something here...but I digress...) And by the way, that Luthor fellow is a complete and utter slut. Lois? Less personality than Halle Berry in a wig and contacts.

Well, in any case, it was good knowing you, my dear boy. Just remember that I won't be there the next time you need me to levitate you during long production breaks.

Love,
Mags
  • Current Music
    oh yes, I am sitting in a coffee shop listening to jazz.
K: Hey Stupid!, K: The Unholy Duo, Dogmatix, K: Lesbian Again, K: Laughing Out Loud

(no subject)

What I need is some porn music.
No, Gackt doesn't count.

-- quixotic_sense

Now, my dear readers are no doubt asking, "Epona, why are you spending the night in a hospital with notoriously uncomfortable call room beds when you yourself are not on-call? Has the borderline masochism which prompted you to go into medicine in the first place suddenly spiraled out of control? Should we expect to see you in a leather bikini and handcuffs at DexCon?"

-- drharper
spn - brother times

(no subject)

In which la_rainette watches Disney's Brother Bear with her two very small children, Froglet and Tadpole. It should be pointed out that "the bum" is what her two year old calls the couch.

Froglet: What are they doing?
Me: They're playing I spy.
Tadpole: Me too! Me too! I spy, with my a-eye, something that's...
Froglet: GET OUT OF THE WAY I CAN'T SEE THE MOVIE
Tadpole: But I want to play I spyyyyyyyyyyy.
Froglet: MOOOOOOOOM!
Me: Come sit down on the bum, Tadpole.
Tadpole: sulks in silence.

Tadpole: Want orange juice.
Me: Can you wait just a minute?
Tadpole: Pleasepleaseplease.
Me: OK *gets up to get orange juice*
Froglet: MOMMY DON'T GO I'M SCAAAAAAAAARED! *weeps*


Really, the whole post is priceless.
tiger

(no subject)

pragmatists on organized religion (locked post, but reposted with permission):

I'm non-denominational for a reason -- I have my faith and what I hold true to myself and I don't need some bloated man in a cassock telling me Do This Or Else.
happyraver

PRRRRRRRRRRAISE Jesus!

furikku, in wtf_inc, in a discussion about Christian fundamentalism and dating:

Yeah, it's fun. I mean, I get that shit EVERY DAY. Like, the other day, I woke up, and went outside, and greeted my neighbour and then he said, "SATAN IS LIFE AND GOD IS BAD YOU HORRIBLE CHRISTIAN!" Then my dog walked up and told me that I should stop believing in God because science has proved the Bible wrong. His head started spinning around, so I had to stone him to death.

And that was my day in the JackChickverse