July 18th, 2004


(no subject)

On slash pairings that should just never happen:

geni91782: ....legolas/balrog...
halcyon: ewwwww
halcyon: ewewewewew
halcyon: balrog> *roar*
halcyon: nobody should be slashed with a fiery beast from hell
geni91782: legolas> your roar of death has enticed me
halcyon: balrog> die elf
geni91782: legolas> but... i love you!
halcyon: balrog> really? i love you too!
geni91782: legolas> yay! let us frolick through the forests and show the world our love!
halcyon: balrog> okay! *sets the forest on fire*
halcyon: balrog> ahh, daylight! *dies a balrog-y death*
geni91782: legolas> NOOOOO! *diminishes and all that elven crap*

-posted in halcyon's journal

Even slash fans have their limits!
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    amused amused


rhiannonhero in a f-locked post, [quoted with permission]

In highschool there was this exchange student from China named Yu Chi. Anyway, the first day of class I was sitting next to her and she said, "I smell penis!"

I was like, "Huh?"

And she said, "I smell penis!"

I was like, "Um, uhhhh."

So a few minutes later I got up to sharpen my pencil and I saw a Reese's cup package in the garbage and I was like, "OH!!!!! YOU SMELL PEANUTS!!! PEANUTS! With a very important T!"

And she said, "Yes, I smell penis."

And I was like, "NO!! PEA-nuTTTTS!!!"
  • Current Music
    enjoy the silence - depeche mode
[c] hark! a vagrant! - eat a dick
  • renne

(no subject)

In the same conversation, I made a classic quote that I feel should be enshrined for all history in an LJ entry: "I think calculus is like sticking a fork up your arse - you can do it, but most people find it hurts too much so they don't."

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
like to kill (menacing)

from therosewilde

Look, I know you are heterosexual. I'm not prejudiced. Some of my best friends are straight. But really, do you think that you are setting a good example for the children? I mean, i'm not saying you are entirely responsible for the decline of society's morals, but you do have to admit the facts are rather damning. 90% of all murders are commited by heterosexuals. 100% of all war-mongering politicians slef-identify as straight.
As I said, i'm not prejudiced. I don't care if you are straight. Just as long as you act gay around me.

intertubes tmicore

Because I have to.

Yes, it's me. Yes, this is uncouth. But I'm drunk, and if the mods wish to delete, the mods may delete away.

Me, in response to a comment someone made regarding my stance on calculus as not actively causative of physical harm (they suggested I spend an afternoon in their math class to change my mind):

I stay away from mathematics for the same reason I stay away from brown recluse spiders: it can cause me great pain and anguish, and I can't hurt it at all save for swatting at it with my rapidly necrosing arms while I die a painful death.

(no subject)

miscellanny reviews "A Knight's Tale":

Okay, no one warned me about the stupendous amounts of gay in this film. I would've remembered something like that.

"Hey, Nny? Watch out for the stupendous amounts of gay. You may wanna wear a hard hat."

Sound familiar? No. 'cos it didn't *happen*. I was completely unprepared for it. SO MUCH GAY. *SO* MUCH.

Apart from that? All the gay, I mean? It's a bad film. Really bad. It does what it does badly. Don't give me "mixing ancient and modern leik wo!" 'cos I will say Romeo and Juliet and probably bite you, too. It attempted to play sweet music on my heartstrings like someone attempting to play the ukulele (or however you spell that damn thing) wearing gardening gloves.
smoking dwiv

Bread over the Event Horizon

I love reading mrpsyklops because he likes to write things like this in his normal day-to-day updates of his life:

I slept in yesterday. After I got up, I went out and bought some groceries. James and Jennifer prefer processed white bread, but since I was buying, I got some really, good bread.

This was bread with character, bread that still had chaff and bark and pine cones and whole field mice in it. Cast this bread upon the water and it would plunge to the bottom and leave a hole in the sea bed. Crunchy bread. Bread with stamina and also a strength, agility, and constitution score.
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    She Caught The Katy -- The Blues Brothers
I am unreasonable

(no subject)

From guitaromantic's entry here:

"Did you take a shower today?"
"Did you see a bottle of cleaning spray by your towel?"
"Did you move it or anything?"
No...I thought it was just...there.
"Ok well, there's a bug under there, I killed it earlier today. So you can move it if you want to, the bug is already dead."
I'll think about it.

Probably the most exciting thing to happen in this house today.
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    amused amused