July 12th, 2004

(no subject)

From my good-but-objectively-still-evil twin hija_paloma, here:

Tonight I have been divebombed by a gimongus fly, bitten by an ant, and jumped on by a flea. What the fuck, am I some kind of insect fraternity initiation rite? I do hope not, as the ant's parents are going to be severely pissed they wasted $30,000 so he could get crushed by a corner of Games magazine.
Didrik window

you know you're addicted to LJ when...

"you know it's time to step away from LJ when you start speaking as if you're posting. last night before heading out to see Anchorman, which was hilarious, by the way, i peaked into my wallet and then proceeded to say, "oh, that won't be enough. *grabs another twenty.*" yes, indeedy, folks, i actually said. out loud. "grabs another twenty" as though it were in between *'s."

Said by koncupiscence in this entry.
no place like home
  • garsha

Had to join just to post this...

From the oh-my-god-so-quotable wigu:

Basically everything about smoking is bad except for the fact that sometimes smoking lets you see a laser beam that, if you walked through, would probably cause a giant pendulum to swing down and cut you vertically in half.

Everyone in the world should go read the whole fabulous post about lasers as well as the rest of his hilarious journal. Right now. Go! =)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Again, two in one

Would be three in one, but someone was quicker than me earlier about a quote from misia *grin*.

Anyway, from two friends-only posts, both quoted with permission, by missysedai.

Collapse )

With enticement like that...

And here she presents a bit of ageless wisdom:

It's hard to work with a cat in your cleavage.

Now I haven't done a formal study or anything, but I guess nine out of ten of cleavage+cat owners would agree.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful
tits-SinFest
  • deza

(no subject)

But not husband and husband. Or wife and wife. Cuz gays are evil.

All that "marriage without procreation" defies the sanctity of God's will. The procreation without marriage, however, God is totally down with.


From adellyna, here.
molotov

The next time someone does something un-Christian, tell them this!

cuddlymuffinbutt: you make the baby jesus cry
cuddlymuffinbutt: but his tears are acid
cuddlymuffinbutt: and they burn his face
cuddlymuffinbutt: so he's crying and burning his face off
cuddlymuffinbutt: and his own tears are making him cry more
cuddlymuffinbutt: so he's crying and burning and then he sets off the smoke alarm
cuddlymuffinbutt: and it is a sad day in heaven
cuddlymuffinbutt: and its all your fault
lollerskates: HOORAY!

-- lollerskates, here.
Twilight

Trampolines and sex

from parmandiriel: Another trampoline thief has struck. A trampoline has been stolen from "a business" says the police reports. And what this is leaving me wondering, is, what kind of business has a stealable trampoline? Perhaps a trampoline store? The city Trampoline Emporium? Or maybe just an office building with a stress-relieving bouncing toy in the backyard?


And, the comments...

muskratalex:How the hell do you steal a trampoline without nobody noticing you?
spear_maiden: Put it under your shirt.
parmandiriel: which is, of course, prompting far too many bad jokes for me to even start. ("Where is the trampoline?" "IN MY PANTS!")
spear_maiden: If there was a trampoline in one's pants, I would hate to think of how someone else would jump on such a trampoline... (Rol: Tila! There's a trampoline in your pants!
Tila: I know. Why don't you...)
parmandiriel: *facepalm* A trampoline in the pants. That is absolutely the worst invitation for sex. EVER.