July 11th, 2004

new meez, default

Some excerpts from misia's to-do list.

Sort through my brassiere drawer and throw away all the ones that have long since blown a gasket and which I haven't thrown away yet because I am evidently harboring some hope that my bra drawer will be touched by heavenly grace and all my dead brassieres will rise and live again.

Ditto for the panties, 'cause it's just sad when you really really don't want to deal with laundry and so you tell yourself "oh, sure, I can wear those one more time" even though they've got holes that you could drive a Dodge Dart through and the elastic is saggier than an Enron executive's alibis and if you (God forbid) ended up in the emergency room after a car crash or something not only your mother but you yourself would be so mortified you would wish for full and immediate anaesthesia.
  • Current Mood
    amused giggling like a maniac
murdoch
  • kimera

from madkrazyghetto:

RIGHT so I was watching PRT this morning and TRENT GETS HIS OWN PROMO. He was all like, "I used to be evil, then I freed myself" and then I was all like, "NO YOU DIDN'T IT WAS AN ACCIDENT YOU FUCKER!" And I threw some Goldfish at the TV in annoyance.
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper
I see you

(no subject)

"The spider and me had another fight today. It says we don't communicate anymore. How can I communicate while it's sucking the liquefied interior out of insects all day? Besides, it's not like we have that much in common. I have four appendages it has eight. I have a vertebrae it has a hard carapace. It shoots a fine thin string of silk out of its butt; while I shoot...well, you know." (cont.)

-jcp9382 on himself and his icky roommates relationship and their inherent differences.
  • Current Mood
    good good

(no subject)

essayel talks about her weekend:

Then while Anna and I finished painting a wall in the cottage they are building the two blokes went out and murdered the squirrel that has been killing all their saplings. Tough on the squirrel I know but the trees couldn't run away and the squirrel had been given every encouragement to do so and wouldn't. Instead it sat up the trees and went 'bleeeeaaaahhh" and flipped them the bird everytime they shot and missed. I don't think any court would convict.
asap
  • ysabel

(no subject)

revdj tells us about needing his fix:

PEON: There is a computer lab upstairs. I can unlock it for you so you can check your email for a few minutes. How long do you need?
DOUG: It isn't a question of need, it is a question of want.
PEON: What do you mean?
DOUG: I don't need to check my email per se. It's just that I haven't been online in over 36 hours and my hands are beginning to shake and I'm feeling bugs crawling on my flesh.
  • Current Mood
    sympathetic sympathetic

(no subject)

It's hard not to quote this girl, often I find myself forcing segments of her prose onto strangers outside my house.

There is but one thing wrong with this starry night. That is...

the bugs won't stop going kamikaze into my seltzer.


Said by the delectable cherrycokehead, here
mucha mosaic

Showtune queens takes on a whole new level.

Lifted from this entry, in rollick's journal:

I'm pretty sure that when I my sister and I were little and my born-and-raised-in-Oklahoma, good-Southern-Baptist, devoted-Christian-school-teacher mother taught us the words to the title song of the musical "Oklahoma!," it was so we could sing it with her when we drove to Oklahoma to see our extended family, and not so I could stand in a packed, sweaty gay bar, sipping alcoholic frozen pink lemonade, and belting out at the top of my lungs — in unison with several hundred men and a handful of women — these slightly modified lyrics:

We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand
And when we say HEY! I-yip-i-yip-i-ay!
We're only saying, "You're doing fine, you're a homo
You're a homo, YOU'RE GAY!"
lady tree tree

(no subject)

denara: American money is pretty dumb anyways, why print "25" on the coin when you can write "Quarter Dollar" instead?
chikkiboo: Why print "quarter dollar" on the coin when you can write "25 cents" instead? They mean the exact same thing.
twrex10: why not just make it really easy print .25 on quarters .05 on nickels .10 on dimes and leave whole numbers on the bills
chikkiboo: Why not make TALKING MONEY that READS OUT LOUD how much it's worth?
pingpong_abyss: Why not make TELEPATHIC money that thinks the numbers to you?
chikkiboo: What, you expect me to
think?

Comments left in Mock_the_stupid in this thread.