July 9th, 2004

K: Smile, K: Personal, K: My Friends Rock, Smile!, K: Sophie

"...can we go back to the POINT of this analogy?"

The following is a brief OOC conversation posted in the journal of a friend of mine. I'm not linking to the post in question for personal reasons. But the quote is genuine, it cracked me up (there's something "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern" about it, IMHO), I have permission to quote it, and no, it really has nothing to do with the game except for this general question: how much can a man take, anyway?

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Freaked, K: DW Nine & Rose

(no subject)

From a post about the rather ridiculous terror alert the US government is now touting...

gremlingirl: Should probably read, "Credible, but vague reporting..." We don't know how, we don't know when, but sometime, somewhere, something really bad is going to happen.
elynne: Tonight, on Fox "News"! WE MIGHT BE BOMBED BY THOSE DURN TERRORISTS AAAIEEEEEEEEE!! Also, my head might be on fire.

kamuela: RUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! Department of Homeland Security has documentation indicating that Al Quaeda intends to use Godzilla to attack the Democratic Convention in Boston at the end of July.
lots42: Thank god the random searches will stop Godzilla!
tikiking: and the godzilla-sniffing dogs will help too.

And one more, totally unrelated:

ponderingone:I just bought Red Sonja on DVD because it dropped below my $10 bad movie threshold, to $9.00 - I gave up hoping that they would pay me to own it.
goth freaks
  • namey

I don't wanna be a vampire. I'm a day person.

Vampire Question Number One: So, like, when a vampire bites someone, does it, like, automatically make them into a vampire?

Vampire Answer Number One: No, you twit. Not only does a single bite not confer vampirism on the recipient, but it also a) does not kill the victim, b) does not put the victim under the biter's thrall, and c) does not make them go all moony and lace-nightgown-wearing-y. It's phlebotomy of the sort associated with mosquitoes, only much bigger vertebrate mosquitoes with sexy accents.
  • Current Music
    BlutEngel - Children of the Night
Drew happy

(no subject)

When discussing "Kingdom Hospital" on ABC in my journal, harley said:

King: for my 627th book the protagonist is attacked by umm...uhh...*grabs lamp off desk* A lamp monster, yeah, that's it.

Publisher: You're not even trying anymore are you?...*sighs* okay, when can you have it on my desk?
phoenix ezzicons/xiggy
  • conuly

From dixichicken24

In a post on customers_suck, here

SP: I want these shakes to be vanilla..not chocolate or strawberry or any other flavor that might corrupt the pure vanilla-ness.

M: Alright...I will make sure the vanilla-ness of your shakes is not corrupted by any other flavor.

SP (after recieving her order):I believe I didst order a chocolate shake.

M:*pointing at receipt* No, verily thou didst not. You ordered two vanilla shakes, demanding they not be corrupted with chocolate or any other flavoring agent.

SP: I thought I told you chocolate! Oh the wrath I will bring upon thy head and curses I will plague thy family with if my son will not drink this filth.
shark hug
  • cortie

whee, vampyres!

from vivian:

I dunno, I rather think running around attacking people with a lemon juice screw spout thing and yelling "I FEED!" would be rather entertaining.

in a reply to a post previously quoted...hehe.
default

(no subject)

My mom knew she had to worry when I was in high school not because I dyed my hair. Not because I started wearing baggy jeans. Not because I started wearing silver jewelry on black cords.

...but because I insisted on eating Count Chocula for breakfast every morning.

She took me right to Church and had me straightened out.

I started wearing Abercrombie and Fitch and stopped kissing girls. My life has never been so good. I'm engaged to my high school sweetheart, and he and I are getting married next spring, right before he ships off.

Excuse me, I have to get off the computer and go with my parents to the country club now.

*finishes her diet coke*

-- redstapler; in response to that stupid Catholic Goth-meme thing here
SP Dee

(no subject)

I find it amusing that so many people think of croquet as a particularly genteel sport- when I think of croquet, I think 'drunken strip croquet on the college quad at 3 a.m. after lots of vodka at the annual alternative music festival.' Though, now that I think of it, I'm not sure if the stripping was a part of the game or just a spontanteous thing. Huh.

Ah, college. :)

-- alopekis


And, completely unrelated:

Thought about it. Made my brain explode with stupid.

-- ivyincubus, here
new meez, default

Philosophers aren't like the rest of us.

cakmpls, on having had to look up the word "intussusception", which is a medical term:

I had to look it up because the author uses it in the manuscript I'm editing, and while I have no hope of understanding the content (commentary on some German philosophers, gack), I'd at least like to know what the words mean.

(A managing editor who gives me some of these projects once said, "Sometimes the best you can do in editing philosophy is 'Yes, that's a sentence.'")


Anyone care to speculate on what that word was doing in a philosophy paper?
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
humor

Won't someone think of the children?

In a response to this thread on liberal:


5:10pm EST-The Net (Reuters)
Local poster Parallax is wed to an Idaho grown Carrot today. The Christian world is shaken to it's foundations. The state, normally known for it's tubors, issued a statement denouncing the carrot's decision, just to distance themselves from the whole affair. When asked about the decision, the carrot declined comment. Parallax however is quoted as saying "My Carrot and I are very happy supporting terrorism and not waving flags thank you very much."

This statement confirms Rumsfeld and Cheney's allegations that people who are happy support terrorism. In related events, Democrats inadvertently elect Adolf Hitler as President of the United States of America as part of their "Anyone But Bush" campaign.

--parallaxgl50
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
hobbes
  • crantz

(no subject)

My mom: The address is 50, North Bailey.
Me: But we don't even know where North Bailey is! looks up to see NORTH BAILEY on the next street sign Oh. -- But we don't even know where Neil Gaiman lives!
My mom: What?
Me: Nothing.

-afrai (locked post, quoted with permission)
polycorns

Nothing we haven't heard, but this is still funny.

"...I am also OFFICIALLY RAISING THE TERRORIST COLOR-CODED THREAT LEVEL TO BURNT SIENNA... This means that we should all:

* Be AFRAID
* STOP PAYING ATTENTION to election/campaign coverage
* Be SUSPICIOUS of ALL BROWN PEOPLE
* Be prepared for the current US administration to "uncover" some sort of TERRORIST PLOT just prior to the November 2004 election
* Watch everyone rally around George W. Bush for his administration's EXCELLENT job at uncovering this TERRORIST PLOT!
* VOTE FOR GWB in November! He's the only one that can save us from terrorism since his administration did such a GOOD JOB of uncovering this TERRORIST PLOT...!!"


-The one and only jameth, here
Self - Pinup

My friends list has been especially amusing as of late...

The temptation to skip today and start again Monday is almost overwhelming. Actually, that's not such a bad idea. But would I be allowed to? ARGH! *headbutts wall* WHY DID I SKIP A SEMESTER OF UNIVERSITY TO WORK WHEN FINDING TEMPORARY WORK IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT WHEN I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE AND THE TEMPORARY JOBS THAT DON'T NEED EXPERIENCE NEED DRIVERS LICENSE WHICH I NEED ACTUAL MONEY TO BLOODY WELL GET???

Caps-Lock; the modern-day stress ball.
-seventeen


.. so I was moving boxes around a little while ago, when out of one of them sprang a hot pink, eleven inch vibrator.

I checked the boxes, and all of them seemed to be sealed. So I have no idea where it came from.

So now I have a giant pink dildo in my desk drawer. What seems especially wrong about it isn't that it's a giant dildo, so much as that it's a giant hot pink dildo. If there's a Platonic ideal of the wrong color for a schlong to be, this is it.

Update:
After inserting it into... I mean, sliding it... after placing the phallus into my desk drawer, I discovered another open package beside my desk, unrelated to the earlier boxes. This one contains, uh.... well, what appears to be a device for a similar purpose, for people of the opposite sex. What's with the sudden influx of sexual paraphenalia?! (Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Just curious.)

I feel like I should give the toys some time alone together, or something.
-tempter


All I could think was "man, I want some onion rings." I tried to shake the idea from my head, but it kept getting stronger. David Sedaris tastes better with ONION RINGS. I bet William Faulkner wrote the sound and the fury about DEEP FRYING BREADED ONIONS. It was terrible, I had to leave.

Now I am frying rings of onions. I will soon be in bliss.
-hyperform
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    FF5