June 19th, 2004

intertubes tmicore

Recording Magnate Theater.

drgrumbles, discussing an individual called "Skye Sweetnam" and how the recording industry thinks:


Recording Magnate Number 1: "Our sales are in the toilet and we're losing millions!"

Recording Magnate Number 2: "According to this survey we conducted, the declining sales are due to the fact that, 'Our roster of artists suck loads of sweaty choade and are devoid of talent.'"

Recording Magnate Number 1: "INTARWEB PIRACY!!! BLARRGGHHH!"

Recording Magnate Number 2: "No, I'm pretty sure it's because we keep over-producing and over-promoting acts that are indistinguishable from one another and we've flooded the market with bad music."

Recording Magnate Number 3: "Check out this new artist I signed! She's a combination of Avril Lavigne and Britney Spears!"

Recoding Magnate Number 1: "So she'll obey her corporate masters and we can preen her image to overshadow the awful music to ensure that idiots buy her album in droves?"

Recording Magnate Number 3: "Yes!"

Recording Magnate Number 1: "Is she jail-bait masturbatory fantasy material?"

Recording Magnate Number 3: "Yes! She's 16!"

Recording Magnate Number 1: "Brilliant! Recording Magnate Number 3, you're getting Promoted! Recording Magnate Number 2, you're fired and will resort to sucking dick for nickels!"

Recording Magnate Number 2: "Dag, yo."
virgin sacrifice

Dangerous pets.

So I was sitting there interviewing myself and a scorpion ran past!

I scooped him up and put him in a Tupperware container. Now what do I do with him? What can I feed him? What shall I call him? Is he just biding his time until he can make a break for freedom and bring me a slow, agonising death?

He's so cute!


- iibnf, from a friend's locked LJ. Quoted with permission.
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    giggly giggly

and the cats flee

Quoted from a locked post by eleveninches, with permission:

My best friend and I just got back from seeing Prisoner of Azkaban for the second time. I'm not cutting because it's been a few weeks. If you think you're going to be spoiled, scroll.

I about died laughing during the final scene between Harry and Sirius. Not because it was funny or melodramatic or any of that, but because the camera shows Sirius's knuckle tattoos, and I was reminded that my sister and I were talking about how it would be so great if instead of Azkaban it was Ozkaban, and all Sirius could talk about was prison.

Sirius: Harry... have you ever killed a man, just to watch him die?
Harry: No?!
Sirius: Er, me neither.

And Sirius wanted to show Harry the Dark Mark brand on his ass, and he has horror stories of the Dementors raping the prisoners, and he's all, 'You learn to just look the other way, Harry, just look the other way.'

This post is brought to you by exhaustion.
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    laughing
Friendship is the best (Coupling)

When letters rebel...

Sapphire la Rosa: lol. that means i'll be RPing three sut scenes simultaneously.
Pretty Cassa Cat: sut?
Sapphire la Rosa: smut
Sapphire la Rosa: the 'm' was staging a protest and refused to go to work
Pretty Cassa Cat: *Snickers* Bad m!
Sapphire la Rosa: *shakes fist at it*

-poison_parlour
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    amused amused
00

my sister is awesome

And here's a free lesson, SCA rejects! Two pounds of glittery make up per eyelid is too much for anybody, unless your goal is looking like the world's stumpiest drag queen or the lovechild of Anna Nicole Smith and Courtney Love. Somebody's sky-clad ass needs a brutal flogging with a dew-drenched peeled rowan wand that's been harvested under the full moon by a milk-skinned left handed virgin.

[...]

I know, I know... I should take my negativity and go on my "merrie" way


She also pointed out that Winter Rose Nightingale Nickerson had pallor as an interest.
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    amused amused
Hello Nurse!

Speaking as a childhood blonde, ta very much!

From jarodrussell:

In other news, apparently, I have a thing for blondes. This is news to my conscious mind, as it has always struggled to strike a kind of balance. When asked for a quote, my subconscious mind said, "Ooh baby, ooh baby, ooh." My conscious mind replied by sneering derisively. Both gonads were unavailable for interview, but they did send out a press release: "Duh."
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    amused amused
faust would have bargained away his soul
  • boho

SPREAD THE WORD: GAY AURAS!!!!

From this hilarious post of sanspantalons on bad_rpers_suck about a char's amazing gaydar.

But C starts making comments to B in his journal about how she can 'sense' that something has happened, and that 'his aura is invigorated'. That's right folks, his gay aura is invigorated.
Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.




Followed by more, plus equally amusing comments on sporks "gay aura" icons and HIS GAY IS PASTEDE ON YAY

Dude! Obviously this is a strange phenomenon sweeping the world! Check your gay auras NOW and spread the word!
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    amused amused

*snorts her water*

copperbadge apparently wants to ruin my laptop. From a hysterical theatrical review:

I think I actually entered an altered mental state. I started reciting Eliot in my head just to escape from the world I was currently in. When you take solace in Prufrock, my friends, you are on shaky ground indeed.

Also, there's this:

...somewhere out there is a stage mother who forced an innocent child to fail at jumping rope in front of a theatre full of people, and I'm going to find her and subject her to a torment similar to that of the narrator in Clockwork Orange.

Also, this:

After that things picked up a little. Which is good, otherwise I would have committed suicide with only a theatre program and a pocketwatch at my disposal, and it would not have been pretty.

And, hell, just go read it all. Including the comments.
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    snorking