Metaquotes

There's a robin and a blue jay divebombing one another outside. It's better than the WWE. The Rock does not have wings and also can not tear appendages off of his opponents.

Blue Jay: Omg liek ur nest is 2 cyute can i move in 2??
Robin: i will cut u bitch
Blue Jay: wtf?!?! lol omg u dramma queen
[Robin goes east side on Blue Jay]
Blue Jay: omg i ded.

Thank god birds don't have opposable thumbs.

jellyfishkiss has some strange thoughts sometimes... this is one of the more normal ones.

ket_makura has some interesting problems...

Now, before I get this challenge underway, I need to clear out my head. So, all you plot snatches and characters that are hanging out in my head, go away!

Ayane! Don't think I don't see you pinning Kasumi to the floor. Yes, I understand that you and she are all sparkly since you both got to star in my first yuri fic. Yes, I know that I promised you guys a dark, bondage-y somewhat AU fic, but come on. I need to finish this first. For now, though, please step out, and take your sister-rival with you. No, I don't care what you do with her, as long as you tape it.

Kazuya and Jin, I don't know where to even begin with you two. I know I have three fics of you two in the works, and none of them are close to completetion, but I need you guys to leave me alone for a little while. Go uh...go figure out how you can justify being together, since I can't.

Lady Kikka and Ryorin, yes I know, I promised you that AU with Ryorin as a bodyguard, but...not now. So, if you could yojimbo over that way? Thanks.

1776 slash. Good God, where did you come from? Get out get out get out of my head! Thomas Jefferson, and that syrupy Ruthlage guy. Christ. Out now and forever! And take that quote from Proverbs that inspired you! Lord...

I'm not entirely sure if this was a friends-only post, but I got permission to post this in any case.

About the actor who played Remus Lupin in the third Harry Potter movie (from a big Remus Lupin/Sirius Black fan):

"Remus. Oh, Remus, Remus, Remus. Throughout the movie, he kept acting as if he
has a fucking pole up his ass ( And not Sirius's pole, no. :[ )!"

-porcelain_wings

Stolen from the ever-quotable forestcats here :

I stopped at Mitzvahland to get two more mezuzahs and the prayers on parchment that are placed in them. Note to self: Don't joke with Orthodox salesman about him rolling the parchment in plastic wrap about it being similar to rolling joints.

From slodwick, in this post:

I just finished watching a movie loaned to me by Crush!Girl, called Equilibrium.

The movie stars Sean Bean, Angus MacFadyen & Taye Diggs, all of whom make me very happy... but it also stars Christian Bale as the "hero" of the piece.

I'm sorry to say this, and believe me, I've tried to fight it, but... that man will never, ever seem anything but 100%, certifiably batshit insane (if you'll forgive the pun) to me. I don't care what the role is, something about him and his on-screen presence just screams "mental defect".

I half-expect that in the upcoming film, Batman will pull a chainsaw out of his desk drawer and go choptastic on some stylish Gotham socialite, leaving poor Alfred scrub the blood out of the Persian rug.

It's just so unsettling, because while I do enjoy a Bats who's a little nutty, there is a line, you know? That line between brooding, introspective darkness, and a desire to feed the corner ATM a kitten or two.

Mr. Bale, my friend, crosses that line.

In the comments to one of apocalypsos's Things Guys Do That Make Them Considerably Less Attractive To The Opposite Sex list

lots42: I don't quite get the point of staring at the boobs. It's not as if they will vanish if you look away

wal_lace They won't? Have you seen Jennifer Connelly lately? I mean, I just looked away for a couple of months...

Movies are just the world's most expensive and elaborate fan art, there to be enjoyed and perhaps to provide inspiration, but not to determine outcomes....(Draco's a big hero in fandom, and if you can find one scrap of evidence for this in the books, you win this half-used up pad of Post-Its. This one right here.)

-- yahtzee63, in this post about the Tonys, PoA, and other things.

Television: Talk to your kids about smoking often.
Me: You know, mom. It's been a while since you talked to me about smoking.
Mom: Diana, don't smoke. It's bad for you.
Me: Yay.

- venufan on weirdisgood

You know, you can see the POA movie without having read the books, thanks to your friendslist. vonnie_k explains:

Soooo, first off, I *still* haven’t' read the books. (Oh, shut up.) But I, like, totally know the story already! Harry and Draco have the whole Buffy/Spike thing going on, Snape is secretly lusting after Harry when he's not lusting after Hermione, all the Weasleys are shagging like a pack of incestuous bunnies on crack, and Remus and Sirius are going at it while they're human *and* while they are dogs. Or wolves. Whatever. See? I know ALL!

Full review here.

amatia: And I always strive to remember the #1 Thing About Harry Potter Casting:

It could have been Haley Joel Osmet.

And another one, not really spoilery for the movie, I don't think, but I'll cut ( Collapse )

cangetmad attends Aberdeen Pride and meets an acquaintance:

"Kate! You're looking wonderful!" she said to my breasts.
Ah, I thought. My people, among whom I can find community and respect. I have come home.

From a locked post, with permission.

Do you realize that every Tamagotchi in the world is dead right now?
-- littledevi

Well, then we brought Goten in the house. He was sweet and wonderful, until he discovered food. Then, he ate, grew huge, and went insane. Which is a good argument not to feed your cats. If you don't feed them, they won't get vicious. They also won't use the litter box very much. Of course, they'll die, but sometimes I have to ask myself if that is really such a bad thing.
-- darqstar

This just in, there are stupid people on the internet. That story after our feature, "Holy Crap There's Porn Here Too."
-- mwerevu

You needn't think I've been idle [while my laptop is down], though -- I've written 1,000 words of that Crais/Aeryn for Flora already. Turns out you can write fanfiction on something called 'paper' using an implement commonly known as a 'pen.' Who knew?
-- andrastewhite

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cindyjade (from a locked post, but posted with permission):

my fortune cookie said "Pleasure awaits you" ALL THE COOKIES PREDICT SEX WITH DOM HURRAH. I LOVE THE CHINESE!!!!!!

Why thamiris hasn't seen the movie yet:

I need better friends, or at least some volunteer beards, so I can blame them for my inappropriate squeaks and squeals, the rumble of my private bits every time Alan Rickman opens his mouth. I've loved that man at least since (and as much as) Truly, Madly, Deeply, enough that I stayed up late the other night to watch some film where he's a hairdresser, of all things; but every time he speaks I experience underwearial sparkage because that voice just comes straight from his penis, doesn't it?

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from one of kelsey(unhappyending21)'s locked posts about a recent car accident she was in:
he was like "ARE YOU REFUSING TREATMENT?!!" and i was like "ahh, no" and hes like "SHE REFUSED!"

made me giggle.

Then I read the actual instructions, which were basically "Gently insert one finger, then another, then another until you can get your entire hand in and start to truly lubricate the area."

Who knew being a slash author automatically upped your skill levels as a cook? 8)

thebratqueen here.

"There are two schools of thought on Nostradamus: either (1) he had supernatural powers which enabled him to prophesy the future with uncanny accuracy, or (2) he did for bullsh*t what Stonehenge did for rocks."

"When we first got AOL, Natalie and I were the only ones using it. Since I was the one to set it up, my SN became the Master Screen Name. So when Dad gets a TOS warning for posting offensive material on a message board, I find out. Now I have to talk to my father about using appropriate language on the internet. That's just sad."

spleeny here

from the lj of photosexual

trouble with food

The instructions on the can of bean dip I bought with my chips said "refrigerate after opening" so I did.

pulled the lid off, put it in the refrigerator, and I really want to have some with the chips, but It seems I'm gonna have to stand in the doorway of the open refrigerator and dip chips in it from there. What a waste of electricity and time! I may have to move the television and computer near so I can snack and enjoy some visual entertainment until the strippers show up that I rented.

I'm thinking of writing to the manufacturer of the bean dip, and asking if it's ok if maybe I can eat some and THEN refrigerate it after I'm done - so it won't go bad between servings. I think if that were ok, or the intended use, they'd have put that on the can where I could see it. They didn't.

So I'm writing this, and dashing back and forth to the fridge to have some chips with bean dip.

I'm not going to do this again if it's that complicated.

A random list I thought up lieu of sleeping before my finals, which begin in... *checks cock*... yep, six and half hours.
- coldocean, posted to historical_love

I'm sure they meant 'clock'. Pretty sure.

Wisdom from angylinni on fan fic reviews:

If you are overusing the same tired adjectives, or ellipses (Those three little dots. This isn’t Star Trek, we aren’t writing James T. Kirk. “I know…you…like me…don’t you?”), or anything else that could be construed as annoying (not using spellcheck for instance!!!), please get help and don’t inflict your badfic on the rest of us.

The rest of the entry is here.