May 26th, 2004

International House of mattsachs

In mattsachs's entry about his mother's travails in finding pancakes for his last breakfast at home before his departure for California for the summer:

So, my mother was at the Townhouse Diner, the third stop on her pancake odyssey, preparing to order strawberry pancakes. She asked her server of strawberries and batter. "Why, no," replied the waiter, "the strawberries are not in the batter." My mother was grief-stricken! "Why, kind sir," she moaned, "I would be ever-so-grateful if you would put them in the batter for little old me. I'm just lookin' for a little hospitality. Why, when I was a little girl, back in sweet Seaford Manor, my dear mamma would always be rushin' about between balls and cotillions, but she always had time to fix me and darling Edward up some flap-jacks, with fresh strawberries which pa had picked ripe off the vine tossed in the batter, made with love."

"Kva-ha-ha!" cackled the waiter, "You say you want strawberries in your batter? That would make our grill sticky, and we can't have that, now can we? You will NEVER have strawberries in your batter! And when I have the deed to Seaford Manor, your dear sweet pet pig will be served at my triumphant banquet! Oh, and I think you'll find that your friend the Sheriff is unable to help you, for he is, shall we say, tied up at the moment! Bwa-ha-ha!!"

The whole entry is long, but worth reading - when Matt is on, the bastard is on.
Freaked, K: DW Nine & Rose

(no subject)

There comes a time in every man's life where he needs his fedora.

Of course, there's getting it away from the small, vicious cat that has made it its home first.

This may not end well.

-- crantz

Y'know every once in a while (especially after the latest inevitable slugging match over politics, culture, love, hate, weather or the gender of Carrot Top's pet gerbil)I start wondering why my friendslist doesn't just defriend me. And sometimes I wonder why I don't just make up a list and ax murder the lot of them, the bastards.

-- doqz

(no subject)

Referring to The Olsen Twins:

"There's just something unsettling about a child who is the picture of blonde-haired, blue-eyed perfection, without so much as a single freckle or crooked tooth to mark them as human. You wonder if maybe Hitler, Mengele, and the rest of the gang got a little further ahead in those Master Race experiments than we thought, creating super-spawn from the seed of Rutger Hauer and the egg of, say, Uma Thurman."

-- porcelain72, from this post right here, tearing apart "Full House" - altogether a hilarious read.
agent may is unimpressed

On providing consumer feedback

Hi, I'm a big fan of Colombo yogurt, as it's some of the better tasting yogurt on the market. That's a good thing.

What I don't understand, though, is why you leave the #$%^@#^@$%^ seeds in the yogurt. I just had a cup of "blackberry burst" yogurt and I was spitting seeds after every spoonful and picking seeds out of my teeth for a while afterwards. Bad enough I have to stir my own yogurt (I never understood the appeal of "fruit on the bottom"), but now I have to strain it, too?

Please, for the sake of patriotic, freedom-loving Americans everywhere, strain the stupid seeds out of your yogurt.

Nicholas Tang

P.S. I'm honestly curious about why you don't take the seeds out; did some focus-group of teethless people decide seeds weren't a problem in their yogurt?

--ebess, quoting her friend's letter to General Mills
K: Smile, Smile
  • kielle

(no subject)

And as a completely impartial *snerk* observer, I think Herr Bloom is much more manly [than Brad Pitt] in his skirt, even if it DOES look like he took a Be-Dazzler to it. He just Be-Dazzled it in an extremely manly and testosterone-laden type of way.

Yeah. Really. Honest.

-- crevette

Collapse ) hell with it, the whole thread rocks. And has pics!
Maria - Punk

(no subject)

Another character whose presence is vital to the show is the host Ryan Seacreast, who of course CLEARLY has a secret love affair going on with Simon, as is evidenced by how they appear to despise each other through constant bashing of one another, which we all know means the First Rule of Slashing applies (Rule #1: If two people hate each other to the core of their very being, they are deeply in love and need to be having mad passionate sex). --nyanone in her commentary on American Idol.
geek, I have feet?, Dustpuppy

And now, your moment of zen

In this post (the second part of "A Brief Guide to the Writing of Crossovers"), camwyn suggests:

If you suddenly realise that it would be absolutely perfect to have the unbearable tension between Hellboy and Severus Snape defused by Crabbe wandering through the background singing 'Found A Peanut', then put it in (assuming that it really would defuse the tension and not merely engender a spate of 'wtf?' from the readers).
  • Current Mood
    silly silly
DANCE Anime girl
  • _skye_

"You know you're a geek when..."

#1,257: You know you're a geek when you have a conversation like this:

_skye_:You are the best! I totally heart you!!!! (...Um, let's not mention that to anyone. It'll be our little secret.)
takumi:*eyes everyone reading the comments* What about them? Do I have to hunt them all down now?...
_skye_:Oh, would you? ThankYouEverSoMuch! *Hands ZZ giant Killstick, with a chibi SailorMoon keychain fob attached to the back*
light9:*looks at base of the killstick and starts laughing* Ok here is the deal: you don't kill me and I won't tell anyone about your Sailor Moon thing. Do I have a deal?
takumi:Deal. What's ironic is my birthday coincides with Usagi's and Chibi-Usa's birthdays......
_skye_:The fact that you know that means that I (and perhaps my sister) have to adore you. Maybe forever.
light9:Weird! And my birthday is the same as Uranus'!

...I am such a dork.

Aren't we all, Light9, aren't we all. :D

(no subject)

I was sitting in the common room the other day and heard someone saying: "Right, well Keira Knightley has pulled Orlando Bloom, and Chris Fox has pulled Keira (ages ago before she was famous) and Hall went out with Chris Fox and I've pulled Hall when I was drunk..."


~ilye_elf (with permission)