Metaquotes

You lost your cell phone? But you think it's in the house. I'll try a test call for you. (places customer on hold, dials number... it rings, goes to voicemail... goes back to customer.) Ma'am? (pause, sudden shocked expression) What do you mean your DOG was RINGING?

- kubster at caughtsnippets

The bollockstoblair community is joined by tommy_toxen a British National Party-supporting dimwit, who, among other things, believes that Tony Blair is a communist. Tommy is on a mission to rid the world of "left-winged" people. His mission is not helped by the fact that he's so dumb that he managed to misspell the word "toxin" in his own username.

Tommy gives us a classic quote during this thread, in which he explains that, if there were to be a September 11th-style attack on the Houses of Parliament, the headlines should read "Plane flies into THE Big Ben", and not "Plane flies into Big Ben."

Plane flies into Big Ben

That's just stupid, makes it look like i mean flying into a big person called ben

Hence 'THE'

Bloody communists these days

How do these people get jobs?

elizabeth_: "I wish they made giant exercise wheels for cats."

cissa: "They'd just sleep on them..."

In note_to_cat, 2004-05-07

"My plan? My wildly devious plan? I want to clone. I shall name my clone...BuBu. BuBu will be of extremely mixed race and a member of Planned Parenthood, and a Boy Scout leader. Registered member of the Democratic party. Finds nothing offensive about nipples. BuBu will have a trust fund with many zeros behind it and shall spend it funding safe sex seminars in schools, abortion clinics, and peace rallies. BuBu will be pagan and BuBu belives in evolution. BuBu believes that the campaign to try and stop AIDS epidemic must use a combination of abstinace and condoms and must be taught to all those old enough to understand. BuBu will adopt a small, single digit rainbow coalition where everyone is happy and no one gets buggered. BuBu shall support his life partner, Jacob Goldstein, in his bidto become President of the United States, BuBu will have already picked out his Jackie O inspired First Lady wardrobe even before hearing about it.

And Conservative America shall weep and fear him."

mice

From nextian, here:


Is it wrong to be madly in love with a discipline of science?

I do not ask idly, for geometric proof and I are planning to run off and have a secret wedding and consumate our forbidden love.

Would we all get a memo about the apocalypse or would it just be a festive surprise for us all later?

--thatdamngood, in som_pos, here.

In regards to telling people to quit smoking, especially celebrities, surreality weighed in on the subject:

( Collapse )

Taken from a locked post, with permission.

Edit: For reference, this quote is in reference to elijahsmokeout. It has nothing to do with PSAs or anything of the like.

And "extreme programming" always makes me think I should be programming while jumping out of a plane.
- tronella, who does computer programming. Obviously.

Oh, really? How bad were the accents?

Not bad at all. Really. I'm sure Kate Beckinsale and Richard Roxburgh must have watched hours upon hours of Sesame Street to get their accents right. And as an added bonus, they can count now, too.

From apocalypsos's Review of Van Helsing

eliade, here:

that's so not right.

The Mystery channel keeps promoting an inexplicable line-up of movies like Austin Powers and Undercover Brother by calling them "madcap mysteries." Right. In that vein, Scream isn't a horror movie, it's a "comedy of death" and Lord of the Rings is a "western" because they're on horseback and American Pie is a "documentary of raw humor" and Bull Durham is a "musical of the heart" and Lost in Translation is "film-noir without the crime" or maybe a "war movie about the clash of cultures."

And Mulder/Scully is slash.

lmao! My roommate's phone just rang and vibrated itself off the desk and into her empty open desk drawer. *facepalm*

- islaya85

After watching Van Helsing, dementia had this to say:

I watched the credits just so I could get the writer's name so I can go to his house and kick him in the nuts.

(from a locked post, with permission.)

weredonut: Please, somebody help!!!! I've been reading too much badfic and I'm starting to add apostrophes to any word that ends in s. err, which I originally wrote as apostrophe's. see? There's no help for me. Thi's ha's to stop.

98 'Shouldn't that be " 'stop"?

weredonut: ;) Perhap's

-- here

It's things like this that remind me why I love oliveoyl:

In a fit of nervous energy, I painted a watercolor for Mom for Mother's Day.

It's going to look thoughtful, as opposed to something done to avoid boredom/masturbation.

but it had me guffawing for a good while. It's from the infamous Ebay wedding dress auction.

Wealthy will be the person that opens a store for Lane Bryant-sized women but sews size 7 tags on all the clothes.