Metaquotes

From envirobitch:

"There is nothing I want in life like a hollow, chocolate nazi.

See, when you open the Ark of the chocolate covenant, the nazis are all turned into brittle hollow molded chocolate. Thin enough that the phrase "I ate a chocolate nazi instead of breakfast" is feasible. Also thin enough that should you punch it, it would crumble like ash ("ash" being uniquely well-suited to make hot chocolate out of).

SO, now the question is, "What candy company can I convince to make chocolate nazis?""

from leenei's journal:

I've been told I have no drama in my lj posts. So, I've decided to make some up.

OMG, I cannot believe this! Jason had the nerve to try and dump me. ME!! He was all like, "Listen, Samantha, we need to talk.” And duh! What kind of a line is that?!?! I knew what was coming, he had to have been an idiot to think I wouldn’t. I knew he was gonna give the typical “It’s not you, it’s me” schtick. Screw that! So then I’m like “Yeah, we really do need to talk” and I go off on him and he’s all bewildered cuz he tried to dump me but I beat him to it. That’s how we professionals like to do it. Ugh, what the hell was I thinking going out with that loser?? Why didn’t you stop me?! Nicole? Kelly? Heather? Mallory? Jackie? Jenna? Val? Sasha? Leah? Anyone?!

This is ridiculous, I need to go shop.

But we all know that I can’t shop cuz my dad’s being a total ass. He says I can’t use his credit card for a whole week just cuz I went a teensy-weensy bit over my limit last month. Why can’t he understand, I *needed* those Manolo Blahnik boots!!! All four pairs of them!!!
What am I gonna do for a whole week if I can’t shop?!?!

I hate my life.

You know how at parties there's this white noise and you can't hear a damn thing and then the noise stop and there's this brief window, just long enough that EVERYONE can hear you explain that "rash will clear up by Monday, honest!" ?

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"I wish Brahma would let go that rule about us not interfering with each other's worshippers. We could go raise a little hell - metaphorically speaking, of course." Vishnu laughed, kicked Mazda's ankle under the blankets.

Mazda poked him in the ribs in retaliation. "You say that now, but just wait until the next time Thor gets drunk and decides to throw a Valkyrie orgy in the middle of your monastary."

--casapazzo in response to the lame flame in this thread.

Spotted in penknife's journal, unfortunately flamed, rather uninterestingly.

Flamer: Religion has had the same teachings now for 2000 years
wolfie_thu: Oh yeah? Well, the religion of ancient Egypt lasted for 3000 years. Which obviously means that Ra could so beat up your god. Ra ownz j00.

4:19 ALERT! People are brilliant! Ah, fiction. So much love to casapazzo.

I am hot, sweaty, tired, stinky, hungry, thirsty, splintered, blistered, callused, most likely bruised, my car needs gas, it's making funny noises, and I'm bleeding all over the place, and what's funny is that I'm happy.

It's a beautiful day.

- xandri

The lame flame continues to spawn the funneh:

Obviously it only takes a few hate-mongers to balance out us evil radicals. Radicals, of course, are big on breaking up bonds and destroying structures, but usually only only on a molecular level. We're really just looking for someone to bond with. We just need love.

tamnonlinear here.

juliadactyl: Oh well, back to the porn mines.

I'm going to bring home my violin tonight and piss my family off.

"Look, ma, I'm already a virtuoso!" *creeeeeeek*
-finnystix

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There hasn't been one version of Christianity since a couple of days after that nice Jewish hippie got himself killed in Jerusalem and his friends couldn't agree on whether they were going get the hell out of dodge by going north or south. -- azarias

My friend John, upon failing to replace brackets with karets when I showed him how to lj-cut things:

It didn't work.

You have betrayed me for the last time!!!

vicissitude in a comment in this thread on "conservative coming out day" at the ol' alma mater:


i admit it. i am conservative. i think the old ways are best and this new morality is destroying our country and our families. the way people behave these days makes me sick.

we need to bring back old fashioned religious values and good wholesome activities like orgiastic seasonal revels and feeding christians to the lions.

ah, everything was better in the good old days....