Metaquotes

I just had to metaquote her...

~Ami

"When you're emptying out the dishwasher, and out of nowhere, in your mind, comes a resounding chorus of Holy, Holy, Ho-o-lee-ee, Lord God Al-migh-ty, God in Three Persons, Blessed Trin-i-tee..."

~ wolfiegirl

Death Penalty?:

I feel that if an individual is not going to do anything constructive for society save for destruction, kill them and give me their shoes.

pandorakyss, here.

In other news I listened to a conversation about the effect of an architectural photographer on the state of architecture in the 20th century. Both of these subjects are things I have an interest in. Yet when listening to an interview with an art critic about this persons life, I was only able to understand a portion of the sentences this man uttered. I have never been accused of having a small vocabulary, but apparently I don't speak pompous.
--iamgerg

In a reply to ebess' plaint that four cats are too many and someone's got to vacuum every day, saurval writes:

"A friend of mine decided to cut out the middle man and just vacuumed his cats directly. The cats soon got over any fear they had of the vacuum, but instead always managed just to look mildly annoyed every time it happened. I do not know how it worked in the beginning, but by the time I met this person it was an act so casual that it was no different then dusting a vase. He would just vacuum whatever cats were in the room when he was doing the carpet. It was just one more surface to clean."

lampbane went searching for images of him for a website page and this is what she found:

"Have a good idea of who's playing certain characters, so sought images of Antonio Sabato Jr. (for Karlo) and was highly disturbed. No, not because he used to be an underwear model (though that's amusing in itself) but because there were numerous screen captures from a movie he did called Guilty as Charged (aka The Base II). I don't remember what tom_kiper said exactly, but I think it was something like 'homoerotic sado-masochism.' And I really enjoy typing that out."

do you think in the days before hard currency, when people bartered goods, that men used to tip the strippers with frankincense and wheat and baby goats?

do you think the strippers shimmied down the stone stripper column real sexy, and stuffed grain into their mouths seductively...

can you imagine?

what about the ancient gay nightclub circuit? can you imagine tipping dragqueens with sheep...? how everybody brought a big ass sack of oats for "Arka DeCovenant's" big dance number?

- kiakaha

"Man, I want to know where all the Satanists hang out who organize these protests. No Satanist I've ever known has ever had his shit together enough to take a stance on anything political.

Come to think of it, no Satanist I've ever known has really been a Satanist so much as a bored Montana skater kid who doesn't think smoking pot will piss off his parents quite enough..." (from blergeatkitty, found here)

Last night a little girl gave me a sticker. I held out my hand for it but she didn't like that, she wanted me to flip my hand over so she could stick it on my knuckles. My right knuckles. My left knuckles are all torn up from a fight I had with a Boston Red Sox fan. That is, if "a piece of gravel sidewalk in Nyack" is considered a Red Sox fan. I like to think it is. It tore up my left knuckle and my right palm and my knees, to his knees knees knees. Fighting 6th Street Style, Meg always loses.

- the ever-lovin' rollerboogie

This is what happens when you sleep with Monty Python playing in the background.

Character in dream: Well I was shot, tortured, stabbed, egg bacon and stabbed, egg bacon sausage and stabbed, stabbed eggs sausage and stabbed, stabbed stabbed stabbed stabbed.....

cocoajava on muses and the inspirations for writing:

"Um, then finally. The last one that's pestering me announced this morning that life is a sham, everything we do is a lie and perpetuates more lies, and nothing is real except soup."


Mmm, soup.

"Dearest Amazon Gold Box of Mine;

STOP DANCING.

Yours Truly,
Your Beyotch Mesmerized Shopper
"

--ldy in letters to things.

"Finished Hello Treebeard. Mom said, "Is that the log that the Log Lady carries around?" "Yes. Yes, it is."

Hm. Log...
"

--annlarimer, whose plush sewing creations are always sources of joy and amazement to me.

Sometimes those long-winded memes can produce some truly rare gems, especially when it's someone like flynot filling them out...

Racism?: Blind people without the sunglasses and walking sticks.

Kobe Bryant or Shaq?: I don't listen to hip-hop

This from the boy who bought the FUBU shirt from the clearance rack, and wondered why people kept eyeing him strangely. We love ya, Othello!

Her thought process is very Fifties and frightening. If one looks pretty, her logic goes, then one will attract boys. If one attracts boys, then one will eventually score a ticket to a house in the suburbs, a dishwasher, and someone to grow incontinent with.

eroticneurotic from a locked post with permission.

ursulav on the denizens of her backyard and their mischief:

So, I would like to issue a public apology to the squirrels. Only for this, mind you--you little fuzzy buggers are STILL guilty of eating my bird feeder and carrying off the other bird feeder and dismantling the OTHER bird feeder and ripping holes in the other OTHER bird feeder, but you weren't the ones knocking over my seedlings. So I'm sorry that I thought dark and vile thoughts about you for that.

All the other dark and vile thoughts, however, were richly deserved, especially the one with the cuttlefish and the flamethrower, and I regret nothing.

Conversation in a thread:

swmboToday in the breakroom there were fliers for a plant sale some greenhouse was having. On it they said:
Flowering Shrubs
Custom Containers
New and Used Tropical Plants.
5% discount if you bring in this flier
...

Um, what, exactly, is a "Used Tropical Plant" ? And how is it different than a new one. OMG, what if all my plants are used and I bought them unknowing! Somebody else might have sniffed that flower! Is it even still under warranty? *flails about in a panic* Sometimes the world scares me.

annakovskyI think a used tropical plant is one that got picked up at a bar, slept with the guy, and then he never called. Sad story, really.

swmboYeah some cacti are nothing but pricks.

(and that was probably the second most vulgar thing I've said in my life - *blinks at herself*)

There he is brutally tortured, raped, poked with sporks, and fed to goats. Luckily the goats spit him out and he arrives minutes later--such is the wonder of portals--back in Sunnydale at Xander's feet, where he is immediately cuddled and sniffed back to health. I took great care with the healing anal sex scenes, and I think it shows.

eliade here on stories she never wrote.

You know you're odd when:

You're whisking eggs and you hold up the whisk and say "it's whisky business!" and then proceed to sing a song about it.

You're then cooking the eggs and you hold up the spatula and say "it's spat-tacular!"

You're brushing you're cat and you put on one of those SARS masks because their fur is going up your nose. Then, after you are finished, you make the cat wear the mask as a hat.

-the hot legged kuri_neko, by permission from this locked post... which includes pictures of said cat in aforementioned SARS hat.

If defenestrate is to throw somebody out of a window, what would the verb fenestrate mean?

1. To pull somebody in at a window, or
2. Not to throw somebody out of the window in the first place, or
3. To actively not throw somebody out of the window?

I kind of like the third definition myself.

"She self-fenestrated madly as the evil Count attempted to chuck her out of the window."

or

"He fenestrated her.

"'You can't go around throwing yourself out of windows,' he said. 'Somebody might get killed.'

"'That's the point!' she cried."

afrai in this post, pondering further upon the wonderful word we have all come to love:>

From the now ubiquitous false memory meme, in the comments of catvalente's post:

Overheard by a servant girl outside:

“… and after giving the golden apple to Aphrodite, I asked that I may have the most beautiful woman in all the world. And here you are before me.”

After a polite pause for consideration, the lady answered.

“That’s very nice. But I’m afraid my answer is no. I can’t say I’m not flattered – although I’d be a bit more flattered if you weren’t just interested in my shiny breasts. I mean, we have only just met. What do you really know about me? Have you actually read anything I’ve ever written? You know where you want to go? Crete.”

“I …”

“You are certainly not bad looking. You have a nice Byronic brow and your choice of tunic color harmonizes rather nicely with your olive complexion. But let’s get real here. You are only, what, fifteen?”

“I’m sixteen!”

“Okay, you are sixteen. Has your sixteen year-old penis considered the nettlesome regional political repercussions of your proposed stunt? Probably not. You haven’t for even one moment thought of how this may upset the east end of the Mediterranean basin. Oh boy! Another pointless war. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be Boadicea if need be; but the point is, things are nice and quiet right now and I’d like to keep things that way. I’m right, aren’t I? You haven’t considered any of this, have you?”

“You don’t understand …”

“No, Romeo, you don’t understand. I’m married - happily married. Do you really think I’m going to give that up to put up with your adolescent angst? No thanks. You talk a good line and you are handsome, I’ll give you that. I liked the story. Well, sort of. It has its problems. Perhaps you thought you could make me overlook the sexist subtext on feminine vanity by flattering mine. Not a little ironic considering the source, Pretty Boy. So you are cute. But your idea is just stupid, and stupid just isn’t sexy. Stupid bad. It just cries out loud, ‘Hey, look everybody: I’m fifteen!’ ”

“I’m SIXTEEN!”

“Perhaps, but your idea says you are fifteen. Maybe we should see some I.D. – Not id: Iyeee Deee. ”

“But I just want to please you!”

“You’re sixteen!” What do you know about pleasing a woman? Do you even know where to find what’s not trust in front of you? Fifteen, sorry, sixteen minutes after you have carried me off and gotten me alone it would be over. And there’s another thing. This ‘carrying off stuff’ simply won’t do. I’d like some acknowledgment of my own agency, thank you.”

“You daren’t scream ...”

“EXCUSE ME!!?? You will be the one screaming, like the little boy you are, if you lay a hand on me. Now get the Hades outta here!”

Paris seems on the verge of saying something, wrinkles his Byronic brow, pauses, pouts and leaves.

At least this is how the story was related to me. I’ve been schtuping the servant girl.

--rohmie